Pregnant and dreading breast-feeding (very embarrassed)

[moomin_troll]

Dont beat urself up for feeling like this.

i tried to bf but had to stop it didnt suit me or zane but wen i was bf id do it infront of my sisters n mum n i never thought i would muslim squares are great for keepin baby n breat covered.

after uve given birth u really wont care lol

 

[jenstar]

At the start I was not so good at getting boob out and baby latched on "discreetly" but within about a week I think I was good at it.

When people were round my house and baby needed fed I would either:

1. go upstairs and lie in bed feeding him (took him ages feeding at the start about an hour so with any luck the visitors would have gone by the time I'd finished.)

2. when they said, "are you not going to feed him?" say "I will after you've gone" and they knew I was breastfeeding and would be shamed into leaving.

3. just breastfed in front of them, sometimes I sat on another chair or popped into another room to latch him on then came back into living room.

Can you tell that 1. and 2. apply mainly to nosy MIL?

It takes a bit of practice but it comes in the end!

 

[Heather.78]

hun completly normal, trust me once youve done it a few times it wont worry you but for going out because I dont like doing it in public, I bought a kari me sling and no one even knows Im feeding her its great

 

[Mervs Mum]

Hi hun

I thought about your post yesterday when my sisters best friend who is 34 wks pregnant with her second visited us.

I knew shed BFed her first baby but I didnt know this. She was dead agaist BFing before baby was born!! She didnt want to at all. She works for the fire brigade and there was a BF cafe/clinic held in their building and when she was pregnant the consultant was talking to her and she made her feelings known - she definately would not be doing that !! The woman told her how natural it was etc and she listened but she didnt change her mind.
When her baby was born she sais she looked at her in the hospital and thought 'I'll do it once for you then when we get home its gonna be bottles' So she nursed her and it wasnt so bad. Then they got home and she thought 'I cant be bothered to make a bottle so I'll just do it tonight then I'll get the steriliser out tomorrow....'
She nursed her for 6 months!!! She only stopped because her milk stopped when she fell pregnant again!!!! So its funny how things work out eh?! x

 

[Whisper]

I think it is completely normal to have those anxieties. I am a very very modest person at times i don't even like my hubby to see my naked. I also felt the same about doctors nurses anyone really.

But it is true what they say when you are in labour you honestly couldn't care less who sees you or what they see and the same goes for feeding your bubs. When i was in hospital after my LO was born i had several different midwives come round throughout the day helping me to latch her on. The fact that they could see my breast and sometimes had to guide it into her mouth didn't phase me at all. (sounds weird now lol)

The more you get used to it and the more comfortable you become with b/f you will find it a lot easier and i am pretty certain your anxieties will be completely forgotten about when it comes to feeding your LO.

My LO is now 3mnths old in the beginning i wouldn't even feed her with family around and now, just yesterday i was feeding her in a busy MacDonalds!

x

 

[Starflyr]

I felt the same before I had Brayden - nobody had seen ANY PART Of me that was private since I was able to wash myself as a child, now, I walk around topless at home LOL. Seriously, though, trust me, when you go through labor and delivery and have just about every person in the hospital looking and putting their hands up your hoo-haw, putting in catheters, etc etc etc, and then have the big surgical light on it for all to see everything during the actual pushing part, you lose a LOT of modesty. I didnt even have the big light bit as I ended up w/a c-section, but I had to have 3 people help me take a shower the next day b/c of the surgery.

My doula said that she could always tell what stage of labor a woman was in by how many clothes she was wearing LOL.

Think about how you look at patients. Are you looking at them and thinking "OMG, they have **** or wow, look at THAT!"? No, you arent. You're looking for landmarks, symptoms or whatever you need to look at to be able to treat them properly. As for other people once you get home - nobody need see anything but you and your hubby. Even your baby doesnt need to - the part that's exposed by the nursing bra is in the baby's mouth - they arent staring at it! Plus, for about the 1st 2 months, baby will likely sleep during feedings anyway, and after that will be too distracted to look at your boob! There are also great nursing covers that you can use out in public - I have one called a Peanut Shell, and it's great!

if it still wierds you out, you can always pump. Personally, though, I'd rather spend 10 minutes feeding brayden and be done with it instead of spending 20 minutes trying to get him to take a bottle then spending another 30 pumping every 3 hours, kwim?

*{*hugs*}*

My suggestion is to not make any firm decision until you are at that point. A LOT of things change with delivery. Buy a pump, cause you'll always want the odd bottle or whatever available, and go from there.

Star

 

[beija_flor]

Hi hun

I thought about your post yesterday when my sisters best friend who is 34 wks pregnant with her second visited us.

I knew shed BFed her first baby but I didnt know this. She was dead agaist BFing before baby was born!! She didnt want to at all. She works for the fire brigade and there was a BF cafe/clinic held in their building and when she was pregnant the consultant was talking to her and she made her feelings known - she definately would not be doing that !! The woman told her how natural it was etc and she listened but she didnt change her mind.
When her baby was born she sais she looked at her in the hospital and thought 'I'll do it once for you then when we get home its gonna be bottles' So she nursed her and it wasnt so bad. Then they got home and she thought 'I cant be bothered to make a bottle so I'll just do it tonight then I'll get the steriliser out tomorrow....'
She nursed her for 6 months!!! She only stopped because her milk stopped when she fell pregnant again!!!! So its funny how things work out eh?! x

Wow, I hope that happens to me...btw I love the name of your little girl!

 

[beija_flor]

I felt the same before I had Brayden - nobody had seen ANY PART Of me that was private since I was able to wash myself as a child, now, I walk around topless at home LOL. Seriously, though, trust me, when you go through labor and delivery and have just about every person in the hospital looking and putting their hands up your hoo-haw, putting in catheters, etc etc etc, and then have the big surgical light on it for all to see everything during the actual pushing part, you lose a LOT of modesty. I didnt even have the big light bit as I ended up w/a c-section, but I had to have 3 people help me take a shower the next day b/c of the surgery.

My doula said that she could always tell what stage of labor a woman was in by how many clothes she was wearing LOL.

Think about how you look at patients. Are you looking at them and thinking "OMG, they have **** or wow, look at THAT!"? No, you arent. You're looking for landmarks, symptoms or whatever you need to look at to be able to treat them properly. As for other people once you get home - nobody need see anything but you and your hubby. Even your baby doesnt need to - the part that's exposed by the nursing bra is in the baby's mouth - they arent staring at it! Plus, for about the 1st 2 months, baby will likely sleep during feedings anyway, and after that will be too distracted to look at your boob! There are also great nursing covers that you can use out in public - I have one called a Peanut Shell, and it's great!

if it still wierds you out, you can always pump. Personally, though, I'd rather spend 10 minutes feeding brayden and be done with it instead of spending 20 minutes trying to get him to take a bottle then spending another 30 pumping every 3 hours, kwim?

*{*hugs*}*

My suggestion is to not make any firm decision until you are at that point. A LOT of things change with delivery. Buy a pump, cause you'll always want the odd bottle or whatever available, and go from there.

Star

I love your post, thank you so much.

 

[mummymadness]

I agree with mmoon ..
If it really scares you hun dont push yourself to do something you think you must .

Most of all Bonding with your baby when it is first born is suppose to be a pleasurable and memorable moment , And you would hate to spend that time dreading and worrying allot , So do not feel ashamed or liek you have failed if you chose to bottle feed .

My advice would be to try after birth see how you feel it may feel compleatley naturual to you and your worrys may go without you even realise , And if not try the alternitive .

I wish you good luck in wich ever you decide . xxxxxxx.

 

[Momma2Violet]

This has been a good thread for me to read...this is my first child, and I'm 35, but I have many of the same misgivings (and other unnatural apprehensions) about breast feeding. I live in a very conservative part of the US and people equate breasts with sex, plain and simple. Women have been shamed into going to their car to nurse while in public (used to read about it in the paper frequently) and though I know (and I KNOW) it's the best thing for our little one, I still have these apprehensions. The only thing that I'm at least comfortable with is that if for whatever reason, breast feeding doesn't work out for me/us, then I won't beat myself up about it. It doesn't make me a bad mother, or bad person. It will be time management on my part as well, because I will have to go back to work after 6 weeks and I'll need to make a decision--pump, or switch to formula so that my husband and other folks can manage her care when I'm not around. I will also pump during the day so that at night, my husband can take a late feeding or two, to switch off sleepless nights. I also believe that he should bond with her instantly as well.

My thought it this: I'll give it a good, girlscout try, and that's all I can do.