Please help.... fighting for a HB

[oboeverity]

I need some advice.

I am what we called 'shared care' here in the UK; I am under midwives and hospital consultants for my pregnancy, because I have a BMI of 35, which is borderline for SC here. This is my 3rd pregnancy; the first ended before 12 weeks, and the second blessed us with our beautiful son, who is now 10 months old. I am 20 weeks now. My son was born in hospital. Ten hour labour, six of which I managed at home. Gas and air and pethidine. I went from 2 to 10 cm dilated in half an hour, and the rest was plain sailing!

I had my anatomy scan on Friday, and everything is as it should be, Because of my weight, I will have a glucose tolerance test at 28 weeks, and a growth scan at 34 weeks. My consultant said today that she was reccommending me for labour ward delivery, and was VERY surprised when I piped up, saying that ACTUALLY, I was planning a home birth. Her arguments against it are this; 1) my BMI is 35 2) I am currently taking 15mg of Mirtazipine a day for depression and anxiety. Prior to the mp, I was on Sertraline, but severe PND following the birth of DS led to my GP changing it. She is concerned about infant withdrawal, but admits there is little evidence for this, and wants me in hospital where there can be a paediatrician on hand if needs be. I have read that there is a 30% risk of IW, which eases off soon after birth.

Coming off the meds is NOT a possibility at the moment, even gradually. She was very dismissive of my plans, but I expressed concern that I am worried about the return of PND, and feel that as well as a HB being right FOR ME, I feel it will lesson my chances of PND recurring.... does anyone have any experience of infant withdrawal, or birth with a BMI 5? I know no one can force me into hospital, but what ARE the risks?! I feel as though I'm being coralled into a deicsion I'm not happy with, but no one can give me figures on which to base my decision xxxx

 

[madasa]

I'm not sure about the depression aspect of it, but your BMI alone shouldn't be enough to stop you birthing at home.

Have you looked here? https://www.homebirth.org.uk/

Click "Can I have a homebirth if...." and look down the list for the one about size/weight. There are some more links out to other sources that might be helpful.

There is also a booklet called "Am I Allowed?" (AIMS) which might be helpful for you? https://www.aims.org.uk/

There's also some people who have had similar problems with the maternity services in the HBers & Hopefuls sticky thread - you might be able to pick up useful info there?

 

[Bournefree]

^^^I totally agree. I also want to offer my support.
They can't tell you what you can and can not do in labour and birth. You need to write or speak to the head of midwifery. Your BMI is not a barrier to your homebirth... It isn't as though with a BMI of 35, you need call a craine hire compnay just yet! lol. Their worries are about patient handling, and with 2 attendants and your OH.. this shouldn't be a problem if the rarest thing happens and you need to be moved unconscious. Also without evidence of gestational diabetes.. you shouldn't be on the Obstretic ward.. even if you do have GD, it will be dependant on what dregreee it is effecting you and baby.. I had a home birth with diet controlled GD, and it really wasn't a problem at all.. USS were fine and my blood sugars well controlled
... but you haven't even had the test yet and they are trying to enforce an over medicallised care plan for you! Bonkers! Don't let them make you feel that you are abnormal and high-risk, you are not, you are an indivdual, and you deserve to be treated as such.. you don't want to spend your pregnancy under this type of negative care, where all they are trying to do is frighten you. Take things on evidence and make your own decisions.
XxX

 

[oboeverity]

I love the Homebirth website.... such beautiful stories. I'd read that bit about BMI. Thank you so much, both of you for your kind and inspiring words.... I'm never going to put my baby's life in danger, so why am I being made to feel like I am?! xxx

 

[madasa]

Stick to your guns, chick. As far as I am concerned, ANY HCP that is "dismissive" of your concerns should be treated with caution... Gosh darn it, we DESERVE BETTER CARE than that - don't we?!!!

Honestly - if you felt LISTENED to and they discussed it with you properly, it MIGHT be that you end up choosing to go to hosp, you may end up feeling that that is better for you and bubs in this particular situation.... Or not. Ugh. I hate that they just brush you off