Please help! Some advice about FOB being controlling still!

[Katiie]

Hello, I would just like to say I am posting this on behalf of a very close friend, who is desperate for advice, she nos I am posting this on here too.

My friends name is Laura, she has a little girl who's 18 months.
Her EX partners name is Chris.

Laura and Chris were together 6 years and got married in May.
2 weeks after the wedding Chris told Laura he didn't love her anymore and didn't before the wedding.
Laura was heart broken, a mess, so miserable.
Chris left to stay with his mum for a few weeks to "think" about what he wanted.
They dicided to break up and call it a day, but stay friends for the sake of their daughter.
He sees her every Tuesday, Thursday and all day Sunday.
He doesn't pay child support yet.

One month later Laura is coping brilliantly, shes so much happier and has started seeing people with her new found confidence.
She's started dating someone called Alex and has now developed feelings for him.

Chris doesn't like this, even though he himself has started dating someone named Kirsty (who he grew very close to before they broke up and we suspect they had a fling before the wedding), he wants Laura back.
He sends her messages everyday saying how he's sorry and how he still loves her and how he misses her.
He's even suggested them having sex.
She's says no. She's over him, she's better without him.
So he's continuing to see Kirsty.

Now the trouble is, and the thing we need advice on is:

Chris won't let their daughter near Alex.
He threatens with a restraining order and even says he will take their daughter away.
All because Alex has a bad reputation from when he was a teenager (of drugs and voilence). But that was 10 years ago.
Laura believes he has changed and they both want to get a little more serious.
However Chris is sorting stoping her from happiness.

He won't talk to Alex about it either.

He's still controlling her even though they aren't together.
Advice??
What can she do?

 

[Ersurgeongirl]

Well first, you need a valid reason for a restraining order... So I doubt that will happen. Second, idk how it is where they are at but I know my ex can not bring my LO around his new gf... We will be having supervised visits. My ex can see his gf w/o LO 5 days a week, so tough cookies. Can theyncome to an agreement like that? Where they can figure out days where the LO is with the one parent only?

 

[Katiie]

They have that already, well kinda.

He goes round after work, Tuesdays and Thursday's for an hour.
He has her all day Sunday.

She's worried as he has a violent past he will get one x

 

[Ersurgeongirl]

Well she would have to be the violent person in order for the restraining order to be against her...

 

[Kate&Lucas]

How does he stop Alex from seeing the baby? Surely if Laura and Alex want to be together in her home with her daughter there Chris can't stop this?
Restraining orders are just not for this purpose. If Chris were to say that Alex is a danger to the child, the police and social services would be involved. If it did come to that I'm sure they'd find no cause for concern and leave it at that. Alex's past wouldn't come into it.
Laura really needs to put her foot down and stop Chris having any interference in her personal life. Their only relationship now is of co-parents and he has no need to know her business. She should be opening a case with the CSA if he is not making any attempts to pay maintenance.

 

[KayBea]

Tell Chris to poo off & stop being jealous!! thats all it is, jealousy!!

he had hid chance, he missed it. Laura's happy so she needs to put her foot down & tell him to put out!!

he wont get a restraining order unless Alex is a threat to Laura or the baby!!! xxxxx

 

[sophxx]

Some ones past is just tgat there past people who have been to jail for drugs or violence don't loose there kids or have ss involded so he won't get a restraining order. One thing I would advise is tgat you friend places a residency order on tge lo tgrough her solicitor as this means she us tge resident parent. If he ex decided to rake lo and not give get back like hes said the police would not be able to get get back as he gas as much right as tour friend to have lo as there's no residency placed. If they place residency on lo then the police can bring her back.

Her ex was the one to leave the house so he has to live with tge fact she's dating someone. X