Please i need advice but please dont judge me

[boostaffa]

Hi all i need some advice. I dont want to be judged just your opinions please.
I am a single mum as of a couple of months, i went to a festival with my sister and her group of friends including 1 guy i will call Q he is a close friend of my sister and her partner. This guy Q is in a relationship and has 2 young children but from what everyone has said hes only with his partner because of the kids. Anyway we spent a while dancing that evening nothing more as just my sister was there but it was close dancing and kissed my neck and after he told my sister he likes me and im beautiful etc.
2 nights later at the festival we saw each other and the attraction was there again we went of on our own and spent an hour dancing and kissing. It was like nothing iv felt before, He told me how much he liked me but its so complicated his side but wishes it wasnt. We left it that he would try and come round to visit my sis and her partner so we can get to know each other. And after a long goodbye he had to go back to his gf. Anyway 3 weeks later
I bumped into him, his gf and kids today whilst shopping with my sister and son and there planning on coming round to our place to see my sister her partner and our kids can all play (me and my son live here too) it was so awkward to see him with his lovely kids and partner but truthfully im completley in love with him i think about our time together all the time. What do i do? Please i need advice good and bad i just hate feeling like this.

 

[Becky61]

Hi,
Firstly I definitely wont judge.
Secondly, I don't really know what to say. I just didn't want to read and run.
No one can tell you what to do, it sounds a tricky situation, and the small amount of info you give is hard to comment on.
From what you say, it doesn't sound like he will leave his family? And if he did, and you and him embarked on a relationship, would you trust him? Knowing he cheated on his girlfriend to be with you?
It sounds an awkward one having him, his current partner and their kids over to visit? How do you feel you will cope with their visit?
Do you text and call each other? Or have you had no contact since the festival?
I don't mean to sound so negative, really I don't, I don't know what to say really, just thought I would give you some things to think about from an outsiders point of view.
x

 

[babycrazy1706]

No judging from me either.
Maybe keep out the way that day in order to avoid feeling hurt seeing them all together? Perhaps go out for the day with your son? Xx

 

[moomin_troll]

i certainly wont judge. i dtd with someone i really liked who had a gf, not my finest moment.

I'm thinking this is lust not love. Very easily mixed up.
If he's not willing to leave her cuz he's not happy I'd stay away, not matter how much that would hurt. It's better now then later when he still won't leave her :/

 

[Mummy1995]

Definitely agree!! ^ x

 

[Dream.dream]

I would personally stay away . Regardless of the kids or what's keeping him there him being with her and kissing you is him cheating and if hell Cheat for your chance are he will cheat on you And you don't want that in your life .

I'd let him know you can't see him if he's still with his girlfriend , plus you really don't want any relationship you might have in the future tai te by you being seen as the other woman

 

[dudettex]

I'm not judging but I honestly think you should forget about it. He has kids involved and betraying their mother which will hurt the kids in the long run too. I would know my dad cheated on my mom and it hurt us all. If he can do that to his kids and the mother of his child, he could definately do it to you too. A relationship is meant to be only 2 people not 3. Tell him to either leave his gf or move on.. Just put yourself in her shoes too! xx

 

[Dezireey]

I am a strong believer that if two people are madly in love, eventually they will each find a way to be together and in a good way. i.e if both or one is with a partner or has commitments, they leave that person amicably first before embarking on a relationship with anyone. Cheating is just a no no and its sadly too convenient for men ( and women of course) to cheat on their wives and have a bit on the side. This man is going to hurt you sweetie if he wishes to get intimately involved with you and stay married to his wife. Your best bet is to lay down the law with him, be honest, tell him you like him but that the day you both get together is the day that he is single and available, until then you can be friends and no more. Its the only way to save heartache.

 

[boostaffa]

Thank u all so much for your kind advice it really has helped just one other thing to overcome i am hoping to move with my son to a small perfect village only problem is its 5 mins from his brothers house where he visits alot. Would my life be easier to turn down the house or go for it as its perfect for me and my wee boy and if i see him just deal with it? Thank you x

 

[moomin_troll]

Personally I'd say don't let him being near ruin ur chanced for ur own home.
I live in a small town and see lads that hurts me, I hurt them or I just never want to see again a lot lol and I deal with it.
U will be fine, u deserve more then being the other woman

 

[Dezireey]

No, you shouldn't let him affect where you move house, if that house is a good decision for you and your child, go for it.

He is the one who needs to behave more appropriately around you, you already appear to be putting the brakes on, he needs to show equal restraint, if not more as you are vulnerable right now.

 

[Becky61]

Hi,
As others have said, dont turn down yours and your sons new home, it can still be a fresh start.
It sounds like he is very involved with your sisters family, just make sure you dont get tempted to ask her about him etc. And of course, stay away from his brothers house, he can be visiting his brother every day, but that doesnt need to disrupt your life.
Stay strong, this man sounds like he will only break your heart.
X