Pooping in Pants

[barbikins]

Hello Fellow Mama's!
I'm looking for some guidance.
My son started peeing in the toilet August of 2017.
He's done very well with that. He was 2.5 years old at the time.
As far as pooping is concerned, he quickly adapted to pooping in the toilet at daycare but wouldn't poop in the toilet at home. Still won't.
And now, at 3 years of age, he started pooping in his underwear more at daycare as well. It's been really frustrating as it's really dirty/disgusting and we end up changing him a few times a day or he holds in his poop and gets constipated.

We have tried talking to him about it after every accident and every day how we poop in the toilet, how big boys poop in toilets, how all of his friends poop in the toilet. We've tried the reward system but he won't go for it. Just refuses to poop in the toilet. Goes in his underwear.

What confuses us greatly is that at daycare he'll do it in the toilet so, why when he's with us at home will he only go in the underwear?

Anyway, what I"m looking for is any similar situations and at what point or what you had to do in order to get your toddler to poop in the toilet. What was that transition like. Did you have to make changes or anything that helped with it? Thanks!

 

[apple_20]

My son went through the same thing. I wish I could say there was a magic fix.

However I found that it wasn't that he couldn't go in the toilet he simply couldn't be bothered to (i.e. too busy playing!) He went through phases of being really bad which coincided with Summer and not wanting to come in from the garden.

Like you we tried rewards and we found this worked in the short term but he regressed.as he got older he was able to explain that he thought someone would take his work if he left it to go to the toilet so spoke to nursery teacher about this.

Really it only seemed to get better with age and as he could logic it out
'look how long it's taking to clean you up! If you had gone in the toilet you would be back playing by now'
'quick pop to the toilet so you get time to play this game'

'oh no we took so long cleaning you up you missed the end of your show, next time go to the toilet and I can pause it'

I found telling him off made him no better and praise only worked if I was constantly reminding him. The logic thing won out in the end.

Make the cleaning up after an accident so boring and long (where possible) and point out how quick he was when he does go in the toilet. You didn't miss any of the game! We have loads of time to play etc.

Good luck

 

[barbikins]

Thank you! That's some good insight. I will try that angle for sure

 

[misspriss]

Praise worked for us, but DD was under 3. It took her a couple of weeks after pee for poop, cleaning up poop sucked. We used praise and rewards, but praise worked the best.

Probably used some measure of logic as well, the "see how long it takes to clean up? If we go in the potty, it would be so much cleaner and faster" or "Great! you made a poopy! A quick wipe and you'll be back to your toys/game/show!"

At daycare, it is probably a potty right off the playroom. It is faster to go in, use a child sized toilet, and get back to playing. There is probably an adult close and ready to help him, they probably ask. He sees other children using the potty.

DD is trained, at MOPS (childcare in a preschool classroom) she has the potty right off the playroom, she has never had an accident. She goes to childcare at the gym, she has an accident (usually pee) every time, because the potty is across the room - the childminder has to call her backup, then wait, then walk her across the gym, then potty- etc. She has accidents. Not the ideal system, in my POV, but the gym is laid out how it's laid out.

 

[SarahBear]

Praise, chocolate, and patience worked with my son.

 

[misspriss]

Praise, chocolate, and patience worked with my son.

We used gummy bears, don't melt in the hand