Pooing in Pants!!!

[divadexie]

I have had enough of this

The doctor said he can't see a reason for it happening if it does not happen each time my son has a poo, as if he is at home, he will go to the loo. Ok sometimes he does not wipe properly and that makes a mess, but when he is at home usually gets to the loo.
A few times he has weed himself in the bathroom because he wasn't quick enough, but I know when he needs a wee he will wait until he is practically bursting if he is in the middle of doing something (he will either hold onto it or dance about) and I will have to tell him to go.
But he doesnt show signs when he needs to poop.

It has been near enough every day for the past 2 weeks. Minus the weekends.


He tells us it was because he didn't want to stop playing.

yesterday it was awful, he must have gone about lunch time because it was difficult to clean off!
So today I said to his teacher can she remind him to go.

He came home with clean pants on (a new pair) and he had needed to go to the loo when they were going to assembly. That I can understand a little because the whole class was walking down.


He has NEVER been BOTHERED by poo. All the other kids I know, get to a certain age and HATE the poo in the nappy, and will tell there parent and want it changed. Not my son, he never bothered about it.



I have tried ignoring it. Well, saying ''you must remember to poo in the toilet and him saying OK) He wasn't doing it as frequent then. But one day he caught me throwing his pants in the bin. (I am NOT putting poo in my machine! Lol) He was upset because they were his fave pants. He was screaming at me. So I loudly said ''Well dont poo in them then!!'

But then he seemed to think it was ok to poo and just throw the pants away and clean up! He was doing it more!

I started removing priveledges, like no desert, toys taken away, no teddies in bed.

Putting him on the step. Explaining over and over and over again that poo MUST go in the toilet and I don't like having to clean it up.

I have shouted at him for it.

Today he got a smack on the bum, not for the poo but for lying to me I cannot stand lying he came home and I asked if he had pooed today he said 'nope' but thats when I discovered the new pants.


I have now told him he will not be going to the museum in the holidays (he has been looking forward to it since about june) and he cant go swimming if he does poo in his pants.
I have explained that poo has germs and it can make him ill and it would make LO very sick.

I know it will not work. He just keeps saying OK when you tell him something but then does it again.


The doctor say he will grow out of it. When?? He has no idea.



It hasn't timed in with anything, there was no link between this starting and LO being born, coming home. Not with him starting school or anything. It is driving me BARMY! I normaly get funny about him going to stay with his gran but I cannot wait for a week of not having extra poo to clean up!

 

[Cariad_bach]

im sorry i have no idea what to say, didnt want to read and run tho, how old is he?

 

[divadexie]

Oh, forgot to add that, he's 5.
He was potty trained by the time he was 3. Had the odd accident but that is normal. Then nothing, until recently.

He is off school today. I have bought him a special biscuit and say if he can go all day no poop in pants he can have it.
But I dont want to bribe him to do it.

I may try sticker rewards again..

 

[babe2ooo]

maybe get him to sit on the loo at a certian time everyday, like b4 school or after school, then maybe his body can get used to it. My step son has a problem like that and thats what we were told to do and give him lots of fruit and veg and to only drink water. Hope that helps. i would get him to sit on the loo for 5-10mins even if he doesnt go at least he has tried and do it everyday at the same time.

 

[divadexie]

It happens more when he is at school, so I have asked his teacher to get him to go sit on the loo at break and if he doesnt go then, then at lunch also.

Yesterday he was off school and I sent him to the loo around 11 and he went! Yipee, told him if he could stay clean he can have his gingerbread biscuit.

We went to the shop and bought him his own wipes, that he chose, to only use after he has a poo in the toilet, as he is not wipong properly and explained it over again.

He stayed clean and got his biscuit after tea

My dads gf took him to school today as it was peeing down, and she was going to ask his teacher to get him to go on the loo. I hope he stays clean today too!

 

[SAmummy]

I know exactly what you're going through and believe it or not it's actually quite common. My son had the same problem since the time he was potty trained. Eventually when he turned 5 we took him to a paediatrician because we realised it was more than him just forgetting to go and no matter how cross we got it never seemed to help. The paed sent him straight for x-rays and it turns out to be chronic constipation. It's difficult to diagnose because they do go to the loo, but there is quite a backlog of pooh in the bowel. It distends the anus so eventually the nerve endings become numb to the sensation of needing to go. So in other words it slips out and they only realise it when its too late. The first thing he did was put him on a strong course of laxitives to clear the bowel over a few days. Then on a milder laxitive long term to get him into a good pattern of going to the loo. It's hard because it can also become a phsychological issue so try not tp get angry .... you need endless patience and I lost it a few times . It took us about 6 months of mild laxitives and teaching him how to feel the cues of when he needs to pooh before we got it right. He is 6 now and has no problems and is not on any laxitives. Diet is also very important .... they need a lot of fibre and fruit and veggies. Refined foods can clog them up quickly. I hope this helps. Try go see another doctor because I'm pretty sure your son has the same problem mine had. He aso had no problem with the pooh in his pants .... we had to smell him out ! Good luck

 

[Bix]

Our son has been through a similar thing. Wees were fine but he just plain refused to poop in the toilet and would only go in his pants. We tried all the tricks, various types of bribary and offers of rewards, taking away priviledges, ignoring it, telling off, telling him it didnt matter, throwing away much loved pants (I did wash most of them - as a cloth nappy user it didn't bother me too much but some were just too messy to deal with!) but none of it worked.

In the end the thing that worked was to watch out for the 'signs' or when we knew he must need a poo (he's usually pretty regular, going every day) and we'd take his trousers and pants off so that he couldn't poo in them. He obviously didn't like the idea of the sensation of pooing with nothing to catch it and would then ask to go to the toilet. He would rush to the toilet and sit but not do anything and it often took 6 or 7 trips to the loo before he'd actually poop, but he'd get there in the end. Even when he seemed to be getting the hang of going on the toilet, if you left his pants on he would go back to pooping in them and this went on for sometime until just one day it seemed to click and he asked to go to the loo for a poo before I'd taken away his pants.

Obviously this is not something that can be done when he's at school, but set aside some weekends where you don't go out, stay home so you can perservere with it, and also during school holidays. It did take time but it was the only thing that worked for my son in the end.

Obviously it could be something medical like the last poster says, but it could be down to a psychological habit and it's got to be worth a shot

 

[divadexie]

The doctor said, that because sometimes he is obviously aware he needs to poop as he will either rush to the loo at the last minute, or manage to go on his own that he will simply grow out of it!


Well, last wed he came home with different pants on. I had bought him a gingerbread nurse biscuit in tesco to have if he had been clean. He was really upset that he didnt get to eat it.
I explained why he cant have it and gave him a big telling about how sick it can make him and that it will make his little sister sick if he has germs from poo in his pants.
We went out and bought him wipes for at home.

Thurs he was off school hed been full of the cold and was just really tired. So at about 11 I asked him to go and have a try on the loo and he did
Said if he can stay clean he can have the biscuit.

On friday I asked the teacher can she make sure she says to him and told him he can have something nice after tea again if no poo.

There has been no poo since then.

He goes to his grans on sat, will be saying to her to make sure to remind him in the day and let him have something but he is not to have sweeties at any other point of the day.

when he comes back going to do stickers and he can get something nice at the end of the week, as he normally gets one treat a week as sugar makes him horrible, I have been dealing with the whinges and tantrums as result of the cakes only by reminding myself i dont have to clean up poo! lol

 

[BeckyBoo]

Michael is just turning 5 and he did this for months at around 4 to 4 1/2.

I was at the end of my tether, it just seemed like he was too lazy to go to the toilet. And the bad part is, he'd just sit in it and not tell me.

I told him if he kept doing it he wouldn't be allowed to go to school because it's dirty and teachers aren't allowed to change his pants or wipe his bum and about 4 weeks before he started school, it stopped.

I was wondering if it was attention seeking because his sister is in nappies and of course, when your changing their bum, you make it fun... blow on their tummies etc. And I think he though if he did it, he'd get attention. He was getting attention, just the wrong kind.

I also found too that he'd maybe do toilet and he wouldn't wipe and that's how the poo would mostly get on his pants, so I started telling him to ask me to come in and wipe his bum, and I'd show him and get him to do it.

 

[hypnorm]

Every time he poos where you want him too - give him a reward.
Try and ignore it when he does it in his pants just clear it up, with no interaction, it could be an attention thing.
the special wipes can help, and even buying fave pants.

 

[mummy2anangel]

totally know how youre feeling ive just posted a very similar thread how annoying, my sons 5 too hope you get somewhere with him soon x