Playing gun games

[Mrs Doddy]

Dd is building lego guns at nursery and saying I'm going to kill you , I do not like it. I've explained to her that guns are dangerous and not toys and it's not nice to say things like that guns hurt people - she's nearly 4, I think some of the kids at nursery have older brothers

Do I ignore it ? After explaining to her she says "but the boys at nursery do it"

Argh how do you teach your kids how you want them to be brought up when there's outside influences you can do little about ?

 

[Wannabe Mommy]

Me and my brothers used to play cops n robbers or cowboys n Indians all the time. We had guns made of Lego, sticks, water pistols or just cheap toy guns. We made bows and arrows and all sorts.

As of yet none of us has turned into a homicidal maniac

I think it's fine as long as it's just play and she understands that real guns are bad.

 

[ItsJana]

Argh how do you teach your kids how you want them to be brought up when there's outside influences you can do little about ?

You just have to reinforce your beliefs and lead by example. Once kids start preschool, they will be influenced by other kids and it will be like that for the rest of their schooling days. Just encourage other play, for example my kids are really into art and love to dance, DH and I put them in ballet last Fall and art classes in the summer to get them to develop their own hobby apart from what their school friends do for games and interests.

 

[aimee-lou]

I don't mind that actual games - as a PP said a good game of cops and robbers is great fun! But it don't like the language that they use. Words like 'kill' and phrases like 'beat you up' or 'hurt you loads' are not appropriate, polite or civilised. I encourage Earl to tone the language down, after all it's only a game. I ask him to say 'get' instead of 'kill' and not to threaten people as if he's going to hit them as that's bullying IMO. He is not allowed to be rough with his brothers - that's in our family rules which are on the wall for all to see, so it's easy for me to reinforce that part. Language is harder but I correct him literally every time I hear it and I have explained and most of the time he's good about it and understands as he'll correct the little girl next door when she says those things.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I'm very anti-gun and won't buy violent toys, but Lucas has learned these things in nursery from his friends and I don't mind. He knows my opinion on the matter and I've told him that I won't buy him toy guns and why, that's enough for me.
I didn't have toy guns growing up but I liked playing violent games with my sisters and we talked about killing each other during play battles, it was a lot of fun and it never seemed sinister to us the way it did to my mum.

 

[jd83]

Crazily enough, this is a discussion a bunch of us were just having on the FB mommy board for the housing development I live in, as a mom posted last night how awful she thought it was to see little boys out playing their yards with toy guns...Yes, that comment did not end well for her, lol.

For me, I think the main thing is to teach kids the difference, that real guns DO kill people, and they won't come back to life like when you play pretend guns. Real guns shouldn't be played with, and should be kept in a safe locked up by parents, etc. Kids are pretty smart with realizing the difference, especially when you talk with them about it. Toy gun play is pretty common with kids at that age, and usually outgrown. For most, its a way of being a "hero", catching the bad guy, getting the bad guy, etc.

This is the link that was posted when we were talking about it last night on FB:
https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/toy-guns-do-they-lead-real-life-violence

 

[messica]

As a hunting family with plenty of real guns in our home - we don't allow it. At least in regards to violence towards each other.

If they want to pretend to hunt dinosaurs together in the backyard I could care less, but no way am I going to condone play where they turn imaginary guns on each other. I don't think there's any value in that anymore than I think there's value in grown men sitting in front of the GTA video game.

I've taught my kids to be confident in telling their friends when something doesn't sit well with our beliefs/rules, and they've become very good at shifting their friends social play to something more neutral if it takes that kind of turn.


If it's something you're not comfortable with, share that with her and don't be afraid to talk about why. When she says kids at nursery school do it, I'd use that as an opportunity to discuss peer pressure (with age appropriate language). Ask her if kids in nursery school do naughty things does that mean she needs to do them too? If Billy soils his pants, does that mean she should? If Jane talks back to the teacher, does that make it ok for her to also? Use it to express to her that she's her own person and can make her own choices outside of what her friends do. Teach her how to assert herself within the group, let her know she can always say I don't want to do that, can we play/do this instead?

Seems heavy for 4 but the younger you start the more solid that foundation will be

 

[Pearls18]

DH is an infantry soldier and gunner by trade DS will grow up knowing the influence of guns in his dad's life, when we go to RAF families' days the guns are out on display for people to see how heavy they are etc, it's not something we are ashamed of, it is part of our work community and defends this country and we are proud of this. HOWEVER, there is a context, if DS was playing soldiers, or cops and robbers then I think this is great for imaginative play, but if he started mimicking GTA type stuff or being very violent then I would step in. He does already do the whole "peow-peow" thing in nursery, he has to go pass armed guards to get onto nursery lol...they're going to be influenced, as he grows up I will contextualise it more and explain good guys vs bad guys and why his daddy does what he does, but in the mean time I don't think he's doing any harm playing daddy in the playground.

Like jd83 was saying about the difference in what guns do, I know it sounds silly but it's like knives, I don't let DS play with knives, he knows they're dangerous and I won't let him help me cut things up, but he knows his little one is good for food...if that makes sense? He would never try and hurt someone with a knife. They can learn the difference between good uses, and bad uses. I'm not sure if that's a good comparison or not lol, I understand a knife is a tool but a child will have no reason to be with a real gun, but I'm sure he will grow up to understand the good and bad sides to them, guns are not a new thing to childhood, lots of us grew up with action men etc.

My MIL was very anti guns, anti gun play, anti hunting, she's a big hippy lol....and 2 of her sons ended up as infantry soldiers in the military. Oh and her daughter is marrying the keenest hunter ever lol.

 

[Abigailly]

I was brought up around guns. If there were any issues on base we had armed soldiers in the school corridor... Obviously we were going to pick it up. My mum stuck by 'Firearms have a place in our lifestyle however we NEVER point one at another person'. It's how I try to keep Niamh in check.