Pregnancy, Yahoo, & Text Buddy-September 2010-US

[emilylynn18]

Hi there!! I'm Emily, and this is my first baby.

I'm looking for a buddy to keep me company and compare stuff with me. We can chat about the joys of pregnancy haha and our expectations, hopes, etc.

I CAN have more than one buddy so the more the merrier!(sp?)
You can PM me, or jusr reply on this thread.

Have a great day!

 

[QueSeraSera]

hello! im shannon, im 24 and pregnant with my first...due in september. the online calculators say that my expected due date is september 9th, but i havent had a proper dating scan or anything.

my OH has a 3 year old son (my stepson) and so he has already been through this all before. and while he is excited, i dont think hes nearly as excited as i am! lol. anyway, looking for a girl to share the journey with! i have only known for about a week now, and i think hes already getting a bit tired of me wanting to talk about it ALL the time! hehe. im pretty far away from you (hawaii) but thats what makes the internet so great!

when are you due? when did you get your BFP?

 

[goddess25]

I can be your buddy too.. I am 35 and have 1 son aged 11 months and very newly expecting my 2nd child. I live in Canada and am looking for buddies too, EDD is 23rd September.

 

[emilylynn18]

Hi ladies! Well, I got my BFP 1/13/2010, which was this past Wednesday.

Went to the doctor Thursday morning, and she said I'm due August 20th. That doesn't make sense to me, b/c all of the due date calculators I've done keep telling me September 24th. I'll find out FOR SURE when I go to an OB-Gyn.

 

[QueSeraSera]

Wow August 20th is an early due date if you just found out on the 13th. I found out on the 9th and my EDD is September 9th. But I guess it all depends on when your last period was. Mine was December 3rd, so when I found out I was just a little over a week late. But I haven't gone to an OBGYN yet either, so I won't know for sure until that happens on the 27th of this month. When is your appt?

 

[emilylynn18]

We are calling on Monday to set up an appointment. My last period was December 18th, so Agugust 20th sounds WAY too early to me.

Hopefully I can get in for an appointment next week.

 

[QueSeraSera]

oh wow that does sound early then! hopefully the ob can give you a better estimate. heres crossing my fingers that you get in for an appointment quickly! my appointment was 2.5 weeks out when i made it, and it was only that soon because there had been a recent cancellation. but maybe getting an appoinment is only an issue with miltary docs here or something...wouldnt surprise me!

 

[emilylynn18]

Maybe. My mom thinks the doc just read her circle deal wrong. She's a really nice lady though and I've been to her office like a million times lol!

So was your pregnancy planned? What are you hoping it will be?

 

[QueSeraSera]

yea i could see that...maybe she just read it wrong by a month. september 20th sounds a lot more accurate.

my pregnancy was planned. i had gone off of bc back in july, but we werent really trying or anything. we were more just seeing what would happen, letting everything kind of take its own course. i was starting to get kinda impatient though, because i definitely thought it would take less time. i think that comes from years of being on bc, scared to ever miss a pill in case i ended up pregnant, and then going off and nothing for 5 months! lol. so this was a good surprise.

i am hoping for a girl. i have a stepson who is turning 3 tomorrow, and he is loads of fun. but i really want a girl. my OH wants another boy. i think he is afraid of the teen years with girls...dating and all of that. i think we will find out the gender at the scan after 20 weeks or whenever...just so we know. my OH and my stepsons mom didnt find out, and he says now he wants to so that we can plan everything out for the nursery. i agree...plus i just dont think i could wait for the surprise! lol

how about you...do you have any preference for gender? do you think youll find out before? had you planned this, or did it come as a surprise?

 

[emilylynn18]

I don't have a preference. I really just want a healthy baby. My stepson has Cerebral Palsy and he was born 3 months early. I'm a little nervous about it, but there's not much I can do besides take good care of myself. OH wants a girl, only because he already has a boy and he's always wanted a little girl.

I will definitely have to find out ASAP! I couldn't keep it a surprise... OH might be able to, but there's no way I could.

We had been trying since October, but it still came as a surprise. I had been feeling my normal pre-AF symptoms and so I was preparing for it to arrive. Then that Wednesday morning, I thought, what the heck? Might as well use my last test... So it totally surprised me when it came up and said Pregnant.

How does it make you feel that your OH had a child before you? Was he married to his son's mom? Are you two on good terms?

 

[QueSeraSera]

i totally agree with you. ultimately, i just want a healthy baby too. i will be happy with either a boy or a girl. but there is a part of me that really wants to be able to buy dresses and bows! lol.

i am so sorry to hear about your stepson. i have a cousin with the same condition. he is about 17 now though and living a completely normal life. giving his mom all of the stresses and worries hes supposed to at his age! i was born about a month and a half early and my husband was a little premature too, so I definitely have my worries about that. i have already begun reading all of the books on how to keep myself healthy!

i had the exact same thing! i was so sure that my period was coming that there was no way that i was gonna waste a test. but my OH made me take it. i think i about fainted when it was a positive...OH had to sit down when i showed him. but after the shock wore off we immediately got excited.

i am completely okay with him having a son. ive been in his life since he was only 7 months old, so i was never like an outsider coming in that i think some stepmoms feel. sometimes though, i am kind of jealous that i dont have the same bond that my OH has with him. but ultimately he has a great mother, and i was never wanting to replace that. but i know with my own child i will have a bond that i try but just cant seem to create with my stepson. i love him so much though, i think i fell totally in love with him the moment i met him.

my OH wasnt married to her, it was just a girlfriend. he was married before, but no kids from that. when she found out she was pregnant, he tried to do the right thing and he proposed, but she didnt want to get married. she said it was an accident, but were pretty sure that she kinda planned on getting pregnant. but her and i have always gotten along and shes always been very nice to me. we arent like close though, because there is still a lot of tension between her and OH.

 

[emilylynn18]

Your relationship with your OH's ex is completely different than mine with My OH's ex...

I've only spoken to her about Mikie, but I've read texts from her to OH and all I can say is WOW!!! since I'm not officially a mother myself yet, I hate to say this, but she's a TERRIBLE mother. Mikie comes to our house and for the whole first day he cries and whines constantly. He always comes to us with diarrhea or he's got scratches on his face because she doesn't trim his fingernails.

Before she filed for a divorce, she always sent him to us in clothes that were WAY too small. It was super hard to take his onesie off because it hardly fit over his head. she sent him to us with no coat or shoes when it was freezing outside. Thank goodness we have those things here at our house!

Some of the things she's said is just down right horrid... Legally, her and Oh are still married. But she goes to court on the 28th of this month because she refused to get a lawyer like OH did. She's trying for alimony, child support, etc. Although, OH's lawyer says she won't get alimony because she had a full-time job and her own apartment since they've been separated, so she's proven she can support Mikie and herself without OH's help.

She quit that job, moved back in with her mom, and made her mom buy her a new car so she could "Go back to school and spend more time with Mikie..." When Mikie is not with us or OH's mom, he's with her mom or her sister. She rarely spends any time with him.

OH and I let him sleep with us because he can't properly use his legs yet so he somtimes gets his legs tangled in his blanket. She gives him a bottle of formula, (Which OH and I are trying to wean him from since he really doesn't need it anymore because he eats regular food), lays him in his crib in his OWN room, shuts the door and let's him cry himself to sleep. When he's at our house, he wakes up in the middle of the night screaming for no reason, and the instant he knows he's in bed with us, he falls back asleep.

UGH lol sorry for writing a novel.. I could be on that subject ALL day!

 

[QueSeraSera]

oh man that is horrible! the relationship with my OHs ex has not always been so good. when she found out she was pregnant, they were living together and he bought a ring and proposed. she said no, but they still tried to work it out through the pregnancy. as soon as my stepson was born, she told my OH that her mom was moving in and he had to get out. her mom is HORRIBLE! she had been trying to split them up from the beginning, and eventually succeeded. she moved in and immediatley became a fulltime babysitter. once when my OH went to pick his son up the mother handed the baby carrier out the door in the rain, letting my SS get soaked. it was cold out and my OH had to shelter him from the rain and try to put a coat on him, because she hadn't put one on him. things like that.

as part of the custody agreement my OH was to have my SS on his first christmas. instead the mother decided she wanted to go out of town with her new fiance (the one she got engaged to only months after OH and her split) and so she just took him. my husband tried to report her for parental kidnapping, but nobody would do anything. she used to do horrible things like that all the time. eventually she calmed down and they have had a more uneasy peace now.

the annoying part about it is, though, that she still just does whatever she wants. she thinks that because she is the mother she can just do whatever she wants. and we pay a huge amount of child support each month even though we have him almost half of the time and she makes more money than my OH. its all pretty ridiculaous. the thing is, i really dont like her for what shes done to my OH, but on the other hand shes always been very nice to me. so its a strange situation.

i just dont understand how women can use their kids as pawns like that. like your OHs ex...she was doing fine with a place for her kid, but before the trial she quits her job and moves in with her mom so she will be able to get alimony and more child support from him?! its just kinda sick. how long were they together? i hope everything comes out alright in court and that the judge sees how she is just trying to play the system. unfortunately the women always seem to come out of custody hearing in a much better position than the guys, and its not very fair!

arrgh...obviously i could go on about this subject all day too! haha.

 

[emilylynn18]

They were only together like a year... Plus she took off with DSS for a month, told OH she was staying with a friend. Come to find out, she had run off with another guy who was barely 16 when she was 19!!!

She's just a horrible mother. She doesn't take care of DSS like she's supposed to. OH has put it in their papers that I'm allowed to keep him when I want when it's his time and since I'll be going to school like right down the block from her house, I'll be picking him up and dropping him off alot. It's in the papers so that way she can't say anything about it, and when they go to court, OH's attorney is going to tell them its in the best interest of the child because he flatout ADORES me!

Lol i love him too though! When he cries, usually OH can't get him to stop. He cries and cries and cries until I pick him up and calm him down. But that's not OH's fault. I'm pretty sure it's just cuz when DSS had just come home from the hospital, OH had to work all the time to support them. He worked at Walmart at the time, so he didn't make alot.

So... Maybe it's cuz I'm pregnant or just slow today, but are you and OH married??

 

[stuffymuffy]

Hey, we've chatted a few times on the teen pregnancy forum. I'm due a few months before you but would love a text buddy I'm Stephanie btw.

 

[QueSeraSera]

thats very cool that they put it in the papers that you can keep him and pick him up and everything. at first, my OHs ex was a little hesitant about me doing those things but she has come around to it.

sometimes a kid just needs a girl too when theyre upset. i know most of the time my DSS will be fine with my OH comforting him, but there are times when he asks for me. sometimes you just need something more like a mother when youre hurt or upset or sick.

thats very admirable of your OH to work so hard to support his wife and kid! it sucks because she obviously didn't much appreciate it, and because it took away his time with his son! so does he work a different job now, where he doesnt have to work such crazy hours?

me and my OH are married. we just celebrated our first anniversary at the end of november actually so what are your plans with your OH after the divorce goes through? you are planning to get married straightaway or wait awhile?

 

[emilylynn18]

No, now his hours are even crazier! He works from 11:55 pm to 7:55 am. He gets Wednesday and Thursday nights off right now. He works at a railroad. Unfortunately, that means he sleeps a good portion of the day, but that's when I'm at school so it's not like I'm missing out on our time together. He likes it better this way than at his other job because it's WAY better pay and he actually likes the work he does.

Right now, we are just worried about getting his divorced finalized and making sure baby stays healthy. I'd love to get married straightaway, but we have serious heavy pressure from both our families to not get married until later on. We've decided to wait until after I graduate in May to figure it out.

Oh, and hi Stephanie! I'd love a new text buddy as well!

 

[QueSeraSera]

wow those are some crazy hours, but i guess it works out that his "night" is while youre at school. at least you arent missing out on a whole lot of time together! i bet a job like that is a lot more rewarding and enjoyable than working for a store where youre just another replaceable employee. i worked at target one summer, i know how a job like that can be!

i understand completely about waiting until yall are in the right spot before getting married. i got married while i was in university, but that was only because im in a seven year doctoral program...im only getting out this semeter. i just couldnt wait two whole years! im too impatient. but we did hold off on me going off of BC until we were sure that, even if i got pregnant right away, i wouldnt have the baby until after graduation! lol

 

[emilylynn18]

That's exactly how OH and I played it. We made sure that if I got pregnant, I'd be graduated before the baby was born. It worked out quite well.

So what type of a doctor are you going to use? OH and I have decided that an OB-Gyn would be best for me. I had a chemical pregnancy once before, and I've had some issues with periods and stuff, so an OB-Gyn would work.

 

[QueSeraSera]

yea i think that is the best way to go about it. it would have been pretty bad for me to have a newborn while i was trying to finish my thesis! better to get that stuff out of the way first.

in the military you have to choose between the midwives and the ob doctors. i think i am going to see a regular ob doctor. with the midwives there is no choice for an epidural, but with the ob doctor there is. right now, im hoping not to have an epidural...but i want to at least have the option to have one if i change my mind when the time comes!! lol.