Pregnant again, after miscarriage in 2010..

[CassyLove]

Hey all.. I am new to this site..
I had a missed miscarriage due to low progesterone in May of 2010. It was my first time pregnant. I found out I am pregnant again on the 12th of January..I am exactly 6 weeks today. I know I should be excited and happy right now, and I'm trying so hard to be too..It just seems like everytime I do get happy all the bad memories flood back to me also. I know how I should feel, but the past keeps eating at me and I am so afraid of a repeat. I am scared to get my hopes up and set myself up for another disappointment. It was so hard and painful.. I am just here venting how I feel and looking for others who might be having some of the same feelings I'm having. I know this is a happy time and pregnancy is a miracle, but everytime I feel my symptoms ease or anything like that, I start to get paranoid that it's happening all over again, even though I have read it's normal that they will come and go. It was devastating for us, as we have tried for so long. Sometimes I feel so alone though, it's hard because your family doesn't want to hear you say negative things..I know mine tell me to hush and that I'm just borrowing trouble..
Does anyone else have any of these worries or feel similar to the way I do??

 

[BlueBoo]

Hi, don't worry, I feel exactly the same. I had a MMC in June last year, and am now 7 weeks. We have always known that we would find a second pregnancy really hard to deal with and while we are obviously really pleased, we have been totally unable to feel the joy and excitement that we should be feeling. On the rare occasions that I even refer to it I say 'if' we have a baby, not 'when'.
I have hardly had any symptoms (although today I am completely dizzy and nauseous for the first time), so I keep on thinking about what happened before, trying to make comparisons with how I felt then, almost like I'm preparing myself for the worst to happen again.
I'm sure it's only natural for us to have this fear, what happened to us both is just awful especially after trying for such a long time. It's just so hard to believe it won't happen again.
I just try to tell myself that the chances are slim, try to be positive, there's nothing I can really do about anything, and just hope really. I'm having an early scan on Monday but even then, it's so early I know I'll still worry afterwards.

Try to relax and put things out of your mind. Easier said than done, I know. Hope you manage to xx

 

[Pippin]

Hey hon we all know how you feel. I felt very detached until we reached 12 weeks now I'm feel much happier and starting to enjoy it all again.

 

[K4tiemay]

I'm with you ladies. I had mmc in November and I'm now pregnant again. I am constantly comparing the feelings to see if it's different, but it's very hard to tell. I felt very nauseous last time, and if anything it's not as bad this time. I wouldn't expect that to be a good sign. I think I feel more stretching - but it could be all in my head.
I hope we all have successful pregnancies this time around. I'd be interested to hear how you get on.
My dating scan is 18th Feb - I just have to hang on to my sanity until then.
xx

 

[CassyLove]

Thank you all for your replies, it helps a lot to hear from other people going through the same thing. I agree, I'm trying to stay hopeful and put it all in God's hands, trusting it will turn out alright.. I am happy and excited, then again scared and nervous. I know that it is completely normal to feel this way after having gone through the devastation of a miscarriage. It took 7 months for us to get pregnant again after the miscarriage and just happened to conceive near or on our 7 year anniversary, which I thought was pretty sweet. I talked to my doctors nurse this morning and she told me that my progesterone has not gone down, so we are hoping like crazy that is a good sign this time.. Right now I am just so terrified of having my first ultrasound and afraid there won't be a heartbeat like last time. I never got to see or hear it before. It will just kill me.. But like I said I am going through the mixed emotions, happy one minute sad the next. I hope everything turns out great for y'all and we can make it through this one healthy and happy! We should share our updates to give us hope and reassurance. Good luck to each of you )

 

[sailing_girl]

Oh CassyLove, I feel the exact same way! All those horrible memories of what happened before really taints what should be a joyous time in our lives. When is your first scan? Seeing the heartbeat is amazing and makes you feel good for about 3 hours.....or if you're lucky, maybe a day. Then, if you're like me, the worrying starts again. I think we just have to stay as positive as we can and know that everything will work out as it should. Good luck to you!!

 

[fifemum85]

Know how uz feel. Had 2 miscarriages Summer 2010 and decided to give up for a while. Got a bfp in Jan this year so Im now 6wks (I haven't passed the 6 week mark). Absolutely a worrying wreck! I check the TP all the time and the slightest pains set me off - thinking Not again!
I got an early scan yesterday and saw baby's heartbeat. I am over the moon but cant help worrying all the same. Does it ever really stop? I hope I settle a little after 12 weeks. My DD is looking forward to having a brother or sister, so hoping all goes well. It's not nice having to explain to her baby's not there.
Good luck and baby dust to you all! x x

 

[MrsF123]

I'm sorry that there are so many of you who feel the same as me but I hope it's ok to say, it makes me feel not so alone. I had a missed miscarriage in August 2010 at 11 weeks and am pregnant again. I have never been so frightened and worried. I've managed to get to 14 weeks and I know this should be a good sign but I'm still frightened. I don't think it's helped that I've had two major bleeds at 11 and 13 weeks but they just said it could be for a number of reasons-low lying placenta, fibroids or a cervical polyp?! I really hope that I can start feeling more positive and instead of saying... If I have a baby and say When I have a baby. It's just hard. I know I should beclucky that I'm 14 weeks but it's just the way I feel. I wish I could be excited like other couples at 14 weeks but I can 't. I'm missing out on the pregnancy if it does continue because I'm so anxious.

 

[Lumboo]

I had a second mmc in December last year (first was before I had my son), and got my BFP at the weekend. I feel excited and so happy to be blessed again, but am afraid of getting too happy in case it all goes wrong again. I have no cause given to the mc, and have been told there is no reason for it to happen again, but that doesn't help. I am trying to keep away from statistics on the internet too, as that worries me even more.

Tried to talk to DH about it, but he started talking about train magazines so I don't think he was really listening. Logically I know that no amount of worrying changes anything, but you can't help yourself. I try to be all 'Oh what will happen, will happen' but you can't really turn your emotions off this way can you?!

When I was pregnant with my son after my first mc I enjoyed every moment of being pregnant again. I can't understand why I can't feel the same attitude at the moment. I hope it eases off as I do want to enjoy the pregnancy fully. I am talking to the baby everyday though, so at least I haven't stopped myself doing that - silly as it sounds - I would hate to feel I couldn't bond at all due to my fear.

Hope everyone else is doing well today and sending you all big hugs Xxx

 

[MrsF123]

Hello Lumboo. It is so hard to relax and we should be able to enjoy our pregnancies. I hope things carry on well for you. xxx

Does anyone have any ways of reassuring themselves things are ok? Or any ways of coping?

Because I have had stomach pains from the offset and because I have bleed, I can't just rely no pain and no blood as a sign things are still ok. xx