PND Support Thread

[Mama1985]

Hey everyone.... I normally don't post on the boards its just I don't know what to say but I'm having such a bad day I just....dunno decided to post.

A little about me, Im Louise (if you don't remember me) Im 24 I have a nine month old and Im suffering from PND, Im seeing an infant psycho therpist and have recently been recommended to see a another psyhctrist lady (who when I spoke with her wanted me to go back on the tablets fluxatin(sp?)) I went to the doctors to get the prescription and because they hadnt sent her a letter like they said they would and I was speaking normally and she asked my partner if I was ok when I wasn't on the tablets and he said I seemed fine (he misunderstood the question or she misunderstood him I cant remember) she was basically well get her to give me a letter but I dont think you need it.
then today my mum comes over and we were supposed to go out to the pictures but I got extremely peed off cos my partner hadnt washed my underwear (I found them when I was talking to him) and he had mixed dirty and clean washing again (I had to calm myself down, I wanted to seriously hit something, throw anything!!) anyway got off the phone then my mum starts 'come on do some washing, you need to be pushed,come on just put a load of washing on' im trying to explain to her that I cant do housework otherwise i just end up getting peed off (for no reason mind you) and end up throwing stuff around but she wasnt listening. I ended up shouting (well screaming) at her and threw stuff about and just started crying, I just felt like I finally understood her and that she thought I was a bad mum and that im lazy and fat and i asked her to take molly may (she still wanted to go)and she did, saying that its all excuses and I just felt like she was kicking me when i was down.... I wanted to just give up and end it all but i havent but im sitting here typing and drinking a magners...I know I shouldnt but its either that or....something else.

anyway sorry about the length of the post, I just had to talk to someone.

thanks again

 

[mrskx0x0]

Hey everyone.... I normally don't post on the boards its just I don't know what to say but I'm having such a bad day I just....dunno decided to post.

A little about me, Im Louise (if you don't remember me) Im 24 I have a nine month old and Im suffering from PND, Im seeing an infant psycho therpist and have recently been recommended to see a another psyhctrist lady (who when I spoke with her wanted me to go back on the tablets fluxatin(sp?)) I went to the doctors to get the prescription and because they hadnt sent her a letter like they said they would and I was speaking normally and she asked my partner if I was ok when I wasn't on the tablets and he said I seemed fine (he misunderstood the question or she misunderstood him I cant remember) she was basically well get her to give me a letter but I dont think you need it.
then today my mum comes over and we were supposed to go out to the pictures but I got extremely peed off cos my partner hadnt washed my underwear (I found them when I was talking to him) and he had mixed dirty and clean washing again (I had to calm myself down, I wanted to seriously hit something, throw anything!!) anyway got off the phone then my mum starts 'come on do some washing, you need to be pushed,come on just put a load of washing on' im trying to explain to her that I cant do housework otherwise i just end up getting peed off (for no reason mind you) and end up throwing stuff around but she wasnt listening. I ended up shouting (well screaming) at her and threw stuff about and just started crying, I just felt like I finally understood her and that she thought I was a bad mum and that im lazy and fat and i asked her to take molly may (she still wanted to go)and she did, saying that its all excuses and I just felt like she was kicking me when i was down.... I wanted to just give up and end it all but i havent but im sitting here typing and drinking a magners...I know I shouldnt but its either that or....something else.

anyway sorry about the length of the post, I just had to talk to someone.

thanks again

aww hope you feel better today? i am sure you are a great mum and i am sure your mum thinks so too. i hate how people dont understand, seems kind of like no one in real life understands. im sorry the doctors were unhelpful about your prescription, i hope you get your tablets soon. im sorry i dont have anything helpful to say xxx

 

[mrskx0x0]

I made an appointment today (nearly did a runner/ pretended I was coming in for something else but got called in early so I Couldnt) and saw a lady nurse practitioner (no doctors available). Tbh I was surprised how quickly she offered me anti depressants, not that I am complaining but she didnt mention anything else as an alternative. She knew from that questionnaire thing that I have considered harming myself 'several times' in the last 2 weeks but didnt mention that the tablets could actually make that worse. Is that true of anti depressants?

Anyway now I have to tell my husband (no idea how to do that made it worse by keeping it from him this long) and she said I should make the LO sleep in her own bed because of the tablets. Sounds like a huge disaster, sleep deprivation + pills that make you want to hurt yourself even more than you did before= erm, I dont know I suppose we will find out.

 

[Aidedhoney]

I havent ever wanted to harm myself hun so i dont know.
Big hugs xxx

Hopefully someone can come and help answer x

 

[Raggydoll]

I made an appointment today (nearly did a runner/ pretended I was coming in for something else but got called in early so I Couldnt) and saw a lady nurse practitioner (no doctors available). Tbh I was surprised how quickly she offered me anti depressants, not that I am complaining but she didnt mention anything else as an alternative. She knew from that questionnaire thing that I have considered harming myself 'several times' in the last 2 weeks but didnt mention that the tablets could actually make that worse. Is that true of anti depressants?

Anyway now I have to tell my husband (no idea how to do that made it worse by keeping it from him this long) and she said I should make the LO sleep in her own bed because of the tablets. Sounds like a huge disaster, sleep deprivation + pills that make you want to hurt yourself even more than you did before= erm, I dont know I suppose we will find out.

to everyone on here. Hope you're all doing ok.

Erin I'm glad you got some good support from your GP.

Mrs X0X0 - When I first started on the Citalopram the first couple of days I felt worse then it started to settle down. It's taken a few weeks for them to really take affect though.

I'm sure your husband will be relieved you have told him. Have you and your husband got any family close by who could help. Just a little bit of help during the first few days can make a lot of difference. My MIL came in to help my husband as I couldn't bear to be with Kate.

It's tough going I've had had about ten good days but been really down for the last few days. I miss the person I used to be, sometimes I feel a bit robotic and sometimes I feel like I'm going a million miles an hour but it doesn't feel real.

Take care all of you.

 

[xerinx]

The pills im on seem to be working quite quickly. I havent been down for about 5 days But a side effect im getting from them is when logan wakes during the night i sleep right through it.

Luckily oh is great and hes been doing the nights, i feel bad about that but hopefully the pills side effects will wear off soon

 

[MrsChamberlin]

Hi Ladies,

I posted this is BabyClub but thought I would go ahead and join the thread. I have been living in denial about my PND for awhile.
James is almost 4 months and over the last month I have slowly got worse.

At the moment and I think this is my lowest point. I can't stand my DH, I can't stand being around my daughters, and I don't feel like I am being a good mother to any of my children. James included... I take care of them all, and make sure they are okay, but the older ones I ask to go play somewhere where I am not, and I hold James a lot, but just to keep him from crying. I can not stand it when he cries.

I have no patience, I have nothing. My body actually aches with everything I feel right now. i am on the edge of tears, or upset, or mad.

Most days I can't be bothered to move my ass off the couch. Getting dressed!?!? haha what is that?? What is doing my make-up and feeling good like? Because honestly I don't really know.

Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment, which wasn't about my PND, but I will be bringing it up at the appointment.

I can't be bothered to do any cleaning, or laundry... I am falling behind in school, I can't get the motivation to do anything.

I don't know what they are gonna do tomorrow...

 

[AP]

How did you get on MrsChamberlin at the docs.

I hvent been on this thread lately, but now i feel smashed to pieces again. Why didnt i get a docs appointment sooner?!

I got so upset and angry i broke the dolls house furniture we painstakingly made the last few days. Now im gonna have to sit and fix it before OH gets home and finds out

Fuck. Roll on Monday - i need help now

 

[Vicks]

sb22. When is your doctors appointment hun?

I had an appointment this week to get more anti-depressants and talk about trying to get some counselling, but it was cancelled as the dr was sick and so all I had was a phone call and a perscription issued. Feeling really rubbish today as I missed 2 days worth of tablets and am crying again over nothing.

Hope you're ok hun xx

 

[AP]

Oh im crying over nothing too! One min i am ok, next, i've lost the rag. And i dunno even know what causes it sometimes!

Im going to make an appointment on monday, so t will prob be later on in the week. I keep putting it off and off but i have to do it. I'm not ready for counselling yet. The time i did go,put me off, i made the woman almost cry. So she was hopeless!

 

[Vicks]

Hope you're able to get an appointment soon hun. I just need to remember to take my tablets as I'm back to square one today

xx

 

[AP]

Right - thats it girls - I've made an appointment - 9.55 today.

I really hope I can get some help but I have a feeling they are just gonna shrug me off....

 

[Vicks]

I hope it goes well hun, don't let them shrug you off

Let us know how you get on xXx

 

[xerinx]

Good luck hun x x

 

[AP]

I've been and im back.

It was horrible. Saying everything out loud made me break down in tears. I got aother questionnaire and scored 18(?) which she said sure was PND now.

She gave me antidepressants.

It was hard - this was the same nice doctor who sent me and OH for fertility testing just year and a half ago, and now this?

I also got alexs milk finally on prescription(hurrah!) and i even managed to see a letter from the hospital from when i gave birth, recommending that 'even though there wasno obvious cause for Alexs early arrival i should have a good management plan in future pregnancies '

Which is a relief as i worry about that.

I left looking like Amy Winehouse high on crack.Make up everywhere
to those that need them!

 

[xerinx]

At least somethings being done hun Hopefully the pills will start working soon and you will feel much better

Well done for going and i think we all have left the docs with a black face!!

Good luck

 

[Aidedhoney]

Huge hugs sb22..............xxx

 

[Vicks]

I'm so glad the appointment went well hun, sounds like you had a fab doctor which really helps xx

 

[AP]

I told her "see, I've always thought you were the nicest doc in here!"

 

[Raggydoll]

Hi Everyone,

Not been on properly for a while. I have had a difficult few weeks and have had my Citroparlm(SP) put up to 40mg, diazipam is still at 5mg x 2 and I've also been put on olanzapine 5mg


I just feel like my feeelings are now totally controlled by tablets. I am much calmer at the moment but really want to at least cut out the diazipam and Olanzapine as they can make me feel totally out of it.

Sorry, that was a bit waffly.

to all of you.