please help

[cassieh]

hello before i ask my question i'd like to give you an idea of whats going on...
in april of this year i stopped getting my and for the next 4 months i went for a test every week and always got . i asked my doctor to send me for an ultrasound several times because i thought i was either pregnant or something was very wrong. but i knew in my heart that i was pregnant! on july 25th i finally got a !!! but my hormones were really low (125!) so my doctor didn't think that she say i was pregnant. i knew i had been pregnant all the time but was told to go for another blood test on august 1st (one week after the last one) on august first i started having very bad pains and thought it would be better to go to the hospital instead of the lab. (they would also be able to give me the results that day!) the doctors there sent me for blood work and an ultra sound and then i was given horrible news. my pregnancy was ectopic. i had to wait for an available O.R. which didn't come until late the next evening so my boyfriend and i waited in the E.R. for 2 days.
it was a very hard few weeks after for both of us. we sent the baby stuff to my mums so we didn't have to look at it.
i really want to try again right away but dan is very scared it's going to happen again and thinks it's best to wait a long while. (5 years!)
i know we both want to try again (every time he see's a baby or a pregnant woman he points her out to me) i just don't know how to explain to dan that there's no reason to be scared and if it happens again i'll have better care this time (i got a new doctor!)
any pointers? has something like this happened to any of you?
thanks!
love cassie

 

[liliellesmum]

so sorry to hear about your loss, my story is a bit different but basically I miscarried in November at 6 weeks, dh and i were shattered as we really wanted #2 (i have a nine month old already) I was scared to try again but look at it like this- if you don't keep trying you'll never get the end result - a beautiful and precious baby, you have to focus on the postives and treat every pregnancy as a new one, I was due for on Saturday which hasnt come so i did 2 tests yesterday and got a on both! (I did a test 2 weeks after the miscarriage and got a so i know its not leftovers from the last pregnancy. I even felt sick yesterday and today which unpleasant as it is, is oh so reassuring, so now while i am scared and will never forget the baby we lost, i am staying postitive and can't wait to meet this little bundle in 8 months!!

 

[JASMAK]

First of all, I would like to start out by saying that I am very sorry for your loss. I can understand apprehension in TTC again. I have m/c three times in a row, and I am scared to go through it all over again. But, you have had one miscarriage. I am not trying to minimize what you went through, but, your chances of conceiving and carrying a baby to term are high!!! 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Since you had an ectopic, I would advice testing to find out why. It is very rare that a woman has an ectopic without an underlying cause (scar tissue, etc). Then, if there is something that can be fixed, you can have that done first. This would probably alleviate some fears and concerns with not only you, but your SO as well.

 

[susan_1981]

I don't really know much about ectopic pregnancies but I did have a friend that had one. She thought she wouldn't be able to have children after that but she now has a little girl so stay hopeful for next time. Maybe your b/f will change his mind in a little while. It's probably all a little to soon for him but I hope you both get through it x