Please - Need some advice

[aBaby2Love]

Hi Ladies!

To make a long story short...

I have been TTC child #1 for over 10 years with no luck. I have seen 3 fertility specialist since 2009 who have all said the same thing..."You are too old and your FSH is too high... You have almost no chance of having a baby without donor egg and IVF". I have tried clomid and IUI's but have been unable to afford IVF. I am finally at the point that I would gladly do donor egg and IVF if I could afford it and if I had a good support system. I am 43 years old, single, tired of waiting for Mr. Right to come along, but desperately want a child before I'm too old to enjoy it.

I am now 9 days past when AF should have arrived. 4 days before AF was due to start I had a short VERY light 2.5 day long AF type bleed. AF is usually 4-5 days long, very heavy, with lots of clots (sorry TMI). After it stopped I still had pre AF type cramping, sore bbs, lower back pain, headaches, mood swings, constipated, and post O temps. Last night I was very crampy, bloated, and not feeling too well. Today my temp was close to my cover line, but still no sign of AF, bbs are not quite as sore as the last few days but still tender none the less, still having off and on light cramps. I wish I knew what is going on.

At 7 days late I finally got around to testing - BFN . And now with my body acting all screwy I can't even plan to try again in DEC and JAN. My sperm donor (a close friend who also really wants a child) will be going home for 3 weeks at Christmas and I will be unable to join him this year. So if AF does not show up after a week he will not be here when the time is right.


I have been ttc #1 for over 10 years and at 43 years old my ttc time is running out and now my body does this to me.

What are the chances the test was a false negative? What else might be the issue. Any and all thought will be greatly welcomed!!!

 

[POASFiend]

You will get a million and one answers as to what it could be. Could be a false neg, could be a normal variation in your body or could be the last thing in the world that you will ever want to hear and that is at 43 you may start experiencing perimenopausal symptoms.

These variations in our systems can be near impossible to diagnose. It's always a retrospective type thing. In other words time and patience will give you all your answers and then you'll say "oh it's quite obvious that it happened because_____" It's hard to see things until they develop enough to be blatantly obvious.

You need to go about your business as usual, as if you aren't experiencing these symptoms and whatever comes of it comes of it. You can only control what you can control (your actions).

Sorry, I know time and patience is the last thing you want to hear. I can only imgaine how frustrated and worried this makes you. I hope you can engage in things to take your mind off of it for a bit. Uncertainty definitely BITES.

 

[dachsundmom]

I totally agree.

 

[aBaby2Love]

Thank you for the reply. I know you are right in what you say, but sadly it doesn't make it any easier. This type of wait is twice as bad as the 2ww in my opinion!! At the end of the 2ww you are supposed to have an answer one way or another. Not twice as many questions and twice as much stress.

I have been totally worthless at work all week. Hopefully the busy weekend I have planned will distract me as well as give me some answers.

 

[dachsundmom]

Can you get a blood test to at least rule in/out pregnancy?

 

[POASFiend]

That's a good idea.

 

[aBaby2Love]

If AF still has not shown by Monday I plan to take another at home test as well as call and make an apt for a blood test. This not knowing is driving me crazy!!!

 

[aBaby2Love]

Grasping at straws....

So how often do people get BFN's after a late AF and then find out that they are indeed pregnant?? Has this happened to anyone you know????

 

[POASFiend]

It happens all the time. For many reasons. Different sensitivity of tests, ovulating later than you thought, HCG does not always rise at the same rate. Or sometimes you can even get a dud of a test. They are pretty darn well reliable though.
Here's a link for you:

https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/results-by-day-past-ovulation.php

 

[dachsundmom]

Could we see your chart?

 

[Mellybelle]

If you hadnt mentioned the post ov temps, i'd have assumed it was an annov cycle and your body didnt get a chance to build up much of a lining, therefore giving you a light AF.

 

[aBaby2Love]

I would send my chart but regretfully I quit updating my chart about 1.5 years ago. I found myself obsessing over it and making myself more stressed out. Lately I have just been taking my temp once or twice a few days after AF to see what it is and then again after I think I have O'd to look for a temp rise/change. After temping for 9 years I was pretty consistent on my temp changes and O dates. I usually O'd around CD 11 and had a 26 day cycle. Right now I'm really wishing that I still had my FF chart going - to record all the dates of what has occurred and get their opinion of my chances of being pregnant.

 

[dachsundmom]

 

[aBaby2Love]

dachsundmom - I just love your flashing Merry Christmas!!

 

[dachsundmom]

Thanks!

 

[aBaby2Love]

.....and your little red and black deer is absolutely adorable too.

 

[dachsundmom]

Is that your horse in your avatar?

 

[aBaby2Love]

Yes ~ She is the favorite of my many farm children.

2 horse children ages 4 and 7
1 dog child 2 years old
1 cat child 7 years old
and...
20 feathered children (chickens)

Have to make due where you can sometimes - LOL

 

[dachsundmom]

 

[POASFiend]

Yes ~ She is the favorite of my many farm children.

2 horse children ages 4 and 7
1 dog child 2 years old
1 cat child 7 years old
and...
20 feathered children (chickens)

Have to make due where you can sometimes - LOL

I'm jealous. I would love a horse and almost bought one a couple of years ago. Then I had a bad spill and had a buldging disk and after that a broken tailbone. Haven't been back to riding since. I have 2 dogs and want chickens but live in the city. I do have about 30,000 daughters right now and am the mother of some queens (I keep bees).