Please reassure me

[gorgeousmumof]

I have always been pro breastfeeding... for ME as a mum. So when I had my first I managed to breast feed for 3 months and had to change him to formula because he had terrible colic. And putting him on formula fixed this.

My son is now 20 months old and completely healthy, is very rarely ill and has nothing like ashtma or ezcema (sp?).

I am now 18 weeks pregnant and am now a single mum, but the dad wants to be involved. He has our son 2 nights a week and wants to see the baby as much as he can.

Theres a chance I may have to have another section... so I am really struggling with the breastfeeding option as I will get barely any sleep... no one will be able to help the times they are here so I can do things like take a nap, spent time with my oldest son, cleaning etc.

I won't be able to leave the house for months as I am not happy breast feeding in public.

I really want to formula feed... but I cannot get rid of the guilt I am feeling.

So.. I guess the reason for my post is... what are your reasons for formula feeding.. and will you be formula feeding straight from birth?

Also have you other children who you formula fed and are they fit and healthy? Also how will you manage the night feeds and when you go out, will you make them fresh and warm them or another way?

Please do not take this in any way that I am against bottle feeding etc. I am simply asking for advice on formula feeding, thanks.

Oh and also are all formulas the same or are some better than others?

 

[PregnantKez]

Hi hun, I always think that when it comes to the breastfeeding vs. formula feeding thing that you should do whatever's best for you and the baby. Of course breastfeeding is best we all know that but there is nothing wrong with formula feeding.

Personally the reason I decided to formula feed was when I was in hospital, I felt really traumatised after the birth (forceps and he was 10lb 7oz :s) was in a lot of pain that night from the midwives mauling my breasts trying to get my milk through, and pain from the birth. That night I gave Kyle to the midwives and didn't want him back for the whole night, couldn't even look at him properly or think about it. Then in the cubicle next to me in the night I heard this woman formula feeding and chatting to the midwife about it, she sounded so relaxed and happy and I just thought - "YES, thats for me".

I did end up breastfeeding and formula feeding him for about 6 weeks, but it stressed me to the max making the time for everything and stressing about him getting enough from me, I ended up crying so much about it, then I thought well he seems fine on formula and he's had 6 weeks of it so I'll try and put my guilt aside and have some fun with him! It's more important I think

I don't have any advice for older children as he's my first

Good luck with everything

 

[OmarsMum]

I decided to ff after my traumatic emergency CS. I was v, tired & emotional, & didnt have much milk to feed my baby who couldnt latch on & ended up with v. high jaundice. I tried to express but with no success. I bf only for 8 hrs.

Omar is almost 4mnths old, & he's doing great.

 

[blahblahblah]

Well I have one son, 3 nephews, one niece and one imminently due. So that's 6 babies, and of those

3 attempted BF, one failed from the start, we failed at day 4, and another failed at 3 weeks.
3 were (or will be) FF from the start.

All are as happy and as healthy as any babies I see. I feel bad for using the word 'failed', but there isn't really another that fits.

There's no need to feel guilty, you have to do what's right for you. If you're happy, baby will be happy too.

 

[hattiehippo]

I fully intended to breastfeed Tom but he wasn't at all interested in trying to latch on and I had problems with flat nipples and my milk being very slow to come out. After 3 days of trying and trying with midwifes pulling my boobs around, him screaming everytime and me dreading more and more when he would want feeding, I asked for a bottle of formula (was in hospital for 4 days after the birth). It was by far the best decision I could have made as I think continuing to try would have really damaged my bond with Tom, it was stressing me and him that much.

He's nearly 3 months old now and is doing brilliantly. I do wish it had worked out differently and I would try again if I have another baby but you've got to go with what is best for you and your baby at that point in time.

 

[Mynx]

I fully intended on BF too but when Evie was born, she seemed to have problems staying latched on and was constantly falling asleep on the breast, which meant she was stuck to my boobs pretty much all the time! I had SPD during my pregnancy which got worse after a shoulder dystocia delivery and sitting down for any length of time was agony so after 2 weeks, I decided to call it quits (I'd be sat on the sofa, tears streaming down my face because I was in so much pain with my pelvis and my hip) and go onto FF. I'd been combination feeding for a few days already and we used Aptamil as I'd read some really good reviews on it, saying it was the closest thing to breastmilk and there was less chance of it causing constipation like some of the other milks can do. SMA used to give my first born terrible constipation when she was a baby so I was keen to stay away from that.

Dont feel guilty hun about not breastfeeding. I know it's easier said than done, but then so is BF! I was beating myself up about it constantly when Evie went onto formula but looking at her, I saw she was happier, thriving and just generally a different baby compared to before. That's when I knew I'd done the right thing. 3 months on and she weighs over 15lb Not bad considering she was 7lb 2 when born

 

[Vickie]

I FF Hannah from birth. It felt right for us and it is my belief happy mom equals happy baby.

As far as I can tell she's as healthy, happy etc. as can be and is right on par with her age group for words etc. and a bit ahead physically She has been sick a few times but nothing overly serious. Two of the times it was a minor cold, the third time she and I both caught the flu (this past Christmas actually).

As for feeds we made 24 hours worth of feeds up every evening and stored them in the refrigerator. When we were out and about most times we used ready made formula as it was much simpler that way!

Some babies do better with certain formulas than others. If you decide to FF I would only pick enough milk for say one week to make sure that it agrees with your LO

You need to do what feels right for you Whether it be to BF or FF.

 

[embo216]

Firstly hugs I think our situation is kind of similar, I breastfed my 1st for a few months but she again had terrible colic and went onto comfort formula which really helped, she never latched properly either and I think this is why her wind was so bad.

With my 2nd me and their dad are no longer together, Jack never ever latched on even with breast feeding specialists by side for days. They told me I have huge breasts with very flat nipples lol- nice! Jack even has great great problems latching onto a bottle and it took lots to find one he was best on- MAM works best for him. Aptamil suits him really well too. I would of continued Pumping for him as it was fine but I really neglected my daughter with the pumping and feeding time. I just was not prepared for her to suffer

Anything else hun I'm always here. xxx

 

[polo_princess]

You shouldnt feel guilty, your trying to do whats best for your LO, that shows just what a great mother you are!!

I FF Brooke from birth for several reasons, and she's fit and healthy, Embo216 can vouch for that, and theres certainley nothing wrong with her Lily

 

[loopylj]

Hi

I intended to breastfeed but after I had a long, difficult labour and birth I was sooo tired and Jacob was just not interested so I thought I wasn't putting myself through anymore so I started him on the bottle and have never looked back.

I use Cow and Gate, mainly because that's what my other half and Mam chose from Sainsburys when I decided that I didn't want to breastfeed and they had to rush out to buy milk and I've had no problems with it.

I normally make 24 hours worth of bottles on a night after he is in bed and store them in the fridge, most of the time I just store the water and add the formula as I need the bottle but I have made them with the formula and stored them too. When we are out and about I quite often use the ready made as they are soo easy to make and I have a baby flask and container (boots £9.99) to heat them as some places don't give you hot water to heat them.

xxx

 

[Nic1107]

I fully intended to breastfeed and tried right after Carmen was born, but she simply would not latch. She has an inefficient suck, wouldn't stay still in any sort of BF hold and arched away from me screaming, and only bit me when she finally "latched". Every time I tried to put her to the breast she was horrified to have her face pressed to me, and the cheek support and neck support required to hold her steady made her furious. She has trouble with all kinds of bottle nipples except Dr. Brown's too, she is just an all-around difficult feeder. I pumped for her for as long as I could, eventually mixing with formula and then switching over completely when my supply ran out.

Despite her feeding problems, she is gaining weight very well and has never been sick a day yet, despite being exposed to my friend's sick kids and my brother when he had the flu. I was FF as well for all but the first week or so of my life, and I have a very strong immune system. Carmen is hitting all her milestones, she's happy and has actually had less gas pain since switching to a low-lactose formula than she had on breast milk.

I know it's hard not to feel guilty but there is nothing to feel guilty about. I can't really advise you in different formula types because we seem to have different brands over here, but I use Enfamil Fussiness & Gas Formula.