Here goes, this may take some reading and may be a little confusing but please i need some impartial advice!
I met my partner April last year and I knew he had a GF and I was with my BF they were both long term relationships. We started growing close and in June we got together and I left my BF, his partner did not live in the same country due to visa problems. We were together for a few weeks when he told me his gf was actually his wife, and he had married her the year before but only so she could come and live in the country and he didnt want to do the wedding but back then it was the only way, he said when he met me in april he knew he had made the biggest mistak of his life. I had already fallen for him hook line and sinker, i was angry but i said toh im i can get over it but you need to sort it out as i am not the sort of person who would of even contemplating going with a married man. He told me he would sort it and that she was flying over as immigration had contacted her to say her visa was ready. She has a son from a previous relationship which he adopted in her country so he could also come and be resident here. They arrived in July and moved into his house, he told her all about me and he was madly in love with me etc, I got quite a few phone calls and nasty text messages etc but thought it will all be over soon, He stayed half with me but also spent some time there as it was not fair on the child which I understood, come October I told him I had had enough and if were to be together he had to leave and move in completely with me which is what he did, from that day he spent every night with me, and all his friends etc knew we were together. About 5 weeks i found out i was pregnant and i told him, he had always wanted to be a dad and he was very unenthusiastic so i started to worry. I had always had my doubts that he still saw his wife as she was still in the country waiting for her sons passport to get done. I confronted him 2 weeks ago about my suspcions and he told me not to put him so low and that he loved me and lived with me what more could he do to show it was over with her, he was just doing the right thing by giving her son a good start to life with a decent passport.
Two days ago i could not bear the anxiety anymore and checcked his phone, there were a few messages on there from a foreign number saying i cannot wait to see you my husband and i miss u like crazy, i shouted at him and at asked who else was stupid enough to think they were his wife, it turns out it was his wife that was meant to be here, she had gone back to her country for a month holiday. I rang her and asked her when the last time they were together were and she wouldnt answer me, i told her i was 3 months pregnant.
She told me she was 6.5 months pregnant. I kicked him out there and then, he left he knew i was angry. I rang her back and i spoke to her for over an hour, i asked her long it had been going on, she said they did split up and she knew we were together but in february she told him she was really lonely and had needs as a woman could he find her a man, that man was him, she said they only had sex twice but she got pregnant. She wanted to have a termination and he took her to dr but the dr that done the scan said she was 9 weeks and he wouldnt take a life like that. My partner told me when he heard the heartbeat he burst into tears,begged her please do not kill my child, have it born in my country so it has a decent chance in life then go back to your contry and i will suppor it. That was the plan up until 6 weeks ago, when me and my partner had an argument and i told him he was the biggest mistake of my life. He started having thoughts and thought he would give it a second shot with hiw wife, i did tell him to leave but he wouldnt, then about a week later i found out i was pregnant and he said he didnt know what to do.
I then spoke to the wife again yesterday and she told me she actually thought we had split up and that he was living with her, i said its not possible as hes here every night, she said he had told her he was sleeping at the office, i asked how often she saw him she said about half hour everyday.
I rang him yesterday too, and said i need the whole truth now i deserve it. He told me yes he had said to her that we had broke up but it was because she wanted to leave and he wanted to make sure her son and his unnborn son both got a passport first, so she said she would only saty if they got back together, which he did, but he said he did only see her 20-30mins day and as sson as he gt there made an excuse to leave. It turns out his mum knew he was married and went to the wedding, but he didnt want me to know from the beginning as he wanted me. His mum knew she was pregnant but not me. She does now as the wife range her and told her. He said he got stuck and didnt know what to do.
I know my head is telling me run a mile and never look back but my heart wont let me. I love this guy so much and I know he loves me too. She has said she is not coming back to this country and hes having nothing to do with the child, i wish i was as strong as her!
What the hell do i do, i know he has duped me for a year, but he said it was because he didnt want me to hurt, i said i could of come to terms with a lot of the things he should of jsut been honest.
Please give me some advice. I was so scared all day yesterday that I would miscarry as I am only 10w4d.
I met my partner April last year and I knew he had a GF and I was with my BF they were both long term relationships. We started growing close and in June we got together and I left my BF, his partner did not live in the same country due to visa problems. We were together for a few weeks when he told me his gf was actually his wife, and he had married her the year before but only so she could come and live in the country and he didnt want to do the wedding but back then it was the only way, he said when he met me in april he knew he had made the biggest mistak of his life. I had already fallen for him hook line and sinker, i was angry but i said toh im i can get over it but you need to sort it out as i am not the sort of person who would of even contemplating going with a married man. He told me he would sort it and that she was flying over as immigration had contacted her to say her visa was ready. She has a son from a previous relationship which he adopted in her country so he could also come and be resident here. They arrived in July and moved into his house, he told her all about me and he was madly in love with me etc, I got quite a few phone calls and nasty text messages etc but thought it will all be over soon, He stayed half with me but also spent some time there as it was not fair on the child which I understood, come October I told him I had had enough and if were to be together he had to leave and move in completely with me which is what he did, from that day he spent every night with me, and all his friends etc knew we were together. About 5 weeks i found out i was pregnant and i told him, he had always wanted to be a dad and he was very unenthusiastic so i started to worry. I had always had my doubts that he still saw his wife as she was still in the country waiting for her sons passport to get done. I confronted him 2 weeks ago about my suspcions and he told me not to put him so low and that he loved me and lived with me what more could he do to show it was over with her, he was just doing the right thing by giving her son a good start to life with a decent passport.
Two days ago i could not bear the anxiety anymore and checcked his phone, there were a few messages on there from a foreign number saying i cannot wait to see you my husband and i miss u like crazy, i shouted at him and at asked who else was stupid enough to think they were his wife, it turns out it was his wife that was meant to be here, she had gone back to her country for a month holiday. I rang her and asked her when the last time they were together were and she wouldnt answer me, i told her i was 3 months pregnant.
She told me she was 6.5 months pregnant. I kicked him out there and then, he left he knew i was angry. I rang her back and i spoke to her for over an hour, i asked her long it had been going on, she said they did split up and she knew we were together but in february she told him she was really lonely and had needs as a woman could he find her a man, that man was him, she said they only had sex twice but she got pregnant. She wanted to have a termination and he took her to dr but the dr that done the scan said she was 9 weeks and he wouldnt take a life like that. My partner told me when he heard the heartbeat he burst into tears,begged her please do not kill my child, have it born in my country so it has a decent chance in life then go back to your contry and i will suppor it. That was the plan up until 6 weeks ago, when me and my partner had an argument and i told him he was the biggest mistake of my life. He started having thoughts and thought he would give it a second shot with hiw wife, i did tell him to leave but he wouldnt, then about a week later i found out i was pregnant and he said he didnt know what to do.
I then spoke to the wife again yesterday and she told me she actually thought we had split up and that he was living with her, i said its not possible as hes here every night, she said he had told her he was sleeping at the office, i asked how often she saw him she said about half hour everyday.
I rang him yesterday too, and said i need the whole truth now i deserve it. He told me yes he had said to her that we had broke up but it was because she wanted to leave and he wanted to make sure her son and his unnborn son both got a passport first, so she said she would only saty if they got back together, which he did, but he said he did only see her 20-30mins day and as sson as he gt there made an excuse to leave. It turns out his mum knew he was married and went to the wedding, but he didnt want me to know from the beginning as he wanted me. His mum knew she was pregnant but not me. She does now as the wife range her and told her. He said he got stuck and didnt know what to do.
I know my head is telling me run a mile and never look back but my heart wont let me. I love this guy so much and I know he loves me too. She has said she is not coming back to this country and hes having nothing to do with the child, i wish i was as strong as her!
What the hell do i do, i know he has duped me for a year, but he said it was because he didnt want me to hurt, i said i could of come to terms with a lot of the things he should of jsut been honest.
Please give me some advice. I was so scared all day yesterday that I would miscarry as I am only 10w4d.
