I've been off the forums pretty much since my baby was born. I've been struggling to concentrate on anything other than a party of five marathon. My doctor started me on Zoloft a couple of weeks ago and I started to.feel better... then this week it was time to go back to work. I missed a dose and my world came crashing down. Nobody. And I mean nobody is good enough for my baby but me. My husband is okay, sort of. I mean I know he loves him but he's to slow to pick him up when I'm home watching let alone when I leave. My daycare lady is amazing and she has a six month old and he is so very well taken care of its perfect exactly what I was looking for. And so not good enough. My mom holding him puts my teeth on edge. Every time someone touches him I want to snarl. I'm so incredibly possessive I want to snatch him away even from the Dr during an exam.
He's mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. I'm losing sight of everything else. I have to work. He needs health insurance. My husband can't afford our lives on one income I was always going to go back to work. But it's the hardest thing I have ever done. Walking away from him. Even for a few hours. I'm not coping I'm not rational. It's all I can do to not quit my job. I have to go back on Monday. I have to drop him off at daycare get in my car drive to work be there for three hours before I can go get him again and I'm terrified that I won't be able to do it. I really don't know if if I can.
He's mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. I'm losing sight of everything else. I have to work. He needs health insurance. My husband can't afford our lives on one income I was always going to go back to work. But it's the hardest thing I have ever done. Walking away from him. Even for a few hours. I'm not coping I'm not rational. It's all I can do to not quit my job. I have to go back on Monday. I have to drop him off at daycare get in my car drive to work be there for three hours before I can go get him again and I'm terrified that I won't be able to do it. I really don't know if if I can.
