please help my friendx

[Naya69]

i have a friend who is trying for a baby she already has one little boy who is 16 months old but she struggles so much money wise to look after him she thinks if she has another she will get more money ive tryed convincing her she wont but she really wants a girl i just cant see her being able to afford another baby when she goes shoppin its all tesco value stuff which i dont knock half of the time but she struggles just to buy him tesco value nappies at £1.48 a pack hes got terrible nappy rash from them but she cant afford anything else shes getting in debt with her bills and iam so worrided for her because i think of her as my little sis but what i really want to know is how much extra do you get for a second child when your on full benefits just so i can point this out to her xx

anything would be so much help xx

 

[ChloesMummy]

I have no idea how much she will get but i certainly dont think she will be better off. Is there a reason why she isnt working or is she looking for a job? Sounds like that may be the answer to money troubles, earning instead of trying to get by on whatever benefits she may get! x

 

[Naya69]

shes just texted me shes pregnant she doesnt like workin so she will never find a job as much as i love her the way she goes round things are not right her house is always a mess and at the moment she got terrible damp that the council wont fixed she finds mold on her childs clothes and cot its no place to have a child now iam worried x

 

[Mummy&bump]

o jees! its the wee ones tht will suffer eh??

all i kno is tht, u kno how tht child allowance u get cant remember the name of it lol but its like £18 a week here in scotland! well tht lol its less with ur 2nd child than it is ur first! only thing i kno is shel get tht £190 health in pregnancy grant, and £500 maternity grant, but thts the same with a first pregancy! dont see hoe shes going 2 cope personally hun!!

im assumin she has a bf if she pregnant again? doesnt he work or cud he not get a job?

i am really sorry if tht makes no sense i hav serious preggie brain 2day

xxx

 

[ChloesMummy]

Doesnt like work?! Sound like she needs a bit of a kick up the arse! (dont mean to offend) Mould can cause breathing difficulties, asthma, especially in young children. Surely the council have some kind of obligation to get it sorted, maybe she should report again with photographic evidence. Does she live with the father or get any support from him? x

 

[v2007]

£1.50 on nappies Jeez.

She needs to get all this sorted, she has got time to be having sex so then she has got time to go to the Council and get the damp sorted.

Tell her to get a letter from her HV that the damp is effecting her childs chest.

Her son and new baby will be the ones that suffer.

Where is her money actually going, she needs to do a budget and then she needs to got to the CAB and get debt advice.

Im sorry this sounds so blunt but it needs to be said, she is your friend but she needs a kick up the bum, her son is suffering and this new baby may as well.

I was a single Mum on benefits for 4 years and i know how hard it is. My daughter was always put 1st and i always went without to make sure she was looked after.

V xxxx

 

[AppleBlossom]

Is she just having babies so she doesn't have to work??! That's what I got, might be wrong...

 

[Naya69]

i think she wants more kids as well so she doesnt have to work she has a bf but he doesnt work and i dont think he has any money at all cumin in but hes just applyed for job driving buses but thats not for certain he will get it. she has a very big over draft so that swollows her money with the interest. her boyfriend is actually her next door neighbours husband they only got together 3 months ago and the wife only found out at christmas but thats another story lol my friend is still mates with the wife but she is gonna be so upset when she finds out and shes a lovely girl too so i feel bad for her but my mates bf has 3 other kids by three other women and doesnt pay for any of them the whole situation is messed up.

 

[coccyx]

Good grief, how irresponsible. She's fortunate that she lives in a country where we have a benefits system, that she is abusing. Shes lucky to have a friend like you

 

[v2007]

For a start she needs to change her bank account.

Tell her to go to the Nationwide and open a basic bank account (Cashbuilder), this means when she gets her IS and CB etc that she gets it all she hasnt got an overdraft facility so she will never go over drawn.

She is abusing the benefits system by clearly having more kids because she will get more money.

You a very patient and understanding friend but she is not your responsability, and tbh if she was my friend i think i would have washed my hands of her at Christmas.

Even if you gave her advice, would she take it or would she just keep being like this??

V xxx

 

[LucyS]

Sorry but she seems very selfish!

Why bring another baby into an already bad situation and also ruin somebody elses family along the way!

I dont mean to be harsh just feel v.strongly about situations such as this

 

[Jkelmum]

I really dont know how you can be friends with someone like that !
She need a slap of reality whats she gunna do when they are older and wantin more and more ? silly cow
Sorry but i have no sympathy for her and if i was u i would be tellin her to be demandin to council or report them and if she makes no effort i would report her to Social services as this is neglect that poor baby at least the baby in her tummy is safe and warm for now i do hope she grows up xxx

 

[Jkelmum]

Ok my post was a bit harsh lets try and help the women

Firstly she can explain to bennifit people about her bank situation they will stop puttin it in her bank straight away ....they will open her a post office account

Get her to join freecycle for stuff she may need

Her child bennifit will go up by 11 pound (ish) per wk
Her child tax will go up to roughly 101 pound a wk from the 61pound she gets now until youngest is 1 then it will go down a little so yeah from havin another baby she is 50 pound a wk better off not a lot compared to how much a new baby costs ....she will also be allowed maternity grant and healthy eatin grant plus free milk and fruit vouchers

I pray she does get a kick up arse and sumat clicks and she realises she cant live like this xxx

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/default.aspx

 

[Naya69]

i slept at her house last nite the husband told his wife about her being pregant and she was so upset i felt so bad for her. ive told my mate she can have all my old things like the bottles and steriliser and walker and lots of other things but even then she has got a long way to go. i asked about the babys nappy rash and she said the doctor said if was a fungul infection i dont know if its because she doesnt bath him very often maybe once a week i just feel sorry for them she asked me what i thought and i just replied your stupid x

 

[LucyS]

She only baths him once a week and he has a fungal infection? Surely it needs to be reported

 

[Naya69]

shes great with him dont get me wrong she just so sloppy and lazy thats why i think her having another is gonna wreck her she doesnt even like getting up in a morning with tthe little one let alone up all nite then up in a monring its just sad i wish she would of thought more about it x

 

[ChloesMummy]

She def needs reporting, its not fair the child or the one on way!!!!

 

[v2007]

I honestly do feel that you need to put in a call to Social Services, this little boy is not being properley cared for. She is lazy and sloppy and her child is suffering because of this.

V xxx

 

[AppleBlossom]

She shouldn't be planning on having another child if she can't even look after the one she has already got properly. End of. Personally if I knew the things you're saying about someone I knew I would report them to social services. It's all very well that she's your friend but that poor little baby is being neglected and the situation needs to be looked at

 

[honey08]

ive no advise for her really, think u get bout £20 a wk for the first child n £15 ish for the 2nd baby,i think she needs to think bout the bad situation shes in at the moment, how can this next baby possible make it easier
she shud be looking for wrk etc and trying to better her and childs lifes,but £1.58 on nappies come on now !!!
i feel a little sorry for the babies x