Pregnant and dreading breast-feeding (very embarrassed)

[beija_flor]

Hi everyone,

Breast-feeding seems to be a very sensitive issue on many points, so I hope I won't offend anyone here.

I've tried to bring up this issue with my family and friends and they all look at me like I'm nuts, so I basically want to know if any of you have experienced this.

I'm 21 and pregnant for the first time, I feel very positive about everything (including the birth), but I absolutely dread the notion of breast-feeding.

Just for the record, I am not one of those creeps who thinks breast-feeding is unnatural and how dare women do it in public, etc. At all. I'm not a judgmental person. And I know how important it is for my baby's health, which is definitely why I'm going to do it even though I dread it.

My issue is that I am extremely modest about my body. The only people who ever see me unclothed are my husband and doctors. Not even my best girlfriends or my mom. I've always been that way and I foresee no change in myself once I give birth.

It's not body issues per se. I don't feel embarrassed about my doctors seeing me and being naked with my husband is natural and fine. But other people - especially strangers? I've seen some photos on the breastfeeding pics page, and I think they're beautiful, but for example there's no way - not in a million years - I could bring myself to take a photo of my breasts with a baby sucking on them, let alone post it. And when people who know I'm pregnant say well-intentioned but teasing things about breastfeeding, I feel so embarrassed and always blush. I don't want people to know I'll be breastfeeding, let alone see me.

So part of the reason I dread it is I guess I feel so strongly embarrassed that I'll be staying home for six straight months, because I'd die if milk even leaked through my shirt.

The dumbest thing about all of this is that I was raised to view breastfeeding as beautiful and natural, which I do. And also - even worse - I'm a medical student!

Any advice for me?

EDIT: also of importance, and perhaps the stupidest thing of all - I even feel embarrassed about my baby looking at my breasts.

 

[polo_princess]

Sorry no advice but didnt want to read and run.

Hopefully some of the other mums who BF may be able to give you some words of wisdom to make you feel better!!

 

[Pyrrhic]

You can express milk into a bottle for when you're out, so that you don't have to breastfeed in public.

You can also alter feeds between breast and formula, so you don't have to exclusivly feed breast milk.

Also, you can wear breast pads so that you don't leak through. They are very discreet, and in fact I wear them now as you may have some leaks during the pregnancy.

Have you talked to your MW about your concerns?

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I think it is normal for a young woman to have embarrassed feelings towards breastfeeding... I don't know what to say hough, because I have always been set on breastfeeding... I don't breastfeed in public often, and I usually just go into the family washroom to breastfeed. I have breastfed once in our car in the mall parking lot while I waited for OH to get done paying bills, but if your main issue is other people not seeing your breasts, it can still be done!!

 

[JaydensMommy09]

i am not speaking from experience but I think once you start breast feeding that when it comes time to feed your little one in public you will just do it and not think of what you are doing.. once the baby cries you will do ANYTHING to soothe your child. You will become more comfortable with the idea after you have started....

 

[Serene123]

I felt like this before having Caitlyn. I wanted to bottle feed because of it. However, after going through labour and numerous people seeing my watsit all I wanted to do was nurse my baby! I wanted her on my breast and I didn't care who was watching!!

 

[Wife]

Don't feel bad and don't worry about what other people think. Who cares? If you want to bf in private then do it with confidence! If you aren't comfortable with popping out a boob and posting it on Facebook then that's fine. There's no reason for anyone to make you feel bad about that.

Personally unless something in my personality drastically changes I won't be breastfeeding. I too am very private and the whole idea is too invasive for me. I don't care what peoples opinions of that are, but I'm like that with all of my life choices- from homebirth, to homeschooling, to everything else I do or plan to do- I don't care how people see it.

Do what you feel comfortable with. Maybe you'll get over it and maybe you won't. Everyone is different and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

[Samantha675]

Well the nice thing is love, you have total control over who sees what. I promise you don't have to get all your breast out to feed, especally in public. I have found that wearing a tank top under my tops is the best solution. I just pull the top shirt up and the top of the tank down, and it is enough for nipple access and no one can see anything else.

As for leaking in public, this doesn't happen to every one, I am not a leaker at all. Even when my son is nursing, and pulls off, I only drip. So you could be the same way.

You can also get a nurseing cover like this:

https://www.gerard-lin.com/lin/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/hh_hooter-hider.gif

It will cover you and the baby.

There are loads of ways to keep your modesty and still nurse. But like Wife said, you gotta do what you are comfortable with. Good luck hun.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I felt like this before having Caitlyn. I wanted to bottle feed because of it. However, after going through labour and numerous people seeing my watsit all I wanted to do was nurse my baby! I wanted her on my breast and I didn't care who was watching!!

Same here, I really don't care who sees me... When I have my best friends over I don't want to leave the room, so both of them have seen my breasts likely while I have fed her... After giving birth I just don't think much could make me feel uncomfortable!!

 

[mmoon1]

At the end of the day sweetie its your body and you should never feel pressured into doing anything you dont want to. Sure you can express for public and feed in private and thats great but you know whats also great? Ejoying your baby and being a mum and if breast feeding really fills you with so much dread and will increase anxiety about being a mum then dont do it. Plenty of babies are perfect without breast milk, some parents cant do it at all due to health reasons, some just chose not to and so long as your baby gets fed, it really doesnt matter a huge deal. Ive seen so many ladies with PND because they have felt such pressure to BF and in my HO Id rather a happy mummy than a depressed mummy as no matter how you feed your baby, its ultimately your love for them that makes them thrive.

Good luck! xx

(NB: Im not anti breast feeding, did BF my son but if shes that scared of it....)

 

[mBLACK]

Trust me - you won't feel embarassed after you give birth. So many people will be seeing your body, so many different nurses doctors people who come to see you, etc. that nothing will be a private matter anymore!
I too, was dreading breastfeeding BUT after countless people had seen my exposed body, nontheless stitched me up "DOWN THERE" & seen all the scarring, squeezed my boobs (i needed help BF'ing) I realized that BF'ing is nothing compared to the rest.

Good luck.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

Trust me - you won't feel embarassed after you give birth. So many people will be seeing your body, so many different nurses doctors people who come to see you, etc. that nothing will be a private matter anymore!
I too, was dreading breastfeeding BUT after countless people had seen my exposed body, nontheless stitched me up "DOWN THERE" & seen all the scarring, squeezed my boobs (i needed help BF'ing) I realized that BF'ing is nothing compared to the rest.

Good luck.

So true!!

 

[ryder]

I felt the same way as you do about it before I had my baby... Still do!

I did attempt to BF in the hospital and it was weird and I didn't like it... I even tried to do it at home alone a few times, but I still didn't like it.

Some people just arn't comfortable with it. Do what makes you enjoy your time with your LO.

 

[DNA0930]

My MIL was the same way, and as soon as her kids were born, got a shot to stop milk production. They were raised with formula, and she was happy.

I guess its not for everybody really. Don't be hard on yourself, do what makes you feel good. I wanted to bf, and I couldn't, and I beat myself up for it, even though it was out of my control (not enough milk for my little barracuda).

I absolutely believe that bf is the best start, but formula is a great alternative for those who don't want to, or can't bf. The only really bad part is the price!! LOL

 

[beija_flor]

Thanks to all of you, I'm not actually scared of breastfeeding, just shy about exposing myself that way in front of people.

I have a friend who's also a young mother and she's told me about men leering at her while she's trying to nurse in public, which horrified me!

I think the idea of breast-feeding in the car is great, especially since we have tinted windows.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

Thanks to all of you, I'm not actually scared of breastfeeding, just shy about exposing myself that way in front of people.

I have a friend who's also a young mother and she's told me about men leering at her while she's trying to nurse in public, which horrified me!

I think the idea of breast-feeding in the car is great, especially since we have tinted windows.

That's gross!! I don't see why they would do that!!! Unless they were curious... but yeah, there are a lot of different ways to get by in public without exposing your breasts!! So whatever you decide to do, the main thing is that you are comfortable!!

 

[beija_flor]

Thanks to all of you, I'm not actually scared of breastfeeding, just shy about exposing myself that way in front of people.

I have a friend who's also a young mother and she's told me about men leering at her while she's trying to nurse in public, which horrified me!

I think the idea of breast-feeding in the car is great, especially since we have tinted windows.

That's gross!! I don't see why they would do that!!! Unless they were curious... but yeah, there are a lot of different ways to get by in public without exposing your breasts!! So whatever you decide to do, the main thing is that you are comfortable!!

Pervs are pervs, she's a very cute young girl and I guess the fact that she was nursing her child, for pete's sake, didn't deter them.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I havent needed to BF in public lots yet but when I have I use a pashmina and no one can see anything. I've just bought a lovely poncho too for the same purpose and fortunately they are in fashion for winter too!!

 

[xCorkettex]

I think once your baby is born the feelings towards BF change, you do whats important for bubba and dont care what anyone else thinks.....
If you do it carefully no-one sees anything anyway x

 

[tinytoes]

hey - try and not worry. Chances are that once baby is here and those hormones are rushing through your body that you'll feel different. I thought I'd be shy and went and bought a very pretty nursing cover. I cant be bothere with that now and would much rather just pop a boobie out. Even I am suprised I've become one of those easy going breast feeding types! I was so sure i wouldnt - i didnt even want to be one!

Relax and just see how you go. With breast pads and a nursing cover you can be safe anyway.