Picky eater (not eating)

[Lirpa11]

We have an almost two year old son. He wieghs almost 21 pounds.

He was born at average weight of 7 lbs 2 oz, and gained really well for the first 3-4 months. After that he has gained poorly and was around the 3rd percentile at his last check up (February 2017). He weighed maybe a bit less than what he does now.

The doctor has been concerned for awhile regarding his weight. I give him food, I give him pediasure, I stopped bf at 15 months to encourage him to gain more weight and eat more. That didn't help.

I still cannot get him to eat more than a few bites at a time. If I try to feed him he pushes the food away and turns his head. He will tell me no.

I just saw him at daycare on the videos, he was the first kid up and playing after lunch. I know he is not a fast eater...

My husband's motto is he will eat when he wants to. I like t think we as parents need to encourage him somehow. I have tried different foods, I have tried snacks, I have tried cutting out snacks so he eats more at meal times. I am getting NOWHERE!

He will probably have a 2 year old check up soon, and I am dreading it as I know the doctor will probably freak out again and tell me we need to run a million blood tests again to see what's up. BTW, we have run blood tests and kidneys are checking out fine, he is slightly anemic so we added iron to his diet (medicinal) for a few weeks... I don't think it helped.

Any other mommas with similar stories?

 

[AngelUK]

My son Sebastian is underweight and hardly eats anything either. He only has a few foods that he likes and I try to always include those in what ever I make. He is 5 and has been this picky ever since I weaned him. So I understand your pain.
One thing though, I do agree with your husband. Your son will eat when and what he wants to. Trying to make him eat when he does not want to, is a losing battle and might make things worse in the long run as this then becomes a power thing. You cannot win. Just offer healthy food and hope he grows out of it. So many kids do. It is so so hard I know. Try this pdf for reassurance and tips: "Ellyn Satter "Division of Responsibility in Feeding". She also wrote many books on children and eating/feeding that might be of help. Most of them are available for Kindle too.

 

[MindUtopia]

What are meal times like in your house? It's very normal for them to be picky just before and around 2 years. My daughter was a pretty good eater as a baby, but definitely got picky around then. Do you think he has any sensory issues? That could be one explanation for why he isn't eating. But that's rare and with that one exception, this is what I would suggest.

We got our daughter involved in preparing food. I stood her up on a chair at the counter and she would help me prepare dinner. I wouldn't let her handle raw meats, etc. but she could help me with chopping things, measuring, stirring, pouring things in pots, etc. This is how she first started to try a lot of vegetables and other things she had always refused to eat. Those foods are now some of her favourites and have been for 2+ years now. It never slipped back to her refusing to eat.

Also, I would eat family meals together and eat the same things, no special foods, no making things for him if he refuses what you are all eating. And try all sorts of new things you would never thing he'd like. It turns out mine loves mussels. She can eat an adult sized bowl of mussels in garlic butter. People who see her do it are astonished. It's an expensive thing to like, so we don't indulge it often, but it's certainly not the sort of thing most people who consider a 'toddler food.' But we fed her everything we would eat and that's what we were eating one night and she loved it. Once she started to try those new things and realised she liked them, she was much more adventurous in trying other new things (many of which she also really liked).

I also wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Don't try to get him to eat, don't get upset if he doesn't, don't offer extra things after the meal when he hasn't eaten, and unless advised by your doctor I'd steer well clear of the Pediasure, it's just sugary milk. If he doesn't eat, that's fine. But when he does, make sure he's getting loads of calories by packing them in, butter on everything (I put it in oatmeal, on rice, on veg, everything), nut butter in things, coconut oil, make smoothies with nut butter or coconut oil added, etc.

That worked for us. My daughter has always been small (2nd centile after birth), but she's up to about 60th now (she's 4.5). She eats great and isn't picky. She does still have days when she won't eat, but it's not a big deal. I make her sit at the table, but she never has to eat if she doesn't want to and that's relieved some of the pressure and stress from meals. I think the PP is right that it can become a power struggle otherwise. But if you just cook and eat together and you model what good, adventurous eating looks like and you eat everything and keep meals relaxed and stress-free, he will eventually mimic that.