You did not fail her at all! Sometimes, nature is very very cruel. And it seems everything is happening at once with your possible job loss. However, if you do lose it there may be a better paying job out there for you. This happened to my friend and she is now in a whole new career because of it. As for affording a baby, is there ever a right time to afford one? If you have another baby, you will find a way to pay for everything.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss and remember when it happened. *hugs*