Please help :( 38 weeks Pregnant, advice needed

[liverpoolbaby]

Where do I start?

We found out I was pregnant in April.

It was a shock at first; unexpected.

But we were happy it did add a little pressure to the relationship as we had only got back together in the New Year as he broke it off with me before Christmas out of the blue not giving me a reason.

I live at my parents, he lives at his mums.

Throughout the 9 months sadly I have felt he has not been there for me.
he has spent most weekends lying about his whereabouts and getting drunk at the weekends, hardly working and not saving a penny.

I on the other hand have been working my arse off saving every penny I could to provide for the baby and to save towards a deposit for our own place and buy bits.

He has called it a day more times I can imagine in the 9mths, I understand the pressure but being a mum to be I cant be nothing but strong and try and deal with it.

Not even 3 weeks to my due date he has broke it off with me again!!!

He has NOT bought the baby one single thing or given me any money towards what I have got. He spends his money on and partying all weekend with the lads. He is nearly 27.

I have made up my mind and I am done with it all, I am not taking him back this time.. not that he's intended to this time round.

Question is how the hell am I going to cope with him being in my life for the rest of!

His mum doesn't give 2 hoots but tells me too right I will be seeing my grandchild, she hasnt been in touch with me throughout and always sided with him and not been very nice.

His mum and dad have never been together not even when she found out she was pregnant, his dad is an alcoholic also.

I wont not let him see his baby, but I do not want him or his family thinking they can have the baby alone without me and not everyday or every other day!

How has everyone else coped?

 

[baileybubs]

Big hugs Hun. To be honest it sounds like you are much much better off without this guy, he sounds like a prize loser with the way he's behaved during your pregnancy (and believe me I know the feeling).

Firstly I would say, you are pregnant and scared and have aching bones and are so tired, and will have hormones galore. So whatever you are feeling now, it will get better and you will get through this. Secondly, do you have family/friends support? If not, get it. Ask for help. Ask for someone to spend time with you, phone someone every day, just always make sure someone is there for you because it is so hard and lonely sometimes but just a quick text or call from someone can help you get through a tough day.

I would also see a solicitor if you don't want him to be able to have the baby on his own. I totally understand you not trusting him if he's shown no interest but it's always good to get the facts on what his and your rights are. You can maybe get free legal aid for this so speak to citizens advice bureau.

And finally, I just wanna tell you what everyone has been telling me. It's hard to believe and it sometimes doesn't make you feel any better but just keep this thought in your head. You can do this. You can provide your baby with everything he/she needs and you don't need him. In the long run you and your baby will be better off.
Now when people have said this to me I've still felt like saying "easy for you to say but you're not the one doing it" lol, but honestly hun, I'm 6 weeks into being a single mum and I already feel ten times better. I know I can do this and I don't need him. Sure I am sad that our relationship is over, and that my kids might not know their father very well coz he doesn't really have much interest in them right now. But none of that matters coz a year from now I just know I will look back and be so glad I don't have to bother looking after him as well, and having a man child in my house who takes me for granted and doesn't appreciate me.

I promise it will get better, and soon you will start to notice that the good days happen more often than the bad.

 

[baileybubs]

Hope you are coping ok Hun, don't know if your LO has arrived yet but hope you are well.