pre-IVF anxiety... Help!!

[Megan0625]

Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted but I've just been prepping for IVF and I'm super excited! I'm going in for my follicular ultrasound and injection instruction appointment this week, so the plan is to start the stims next week (on 1/26). While I'm super excited, I'm also a huge mountain of stress right now and nearly had a mental breakdown this morning thinking about all the $$$ I'm about to pay, as well as just the whole process in general. I'm a very positive person and I know things will work out the way they are meant to, but has anyone else had a lot of pre-IVF anxiety and overcome it? I obviously would like to not be very stressed when going through this but I'm definitely feeling more stressed right now than when I went through my IUI cycles. Any advice would be appreciated! Thank you in advance!

Megan

 

[WinterBub]

No advice, but wishing you good luck ! I'm just starting to consider IVF. How did it all go last week? What is your timeline now? I think it is totally normal to be nervous, especially as we tend to end up at IVF after a bit of a journey... I hope all goes well, and you'll be holding a baby not too long from now.

 

[Megan0625]

No advice, but wishing you good luck ! I'm just starting to consider IVF. How did it all go last week? What is your timeline now? I think it is totally normal to be nervous, especially as we tend to end up at IVF after a bit of a journey... I hope all goes well, and you'll be holding a baby not too long from now.

Thank you so much! Well unfortunately I got COVID right before my scheduled appointment, and then whey I did get in a week later, they found an ovarian cyst. :/ So needless to say, it's been a very frustrating couple of weeks. I'm going back in tomorrow morning to see if my cyst is gone or has shrunk, and if it's gone, I will be getting off birth control and starting stims in about 5 days. Fingers crossed this is my month!

 

[WinterBub]

Oh dear, great timing on the covid although probably better to have had it before you started anything than find out halfway through etc. Funnily enough, I have covid right now. It honestly feels like a cold, though I do have an unpleasant headache that keeps coming back. How long did it take you to be properly over it?

If you don't mind me asking- what lead you to IVF? I have a 2 yo, and had him without trying and without any issues. Then we started trying for #2 and it has been the polar opposite: one early miscarriage and I'm now in the middle of my second missed miscarriage. I know that the reason for MMC #1 was a trisomy, so it seems that I have egg quality/age issues. I'm only 35, so wasn't expecting any problems after such an easy first experience. I'm looking at IVF to take my mind off the crappy situation I'm in right now, and refind hope that we may still get there.

If you feel like I'd sharing, I'd love to hear how you go. I actually don't really know what IVF entails, and would be really interested to follow your experience, whether or not we end up doing it. I'll have everything crossed that this is indeed your month

 

[Megan0625]

Oh dear, great timing on the covid although probably better to have had it before you started anything than find out halfway through etc. Funnily enough, I have covid right now. It honestly feels like a cold, though I do have an unpleasant headache that keeps coming back. How long did it take you to be properly over it?

If you don't mind me asking- what lead you to IVF? I have a 2 yo, and had him without trying and without any issues. Then we started trying for #2 and it has been the polar opposite: one early miscarriage and I'm now in the middle of my second missed miscarriage. I know that the reason for MMC #1 was a trisomy, so it seems that I have egg quality/age issues. I'm only 35, so wasn't expecting any problems after such an easy first experience. I'm looking at IVF to take my mind off the crappy situation I'm in right now, and refind hope that we may still get there.

If you feel like I'd sharing, I'd love to hear how you go. I actually don't really know what IVF entails, and would be really interested to follow your experience, whether or not we end up doing it. I'll have everything crossed that this is indeed your month

Yeah, COVID is really going around right now! Honestly I still don't feel 100% and it's been a couple of weeks for me, but I am still being treated for bronchitis at this point. For me, it ended up being more flu-like with a fever, body aches, bad cough, bronchitis, and fatigue. I definitely am glad I got it now though I suppose. I think I will be feeling 100% in about a week!

Good news is I found out today that my cyst is gone! So they gave me the go-ahead to do IVF this cycle! I'm so excited but overwhelmed because I honestly didn't think my cyst would be gone and I would be approved today. So, my partner and I started with checking on my fertility in December 2019 and we did my first IUI in March 2020. Unfortunately, that failed, and then the pandemic got bad and the clinic was closed for some time. We did 3 at-home intracervical inseminations with donor sperm but none of those worked. In early 2021, we did 3 back-to-back medicated IUI cycles in the clinic and none of those took either. I was absolutely devastated at that point because we had spent so much money already on trying to get pregnant and I was feeling extremely depressed. We decided on IVF at this point because we want to be parents more than anything in this world and I really want to experience pregnancy. We started DoorDashing for extra money and my partner took a second job and we saved up for an early 2022 IVF cycle.

I think I'll be going off birth control today or tomorrow and then will start my daily injections in 4 days-ish? It's honestly surreal, I can't believe I'm finally starting. I will definitely keep you updated on the process. Thank you so much!

 

[WinterBub]

Ugh, sorry that covid is still hitting you. I had a horrible headache for a couple of days, which thankfully passed. I now just have a very mild blocked nose feeling. I had much more of a cold than anything flu-like, luckily. I hope that your bronchitis clears quickly.

That's great news that you could go ahead! What's your protocol now? Do you do injections at home, and then the egg retrieval at some point? Im sorry that the IUI didn't work, and for the covid delays. I often feel like things in life would be so much easier to deal with if you knew how and when it would all work out. You've been through a lot of uncertainty and waiting, and I just really hope everything goes great for you now.

 

[Megan0625]

Ugh, sorry that covid is still hitting you. I had a horrible headache for a couple of days, which thankfully passed. I now just have a very mild blocked nose feeling. I had much more of a cold than anything flu-like, luckily. I hope that your bronchitis clears quickly.

That's great news that you could go ahead! What's your protocol now? Do you do injections at home, and then the egg retrieval at some point? Im sorry that the IUI didn't work, and for the covid delays. I often feel like things in life would be so much easier to deal with if you knew how and when it would all work out. You've been through a lot of uncertainty and waiting, and I just really hope everything goes great for you now.

Thank you! I'm already feeling so much better and am feeling like myself. I'm starting daily subcutaneous stimulation injections on Saturday evening and will go back into the clinic Wednesday morning for an ultrasound and bloodwork. Then I think I will be continuing daily injections for another 5 days-ish with every other day ultrasounds and bloodwork to monitor follicle numbers and growth (as well as any signs of OHSS). Once my follicles get up to a certain size (I think 18mm), I will be going in every day until the day of the egg retrieval (hopefully around Feb 16/17ish). The goal would be to do a fresh embryo transfer 5 days later! I'm super excited but definitely nervous.

 

[WinterBub]

Oooo wow, that's exciting! Amazing how fast it all seems to go once you get started. I hope you respond well to the meds, and get lots of healthy looking eggs to retrieve. Will you get to discuss how many embryos you have/grading etc before deciding about how to proceed with the transfer? Fingers crossed all goes really well and you will be getting a BFP a month from now.

 

[Megan0625]

Oooo wow, that's exciting! Amazing how fast it all seems to go once you get started. I hope you respond well to the meds, and get lots of healthy looking eggs to retrieve. Will you get to discuss how many embryos you have/grading etc before deciding about how to proceed with the transfer? Fingers crossed all goes really well and you will be getting a BFP a month from now.

Yep! I think my doctor prefers to transfer one embryo at a time in hopes of a healthy singleton pregnancy, but chooses to transfer more than one for certain situations. He will grade them and choose the best "looking" embryo to transfer. And thank you so much for all the support! I'm honestly just extremely excited that I'm finally on this journey. This is such an incredibly stressful time though so I'm just trying to take it day by day

 

[elencor]

I completely understand you, we will be doing IVF probably in may, we are saving money and loosing weight until then... I get anxiety thinking about it all, the money, the telling the relatives, even the whether they'll renew my job contract once they find out I'm pregnant/having fertility treatments
It all feels really complicated but I want a baby more than anything, we've been trying for almost two years.
Good luck!! I'll be rooting for you, please let us know how it all goes

 

[WinterBub]

That makes sense. I think maybe as technology has advanced they've started to think differently about putting multiple embryos back (thanks, Octomom! ) I suspect I would want to do the same. Twins are amazing, but I don't think I would choose a twin pregnancy.
I've had different struggles, but I totally get the stress and worry I hope everything goes smoothly for you and this is the month. Keep us updated! Do the stim injections give you any side effects?

Hi Elencor! Good luck to you. What are you doing to lose weight? I've been on a rollercoaster the past year of pregnancy and loss and keep yoyoing weight wise. Last weekend I decided to really get my head back in the game on that one- so, bought foods in set portions/calories and am just basically trying to do better. I'd like to drop 15lb as soon as possible, and ideally 30. I'm just into "overweight" for my height, but I think that even those extra pounds is a part of whatever my issues are. I know I have PCOS, so any extra fat/weight certainly doesn't help. And I don't think you should feel obligated to tell anyone at all about your ttc journey/IVF. If you want to, then of course, do! But if you're worried about family getting involved etc- you don't have to share with anyone

Do you mind if I ask you guys what you're paying for an IVF cycle? (Feel free not to disclose if you don't want to!) Just curious as we haven't even gotten to that point yet.

 

[elencor]

Thank you @WinterBub ! I've been eating healthier and going to the gym 3 times a week, I'm loosing weight but very slowly, I started dieting in August and lost only 5.5-6kg! My problem is a really like fast food tbh... But I want to loose 8 more kilograms before IVF so I'm going to have to be more focus on this.
IVF + all the medical tests is going to be something around 12000 euros, I don't know if thats a lot or too cheap in comparison with english-speaking countries but it's definitely too much for us

 

[WinterBub]

Hey, any weight loss is movement in the right direction! Right now I'm not doing much activity, but will start up that side of things in the next 2-4 weeks. Picking up food can be ok if you work out what "healthy" options are available. I basically have oked myself to pick up a few things from Chick-fil-A (salads with certain dressings and their grilled chicken burger) and small turkey sandwich from a sandwich place. I think it's important to make changes that I can keep going long term. I have bought things in single servings, so I at least know the portion size is set. It's so annoying- just a few years ago I was borderline underweight. Good luck shifting those 8kg- hopefully the IVF goal coming up will help with motivation.

And thank you for sharing the cost... That seems similar to what it is here. Google suggests about $10,000. I believe my insurance will cover part of the cost. But we would want to do PGS testing (that would kind of be the point of IVF for us), so that would push the cost back up

 

[Megan0625]

I completely understand you, we will be doing IVF probably in may, we are saving money and loosing weight until then... I get anxiety thinking about it all, the money, the telling the relatives, even the whether they'll renew my job contract once they find out I'm pregnant/having fertility treatments
It all feels really complicated but I want a baby more than anything, we've been trying for almost two years.
Good luck!! I'll be rooting for you, please let us know how it all goes

Hi elencor! Yes I totally understand the anxiety about everything, as well as all those struggles. We started the fertility process in December 2019, so it has been quite the journey and I'm just ready to have a baby in my arms. I have even worried about my job as I am a neuroscientist and renew my contract annually and I have worried about how my supervisor will react to me choosing to start a family. I figure everything will work out the way it is supposed to though, and starting a family is the most important thing to me right now . I've even had my share of panic attacks this week alone when I realized I will probably need to refill my prescriptions, which will cost an extra $1000-$2000 that I had not planned for, but again, I figure I will just have to figure it out as it comes and try not to panic about things I can't control (which, during fertility treatments, is A LOT). Thank you so much for your support and I which you the best of luck and baby dust as well!

 

[Megan0625]

That makes sense. I think maybe as technology has advanced they've started to think differently about putting multiple embryos back (thanks, Octomom! ) I suspect I would want to do the same. Twins are amazing, but I don't think I would choose a twin pregnancy.
I've had different struggles, but I totally get the stress and worry I hope everything goes smoothly for you and this is the month. Keep us updated! Do the stim injections give you any side effects?

Hi Elencor! Good luck to you. What are you doing to lose weight? I've been on a rollercoaster the past year of pregnancy and loss and keep yoyoing weight wise. Last weekend I decided to really get my head back in the game on that one- so, bought foods in set portions/calories and am just basically trying to do better. I'd like to drop 15lb as soon as possible, and ideally 30. I'm just into "overweight" for my height, but I think that even those extra pounds is a part of whatever my issues are. I know I have PCOS, so any extra fat/weight certainly doesn't help. And I don't think you should feel obligated to tell anyone at all about your ttc journey/IVF. If you want to, then of course, do! But if you're worried about family getting involved etc- you don't have to share with anyone

Do you mind if I ask you guys what you're paying for an IVF cycle? (Feel free not to disclose if you don't want to!) Just curious as we haven't even gotten to that point yet.

So far, the stims haven't caused many side effects other than a sore abdomen at the injection site and a little cramping in my ovaries. Also, the Menopur stings a bit during the injection, which I wasn't really anticipating! I'm assuming my side effects will get a little worse as I've completed more injections because so far, I've only done 2 nights of shots. I'm going in for my first monitoring appointment on Wednesday, which will tell me if my dose is correct and if I'm responding to the meds, so I'm definitely anxious about that!

Coming up with the money was DEFINITELY the most stressful part, and probably one of the biggest reasons I grieved so much after so many failed IUIs. Our actual IVF cycle was close to $7000, meds (so far) have been $3500, and we will have to pay about $2500 to freeze embryos. Plus the anesthesia during egg retrieval will be an additional $500. Our health insurance doesn't cover any sort of fertility treatment, so we had to pay everything out of pocket. We each took a second job to quickly make an extra $6000, then we took out a personal loan to pay for the rest. We don't really have any extra financial support, so it has been extremely tough. We even applied for a few fertility grants but unfortunately didn't get any of them.

 

[WinterBub]

I'm sorry that you've been through so much, and have had the financial stress on top of it all thank you for sharing the cost. It sounds like all the extras can quickly add up. I'm going to speak to the fertility specialist again in a few weeks, and see what options we have. I have no problem falling pregnant, but have one confirmed loss due to chromosomal issues, and one suspected. I'd like to hear whether he thinks I would be successful without IVF but with other help. (Clomid? Metformin? Other meds?) Or whether he feels like IVF is the only way we'd be successful.

Fingers crossed that you're reacting well to the meds, and everything will be very positive on Wednesday. I'd take the cramping as a sign that something is happening!

 

[Megan0625]

I'm sorry that you've been through so much, and have had the financial stress on top of it all thank you for sharing the cost. It sounds like all the extras can quickly add up. I'm going to speak to the fertility specialist again in a few weeks, and see what options we have. I have no problem falling pregnant, but have one confirmed loss due to chromosomal issues, and one suspected. I'd like to hear whether he thinks I would be successful without IVF but with other help. (Clomid? Metformin? Other meds?) Or whether he feels like IVF is the only way we'd be successful.

Fingers crossed that you're reacting well to the meds, and everything will be very positive on Wednesday. I'd take the cramping as a sign that something is happening!

Thank you! And I'm so sorry for your losses. That is so hard. I'm hoping you can get some answers yourself and find the route that works best for you! And I agree, it feels like something is happening, so I'm just hoping my dose is good and I'm on the right track

 

[WinterBub]

Thank you. It is what it is... I'm hopeful that we will find a path forward one was or another.

Let us know how things go on Wednesday!

 

[Megan0625]

Thank you. It is what it is... I'm hopeful that we will find a path forward one was or another.

Let us know how things go on Wednesday!

Thank you, will do! I'm starting to have LOTS of side effects from these meds so fingers crossed that means they are working properly!

 

[Megan0625]

Thank you. It is what it is... I'm hopeful that we will find a path forward one was or another.

Let us know how things go on Wednesday!

Thought I would let you guys know how my first monitoring appointment went! So everything looks really good so far. They counted about 15 follicles on one side and 11 on the other and I seem to be responding well to the meds. They don't think they need to adjust the dosing or anything, so it's looking like I will be having my egg retrieval on February 14, 15, or 16, depending on the size of my follicles! I will probably be starting my cetrotide injections tomorrow to prevent premature ovulation. I have another monitoring appointment on Friday so will hopefully know more then.