Playing with my emotions

[destynibaby]

The father of my child and i broke up 2 weeks before i found out I was pregnant.
He broke up with me.
When i told him i took several tests and they were positive-- he was not happy. he told me the baby wasnt his and i need to get an abortion. A week later he came over with a change of heart. he was happy about me being pregnant.
He asked me a million questions. He asked me was i with anyone else, and i told him i wasnt with anyone else the entire time we were together but i was after we broke up. I hooked up with an ol friend 3 days before i took a pregnancy test. and we used condoms. but my child's father got mad and said that it's that guy's baby lol. i was like its not possible to get such a strong positive like i have 3 days after having sex with someone. He wouldnt believe me and stormed out of my house like a 4 year old. He asked his aunt who is a nurse and she said its not possibly. then when i went to the doctor and confirmed i was 6 weeks, that shut him up. Shortly after he starts the ' i dont want you to be with anyone else, i dont want my kid around anyone else and if youre with other people there is no future for us BS".
Now of course I would love to be a family but he broke my heart when he broke up with me out of nowhere. I just dont want it to happen again. So whenever he mentioned the family stuff, i just kinda brushed it off and said we will see. Then one day... maybe it was hormones, i text him and i told him i still loved him and i miss him. He never responded.
I think he wants to be a family-- when the baby gets here. But he wants to go out and have sex with as many women as possible while im pregnant. because when he mentions being a family its always 'in the future'
Why cant it be right now? why cant you be here when i need you, when my crazy cravings hit? or when im feeling super emotional and just need you to hold me? I just feel so alone!!
Im okay with being a single mother if thats what its going to be.
but stop playing with my emotions!

 

[Dezireey]

Oopsie double posted

 

[Dezireey]

To be honest, all these guys that treat us badly when they find out we are pregnant and the ones who bugger off when we are and then re-appear when the baby is here.... they are not worth our time anymore, ever. These are men, that when the chips are down in life and things go rocky in a relationship, they just run for the hills like cowards. Seriously, you dont need someone like him in your life. I will never take my FOB back, even if he begs as damage is done and its too late. I would never be able to be back in that mans arms and look into his eyes with trust ever again. I would be constantly wondering WHEN he is going to let me or his son down or leave me, its no way to live in any relationship. A lot of these men have made their beds and should lie in them and leave us ladies alone to find nice, caring and respectful men to be happy with in our lives, they at least owe us that after all the pain they have put us through. Dont let him mess with your head hun, he needs to live with his decision and man up NOW, not when it suits him.

 

[Terukki]

Please do not get back with him. My ex acted like that except that he didn't breakup with me. I founded that he was cheating on me with a girl he worked with. I'm just warning you now don't go back with a guy like that no matter how hard it is. If he ever came around wanted to be in our lives I will never allow it. I could never look at him the same. He is a liar and a cheater in my eyes and will always stay that.

 

[destynibaby]

Thank you ladies for your feedback and as much as i hate to admit it, you are both right. i deserve so much better. I just never thought id be bringing a child into the world alone. I just gotta focus on making a better life for me and my LO.

 

[Terukki]

It does get better after a while and raising a child by yourself sucks but you will enjoy love a child. A child is not born to hate and it will love you and accept you for who you are.

 

[Dezireey]

It does get better after a while and raising a child by yourself sucks but you will enjoy love a child. A child is not born to hate and it will love you and accept you for who you are.

Very true, Desty it's also good to try and see the positives in as much as you can about having a baby,such as;

1. You alone get all the pure love and attention and hugs from this little person that you will love all to yourself. 'Mummy' will always be No1 to them.
2. The bond they have with you will never be broken and one day as an adult with their own opinions and values, you will be their best friend, they will appreciate all that you have done raising them and you will be the one person in the world they can rely on more than anyone
3. All the lovely things that happen once baby is born, from the giggling and gurgling, the hugging and storytelling, re-visiting your own childhood over xmas and toys etc

There are lots more positive things that will really outshine all the sadness soon. There is also time right now (I am on my maternity leave and there is only so much cleaning, going on this forum and nesting I can do! lol) to brood and analyse and think about FOB and the situation you are in. Thankfully everyone keeps telling me and I read on these forums that once baby is here, you will be so focused and busy looking after LO, you will not have time to be sad and brood and think about the past. You'll be okay, take one day at a time, I am and it's slowly working, I have a looong way to go before I stop loving the FOB idiot, but hopefully one day he will remain in my past, where he belongs for good.

 

[jemmie1994]

FOB always used give me the 'we'll be a family in the future' crap if he isnt willing to do it now doubt he ever will dont waste time on him you deserve better

 

[Terukki]

FOB always used give me the 'we'll be a family in the future' crap if he isnt willing to do it now doubt he ever will dont waste time on him you deserve better

We all deserve better and we will because we are strong enough to realize not take the FOB back ever. That is my opinion the hardest but most rewarding step you can take to recovering from this kind of trauma.

 

[teal]

You do deserve so much better xx

 

[Terukki]

I could never leave my child behind and not wonder every single day how it's doing. How do people do this and not feel guilty.

 

[teal]

I could never leave my child behind and not wonder every single day how it's doing. How do people do this and not feel guilty.

I wonder that too. xx

 

[Dezireey]

I could never leave my child behind and not wonder every single day how it's doing. How do people do this and not feel guilty.

I wonder that too. xx

I always think of situations in life when (god forbid it never happens) your child ends up in hospital, whether a broken leg or operation etc. I know some men are contacted when this happens if the Mother is still in touch with FOB but for the men who just disappear......like you said, how can they leave a child behind?, knowing that throughout their life they may be in trouble and could need their dad. It's just all too weird really and that's probably why most of us women just don't get it, these men are a bad part of the species, in their own selfish world

 

[angelpkj]

don't go back there once baby is born he will come running back but tough shit he wasnt there for you when you needed him most !

 

[Terukki]

I could never leave my child behind and not wonder every single day how it's doing. How do people do this and not feel guilty.

I wonder that too. xx

I always think of situations in life when (god forbid it never happens) your child ends up in hospital, whether a broken leg or operation etc. I know some men are contacted when this happens if the Mother is still in touch with FOB but for the men who just disappear......like you said, how can they leave a child behind?, knowing that throughout their life they may be in trouble and could need their dad. It's just all too weird really and that's probably why most of us women just don't get it, these men are a bad part of the species, in their own selfish world

I really believe that I will find a better person for my child. I'm not giving hope just yet. I know people are always willing to take in a child.