please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by emiliasmummy, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. emiliasmummy

    emiliasmummy Well-Known Member

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    hi ladies ,
    im new to writing on this forum been abit of thread stalker lol but really hoping you other mummys can help as im at breaking point .

    ok so my baby girl is 5 n half weeks old and her sleeping and feeding habits are terrible from 6pm every night she refuses to be put down and screams when cuddled put in bath played with anything really she fuss's and screams at even her bottle ,she will normally knacker herslef out about 12pm and sleep for til 4am on a good night then from 4am its bottle and nappy change will go to sleep for another hour and then is up for the rest of the day .

    she wont nap during the day only when i take her for a walk for about 2hrs and for the first hour with fuss in her pram .

    we use a dummy and have tried music swaddling u name it i feel like ive tried it she has been like this since she was born .

    with feeding she is also funny ..... sometimes drinking a 6oz bottle then only wanting 2oz every 4hrs .... sometimes i feel like she isnt eating enough so i take to be weighed every week and shes gaining weight perfectly but its such a worry when she hardly drinks some days .

    ive been trying to follow a routine with her since day dot .... bath at 7pm bottle before play after bath so she gets tired but nothing helps .....

    im so passed tired its unbeliveable ,hubby trys to help but he gets to escape to work for 9hrs a day and im with her 24/7 she is so clingy during the day i have to have her strapped to me at all times or be playing with her .

    what am i doing wrong i feel like im the worst mother ever at the min and dont know how to help her .

    sorry this has turned into a kind of rant just would really like a little advise or some similar storys as feel very on my own .

    thanks ladies x
     
  2. minties

    minties Complete

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    Oh wow that sounds horrible! Have you had her checked out medically? She may have reflux which is very painful, or colic maybe?

    I remember that Thomas was so hard to get to sleep at that age. I spent hours rocking him in his pram or my arms only to have him wake up the second I stopped. I used to cry so much from being exhausted all the time.

    How long is she awake before you try to get her to nap?

    I also would cut out the play after the bath and before bed. At her age she doesn't really need "play" anyway and it's probably overstimulating her and making her so tired that she can't shut down and relax to sleep.
     
  3. xnewxmummyx

    xnewxmummyx Mummy, Daddy and Isobelle

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    What I am about to say may make you scream ... lol .... it DOES get better!!

    Isobelle was exactly the same, and still can be. I would pray for MIL or OH to get home to take the screaming wriggly fussy mardy clingy little madam off me lol!! It got worse in the early evening and all 3 of us would be getting frustrated and we had to shout to talk over the noise and then it would result in me and OH arguing because its such a horrible noise. And as she is my 1st so none of us knew what to do.

    The only thing she didnt do is fuss over the bottle because she is such a greedy monster lol. But I would try taking her for walks, she would scream and make people stare at me, try taking her in the car, she would still scream but eventually settled, util the car stopped.

    To this day I have never figured out what was wrong but now she is a bit older its easier to play and pacify her.

    Hope I helped a tad hun, maybe not. Take her docs though to be tested for reflux. Colic cant really be diagnosed, my doc said thats just something "mothers" diagnose and treat off the counter and sometimes remedies either work or they dont, you have to "sit it out" but reflux can be treated.

    xx
     
  4. whoops

    whoops Just me and my LO

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    You poor thing, that sounds awful - how much sleep is she getting every day? She sounds completely overtired.

    When my LO was that age, she could last an hour to an hour and a half awake before needing to nap again - could you try forgetting about the bedtime routine for the moment and just putting her down after about that much time awake? If she sleeps while being walked in the pram, maybe try doing that at every nap just for a couple of days to get her into a habit. Does she nap on you either?

    The only 'routine' I had at that age was a basic eat, activity, sleep one - and the activity could be something as simple as changing her nappy after a bottle.

    Also, at that age, I wouldn't focus too much on playing with her - you might find that she gets overstimulated very quickly which makes her worse.
     
  5. sapphire1

    sapphire1 Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: I agree with minties, get her checked out by a doctor to rule out a medical cause. Holly was very much like that when she was that age, and it turned out to be silent reflux and a cow's milk protein intolerance. Reflux in particular makes babies very unsettled and affects their eating habits. Maybe google the symptoms to see if she has any. Also, remember that babies that young aren't able to stay awake for very long and don't really need to be entertained. If she is overstimulated she will find it really hard to sleep, even if she is exhausted. I also found that routine didn't work at such a young age, it's best to feed on demand and follow your baby's cues. x x :hugs:
     
  6. Rose_bud

    Rose_bud Well-Known Member

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    I don't really have any advice. Just want to say it will get better, it probably doesn't seem like it now but it will. Hope someone else can help!
     
  7. happilyhappy

    happilyhappy Well-Known Member

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    fist of all :hugs::hugs::hugs:

    You aren't doing anything wrong and you are a great mum, otherwise you wouldn't be posting on here:thumbup:

    I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have found these last 8 weeks since Jasper was born so hard. He also cries alot, hates to be put down and up until this week he would only sleep at night for 2 -3 hours at a time some nights waking every hour. In the day he will fall asleep on me and then scream when I try to put him down no matter how asleep he is :dohh:

    He also can be fussy with his bottle, some days he will take his whole bottle fine other days he will only drink 2oz and want feeding every few hours or like yesterday he drank 1oz had a rest then wanted it again 15 mins later and only drank another oz. It's so tiring and when he's being fussy, which is pretty much every day and I get so frustrated with him and me.

    Last night he screamed from 7pm-9pm constantly and nothing I did calmed him down. I don't have much advise I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and you are doing a fantastic job :hugs:

    The only thing I would say is that I have given up with a routine and just let Jasper dictate what he wants, I find this does help as I am not worried about where we are with the routine and getting even more upset when it all goes wrong. Also we can't give Jasper a bath in the evenings as although he enjoys it when we take him out he gets himself all worked up and this leads to hours of crying :shrug: so now we bath in the mornings and in the evenings just put him in his pjs and let him get sleepy when he wants which seems to work better for us :thumbup: Might be worth a try.

    Just try and remember they are still so little and lots of the time they just want to be with us and are crying for no other reason than that. There is no such thing as spoiling them so pick you lo up and carry them as much as you want, although tiring it won't have any detrimental affect on them or mean they won't be put down later on.

    Don't be too hard on yourself these first few weeks are tough xx
     
  8. Mizze

    Mizze Well-Known Member

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    Hon you are NOT A BAD MUM - repeat! None of the little blighters come with a manual. I second getting her checked out - I swore by Colief to help with colic in the evenings. It took me weeks to realise partly her crying was because she was so tired in the evenings as i wasnt putting her down till far too late :dohh:.

    Each baby is different and some (like my DH) wont be put down. Its not about fault hon.

    I also agree about no play after her bath - she will be tired by that point anyway - play might well be overstimulating her.

    If she is putting on weight dont worry about the feeding. xx :kiss:

    Mizze xx
     
  9. clarsair

    clarsair Well-Known Member

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    I'd agree with the above comment about playtime - at that age just lying staring at the wallpaper is entertainment enough. Have you tried a swing? Some swear by them. I used to give half the bottle before bathtime then the rest after to help calm LO down, maybe that would help? Please try not to worry about the feeding, I know it's hard but she is gaining weight at that's great.

    And routines are going to be out the window for now. I tried and tried but there was no predictability at all with feeding and sleeping times for LO and it stressed me out no end. I promise it will happen in time.
     
  10. mumoffive

    mumoffive Well-Known Member

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    My ds was a very unsettled baby. Have you tried to change the milk you use? Aptimil easy digest or comfort really had a positive impact on my ds. I agree, it could be reflux or something medical. I would get her checked out just to rule it out.
    I have used the EASY routine [ not religiously] with all my babies. That is Eat, Activity, Sleep

    Eat - Babies most importantly will need to eat. Take a look at Hogg's Feeding Guide for an idea of how much to feed at each stage.

    Activity - After eating, it's best to encourage baby to have a little bit of activity before falling asleep. This may be especially hard to do for the super noobie babies, but as they hit the 1-month mark, it'll be easier to keep them awake for a short time before napping. Activities for newborns can be as basic as cooing, staring at a toy or visitors, diaper changes, or bath. No need to overdo it.

    Sleep - Sleep helps baby grow and develop. Naps can range from 20 minutes to 2 hours (after the first few months). Good naps during the day help baby sleep better at night. Protect those precious naps and pray you don't have horrid Nap Town mishaps like me!!

    Your Time - After baby is asleep, you get precious time to do whatever you want. Wash dishes. Laundry. Slyly push old take-out boxes under the couch. Clean kitty's litter box (finally). Shower. Eat.

    Sounds like you are doing that but maybe alter the times. I agree that after a bath, it may be overstimulating her..so maybe before the bath and after the feed?
     
  11. emiliasmummy

    emiliasmummy Well-Known Member

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    thanks so much ladies honestly its just good to have some one understand a little .....

    ill give a little break down of her day maybe it might give a bit more insight n u guys could help

    5.30am - awake ,nappie change ,bottle normally about 4oz then i carry her around doin house work .

    10am - 3oz bottle nappy changed and i will get her play mat out for baby message as find this settles her .

    2pm- bottle if she wants sometimes she just point blank refuses and then a walk. nappy change

    5pm - hubby home i make dinner whyll he has cuddles again may or maynot have bottle .

    7pm - bottle normally about 5oz and bath ,i then do cuddles in my rocking chair and put on calm music in the hope she'll get tired

    from then on i keep tryin to get her down to bed

    12pm - a 2oz bottle and will sleep til 4ish and then the whole day starts again .

    these are just rough times varys either side but like i say she doesnt nap ive tried pram ,rocking chair she doesnt even nap when shes on me she basically lives on 4hrs sleep give or take every day ..... shes been like this from day she was born .

    when she was born she could lift her head up for 10secs midwifes commented she was a little advanced for a newborn .so since she a wake all day she gets bored so thats why im finding im having to play with her so she gets some simulant otherwise she starts screaming ,ive bought toys but she will only stay intrested for about 45mins .

    im just so confused everything ive read is like "babies sleep 10-16hrs a day" dont need entertaining ect ....

    when i spoke to health vistor her helpful adivse was "well she's guna be a hand full when she's walking" thanks lol

    for night times shes got black out blinds in our room so its real dark and i try not to go to her soon as she crys ... but when she does cry its like shes in horrible pain that i cant bear to leave her more than 5mins .

    i guess i just feel like i dont have any one to talk to really its my first baba and im 24 so none of my friends have babies and the older friends i have have older kids and cant offer much advise .

    i get so worried over her with her lack of sleep and not drinking regular amounts but i guess she is still only little {well if u call 12lb 1oz little for a 5 week old lol} just really wish i could see light at the end of the tunnel .... plus i feel like im missing out on all the baby bit with her cause im so tired .

    thanks again ladies ya advise was really nice n very much appristiated xxx
     
  12. mumoffive

    mumoffive Well-Known Member

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    will she not settle in a swing? a vibrating bouncer is fab and i couldnt have done without it. all my babies napped on that as it lulled them to sleep. x
     
  13. Louppey

    Louppey Mummy to 2 girls <3

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    I would try a swing in the day to try and get her to sleep. It sounds like she's not napping enough so she is overtired and therefore will be a nightmare to get to go to sleep.

    Try to get her napping better in the day and the nighttime sleeping will follow.

    I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but I promise it really does get easier :hugs:
     
  14. emiliasmummy

    emiliasmummy Well-Known Member

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    lol shes in her vibrating bouncer as i type just looking around the room and making baby chatter showing no signs of sleep .... its nice and sunny today so shes even more active cause theres more to see x
     
  15. emiliasmummy

    emiliasmummy Well-Known Member

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    in regards to napping how do u all do it i.e does your lo's have a certain way theyll only go down for a nap ?

    ive tried our room nice n dark her pram ,her swinger n bouncer ,ive even tired getting her in my bed naughty i know she just seems way to intrested in whats going on in the world to sleep x
     
  16. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    :hugs: oh sweetie you are not a bad mum, i think we've all felt like this from time to time, and the first few months are always particularly difficult.
    it's been a little while (seems ages!) since our daughter was so new born, but from reading your posts these are the things i thought perhaps you could try;
    1. Def. a swing, even if you get a cheap second hand one in case she doesn't like it.
    2. Explore the does she have colic route? is she pooing ok? I'd try infacol with each bottle and keep going with it. if your not using anti colic bottles i'd try some if i'm honest. our daughter didn't overly struggle to bring her wind up, but i was always aware of it for her, so for us, infacol and anti colic bottles, def a must.
    3. do you have a wrap? or a carrier? there's so amazing advice in the natural parenting section, you said you carry her around doing housework, so you might have one already, but i might give you a few hands few.
    4. i'd think about trying to pop her down every so often in say her cot or crib with her mobile and the music, keep trying throughout the day, just for a few min's, she might hate it, but she might start enjoying it so she can begin to relax and you might get some time off.
    5. i think she will start to sleep more, but i'd try the swaddle, rock and shhhhh technique - so cradle her, rock her and shhh her when you swaddle. if your happy to, keep trying with the dummy, i found they prefer them as they get bigger.

    lastly, we're all here for a good rant!
    :hugs:xxx
    xxxx
     
  17. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    i'd pop her in her basket/crib/cot in your room. make it really dark for nap time, make sure she's had her bottle, clean bum etc, could try swaddling too and pop her dummy in. you may find she learns to self settle :hugs: xx
     
  18. oliviarose

    oliviarose Well-Known Member

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    Have you had her tested for refux? Could she maybe have wind? Have you tried infacol?

    At your LOs age I think they should be awake for around an hour or 90 mins before they need a sleep. Do you use a baby carrier? She does sound like she is very overtired.

    I would suggest swaddling, but you say you have already tried that. Have a look on you tube at different swaddling techniques. There might be a way to swaddle her that she might like.

    I dont know if it is something you would consider, but if she likes to sleep with you, maybe try co sleeping?
     
  19. emiliasmummy

    emiliasmummy Well-Known Member

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    i think ill give that infocol a whirl n anticol teets ,havent tried them so maybe that might be it lol ..... i guess its still early days but u just cant help but feel like your doing something wrong just want her to be a little more settled n get me me a few hours sleep before i turn into the living dead xx
     
  20. emiliasmummy

    emiliasmummy Well-Known Member

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    oliviarose - ive heard about co-sleeping but dont really feel safe doin it would be so frightened i roll over and squash her .... do u do it ?

    im off to the shops now for this infocol fingers crossed it works :)
     

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