Please, I need as much input as possible... How Do You Survive??

[LilDreamy]

Hi guys...

A little about myself... I'm currently in the U.S. Military and getting out within the next 2 months, 2 months before my second baby is born. And will be going to live with my mom for a little... She doesn't support herself either and is living with my dying grandmother.. :/

I'm not technically single yet... But I might as well be, because I'm living in a fairytale. And every other day reality slaps me in the face. I've been with someone for 5 years, from day one he promised marriage, he has cheated on me three times that I know of, has put his hands around my throat twice and slapped me twice that have left marks, and I found out he had 3 other children from 3 other women when I was 6 months Preggo with number one. After us being together 3 years. Long story short... I left him for a little bit, and some how managed to get back together and we tried for baby number two after he proposed to me with a ring... I thought it was for sure we would get married... That was 10 months ago... No date set and every time I bring it up he gets mad and says stop worrying... Baby is due in four months, I'm losing my job in 2 months, and we will be on the opposite sides of the country... My question is...

How do you survive single??

How is your income or how do you make money for you and your baby or babies??? Do you live with family? Do you get some kind of assistance??

In the states... They don't help single mothers who are on the streets... (which I feel that's where we are headed. )

With a newborn and toddler, what do I do??? I know my mom cam support me for a little bit while there is a newborn... But after three months... I have to do something! What job do you have? How much(if I may ask) do you make a month? Is it enough to support you and child? Do you have any school? (I don't)

Here are the only assistance I will have....
I will get WIC, which will help me for cereal, fruit, veg, formula, and eggs.
Since I was in the military, if I go full time to college, they will give me $2,000 a month for three years. (but I still have to pay for childcare).
And I will have free medical and dental for me and little one for 6 months after I get out, and then switch to Medicaid,,, which will help with future medical problems. What should I do? What jobs pay well without college???

Thank you, and please help!

Thank you for any and ALL advice!

I'm shattered and scared to death of my babies futures. I feel like I'm failing them, they deserve a great life!

 

[teal]

You're not failing them

I'm so sorry you're going through a hard time just now.

I'm going to be useless about your options because I'm in the UK. If you can afford to go to college could your mum help out with childcare? xx

 

[Terukki]

You should never get back together with your ex specially if he has been violent towards you. I just got out of a abusive relationship and I'm pregnant. I'm also on wic and its does help some. Could you find find a way to pay for the childcare? I think its a good idea to go to school if you can. I live with my parents and I just got a job at Walmart. So I have some of that as income for me but I'm also looking for another job so I can try to support myself and get a place of my own.

 

[Laura2919]

I'm also in UK so with regards to money/finances its different.

I get by ok, more than ok actually. He was the most unhelpful person in the world when we were together and now he is doubly unhelpful

You make it work as best you can. The girls are in nursery so I take them and I pick them up, they do swimming on a wednesday and they spend every other weekend with their dad and his gf. I have the other weekends and I try to give them all they need. I have a great family and the support is amazing. I'm very lucky!

 

[LilDreamy]

Thank you for the responses ladies.

You're right, I have to make it work some way some how. nothing good ever comes easy.

And thanks Terruki it's good to have a supporting family!

@Teal, I'm sure my mom MIGHT be able to help a little with childcare... It's just my mom is Ill and on disability trying to care for my grandmother who is dying from Alzeihmers and can't remember anything really.. And asking her to watch a New Born and a Toddler who she can't pick up will be very rough. that's three people's diapers she'll have to change. Just hate the thought of asking her for help.. But maybe once I get back home, I can find a friend who is a SAHM or possibly my brothers fiance... But I don't really know her so well.

Thank you all again!

 

[babytime1992]

What a tough situation...Stay strong for your children and props to you for leaving an abusive situation.

If I were you, I would live with my mom as long as possible, and stay at home with the kids while doing college online.Community colleges offer SO much online that I really think you should look into it, you can do your classes while the children sleep or are playing etc. That would be a great headstart on your education.

You also should go apply for the childcare assistance. There will be a waitlist, the one in MD is currently 19 months, that's why you need to do this right away.

As much as it sucks, I would also claim unemployment until you are through with school. There is no job that you can get without a college degree that will even be worth it with 2 kids in dayccare. My friend does this, gets unemployment while staying home doing college online and taking care of her son, and it works for her.

Keep your head up, there is gov't assistance and although it is not as great as over in the UK, you can make it work! Good luck to you!

 

[babytime1992]

Also, you can apply for Section 8 housing, you will be considered high priority because of you're children. After re-reading your post, DEFINITELY go to college full time online because that 2,000 a month will be fabulous. There are also night classes options once your new baby is older and sleeping thru the night. You can so do this!