Please help me show my mother shes being a bad parent to my teenage sister

[babybug85]

My mum is allowing my 14 year old sister to not only meet random boys from the internet and spend time at their houses (usually 16/17 year old boys) but she has also just agreed to my sister staying the night at a boys house tonight. My sister has met this 17 year old boy only twice (last week) and my mum has met him once for 2 minutes while picking my sister up. She doesnt know him or his family, but shes allowing her to spend the night at his house without even questioning it.

I need to get through to her as I'm really worried about my sister and this is the only thing I can think of before getting other family members involved (which she would hate me for). She got pregnant with me when she was 16 and I really dont want the same thing happening to my sister! I'm thinking about getting her some self-help books on parenting

Please help, I'll show her the replies.

 

[Swift]

Although I agree with you, its a tricky situation. I think however you try to tell her, she will end up taking it badly.

 

[babybug85]

Thanks, but I've already tried talking to her and she just says she can do nothing right. I understand that shes trying to keep my sister happy by letting her do exactly as she likes, but she needs to protect her and shes not doing that.

 

[Jem_x3]

A 14 year old with a 17 year old? Your Mum is being irresponsible. Yes it's nice to let them do what they want so they don't moan/act like they hate you but her daughter's safety should be her priority. There's no way I'd let my 14yo meet boys off the internet and stay at their houses. She has absolutely no idea what their intention is, what they're like, what their family is like. I hate to say it but she could end up hurt or worse. If she really has to let her keep doing it then an adult should be present. Could she not invite this boy round to hers so she can supervise? Even though I think he's a bit old. It's a toughie because noone likes to be told how to parent but your Mother really needs to think about what these two could be getting up to and the consequences

 

[Mummyplus3]

TBH I wouldnt be showing this to your mum i'd be calling in social services, what planet is she on?

Im sure sister will really appreciate it when she gets/raped/STI's/hurt/kidnapped because you mum lacks the ability to be a decent parent.

 

[Kathleen]

oooh noo! Wheres the balance!? my parents were relaxed with me so they respected my judgement but not teenage boys!! There should be freedom but a 14 year old needs to be protected from the unknown!!!

Even if these boys (who are basically strangers if she's met them online) aren't doing anything bad with your sister how do you know what the household is like? What if shes attacked?

At 14 your hormones are through the roof so of course you fancy boys and want to have a boyfriend - doesn't mean you should be able to stay round their houses just because they show interest.... boys of 16/17 shouldn't be sniffing around 14 year olds, makes you wonder if they can't get someone their own age, why not?

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

It's not a thing of distrusting your sister, it's a thing of distrusting the boy! No matter how much I trust Olivia or how good of a kid she is, I would never let her go spend the night at some boys house that she doesn't really know because I wouldn't trust him. And that's how I think you should try bringing it up to your mum. Your sister can be the most trust worthy kid in the world, but Joe Shmoe and his family haven't earned any trust what-so-ever!

 

[Lyndz]

I agree with what others have said, that is being totally irresponsible as a mother. Yes, your sister needs some freedom, but not in the sense of staying over at 16/17 year old boys houses. I would be very concerned for your sister. No matter how trustworthy she maybe, the strangers that she's meeting may not be. My sister is going through the same sort of thing, she's 13, thinks the world is hers and wants to do what she wants when she wants or all hell breaks loose. Difference is, my mum puts her foot down and acts like a mother, yours, unfortunately, doesn't seem to be doing that. If something hapopened to your sister, she would never forgive herself.

 

[midori1999]

Maybe your Mum feels that at least this way she is aware of what your sister is doing and so has some control over the situation? Perhaps you could suggest as an alternative she offers for your sister to have this boy stay over, or maybe that she talks to the boy parents prior to your sister staying there and drops her off etc? She also needs to make sure your sister has access to contraception in case she should need it.

If your Mum bans her from seeing these boys, there is every chance she may rebel and do it behind your Mum's back anyway.