to everyone, hope your all ok. 
Hi,
Quick question: What does the HV do when they come out?
Been to see the Dr today and she's requested that the HV come to see me! She's coming on Tuesday
But can I have the my MIL BIL AND SIL plus hubbys best mate staying for a few days Its doing my head in havin to plaster a smile on my face and look like I am on top of the world ...will feel better when they go ...i hope
hun that sounds classic to how i was with katie ...she knocked a cup of tea over her at 13 months and i hugged her so tight and sobbed all of a sudden i loved her so much its hard to explain xxx everybody. It's great that you have been able to talk to your OH natalie. That's an important first step to getting better. When I was at my worst I found it very hard to love Jack. It was only when I started to recover emotionally that I was able to feel love for him.
So over the last 2 days, I've really managed to admit a lot.
I admitted to my MIL that I think I have PND.
And I also admitted to my OH my true feelings about my son.
That I don't feel love for him, that when people take him and I whine about missing him, it's actually just me saying that because I feared what people would say and think about me if I didn't miss my own son. Nine times out of ten when I show good emotions towards and about Grady, it's all fake, and I'm simply doing it to try and feel like a 'normal' mom.
I wish I loved my baby unconditionally. It breaks my heart that I don't have those feelings for him. How can I not love my own baby? He's gorgeous, and every time I look at him, I wonder WHY ME!
and after about 6 months after she was born it just hit me that i loved her 
everyone. Sorry I'm not coming on this thread much - I keep trying to ignore the depression and coming on this bit doesn't let me do that, not that I can properly anyway because it's always simmering away just at different levels. x you've done really well over the past couple of days (hope that doesn't sound patronising, it's not meant to be just know how hard it was for me to get that far). Just remember that it's just because you're not very well at the moment and it's not abnormal, 1 in 10 mums get pnd 
Natalie. When DS1 was born i felt nothing for him except resentment. I hated feeding him, i would only 'bother' with him if he needed me and it used to kill me inside that i didn't, couldn't love him. He had an accident when he was about 8 month old and i realised i loved him dearly, but i have to admit things still aren't right between us 7 years on. I love him but i still do not have a mother son bond. I am going to have family counciling to try and help our relationship. When Jake was born i had the rush of love people speak of and it was magical, i really thought i wouldn't get depressed this time round but its not baby jake i resent, its poor kieran all over again. I have no idea why, poor kid.
...He stayed at the hotel where his mum is staying last night and has told me he,ll be ere after work to get his things He as no clue ...I dont have the energy to do this anymore if i wasnt here least the kids would still have there dad ive driven him away and i dont know how iam gunna cope
oh Serina - you haven't driven him away from you or your children, you're not very well and yes, I'm sure things have been tough for him but that doesn't mean he can walk out on you and your children xxx please let us know what happens, I hope you can talk it out and fix this. It's not right for him to be walking out on you, not right at all, you and the kids need him.
I do know if he leaves today I will never take hime back leaving me at when the baby is so tiny but we shall see
serina, i hope he can be more understanding and that you can sort things out. No matter what has happened, he should at least give you a chance to tell him how your feeling.
