pregnant and single

[indianorchi]

i just want to thank you all sooo much, im so glad i found this site, it keeps my mind off things and i can now see there is so many other people going fru the same or been fru the same situation.
i hope he will have something to do with the child, and i think he will.
if only lads could feel how we feel, we have to go fru so so much, they get it all easy.
Also as indianorchi said...i couldnt picture anyone else taking over the father role.

It is nice having somewhere to talk to people who are going through/have been through all the same things as you isn't it. I'm so glad I found this site!
I know so many people do it, marry into ready-made families etc but I just wouldn't feel comfortable. I'd hate to have another man bring up my child just like I'd hate to bring up another man's child if I was a man.

 

[graceS]

i feeel thats whats going to happen, they will all say ooohh poor craig bla bla bla because hes the one who does not want a child.
and even tho hes been so unfair, and t**t to me i cant help but love him.
all he is sayn atm is give it few months i think he needs to get his head round things, x

 

[indianorchi]

Easy for him to say! You don't get the choice to have a few months to get your head round things. I think men are just crap and we should all steer clear.

 

[graceS]

we both only 18 and 19 it shocked me and lads r soo behind it takes them longer to get there head rnd things

 

[indianorchi]

If he gets used to the idea and you want to be together then good luck
If not then although it's not ideal, you can get a lot of support being a single mum and there are loads on here who seem to be doing just fine.
Would be better if the boyfriends would just sort themselves out and become perfect boyfriends and dads though!

 

[graceS]

i dont think they will ever grow up xx

 

[LilMama2be]

:] Hey.
i'm 17. pregnant, and i broke up with my boyfriend (father of our baby to be). Because i knew he wasn't mature enough for any of this yet. Now, he's in rehab for 3ish months.
He's trying to change for me, the thing is i dont know if i want to get back with him when the baby is born.

I'm scared to death of what might happen to our baby if we don't know.
I dont know if he's good with kids, he says he is but you never know.

Raising a kid alone is not easy :] but i bet you can do it.
if not, theres a TON of adoption agencies, I was adopted and my biological mother got to go through tons of pictures and letters from family and choose out the perfect one.
You can even arrange an OPEN adoption :]

 

[Novbaby08]

Agreed, guys are stupid! Mine cheated on me at about 4 months and has generally been a pretty shitty boyfriend and people are full of sympathy for him. Aww he's only 17 he must be so scared. I'm only 18 think how scared I am! It's in my tummy I can't just decide I'm not ready and walk away! Makes me so angry arghhh rant rant rant lol.
I know having a father for the baby is meant to be so important but if they walk out then decide to come back when they see the gorgeous baby, don't fall for it!

my ex is only 17, well...18 next month, and his family treats him like a victim. I'm the one who has to endure child birth, the one who has to get up at night with a baby, I'm the one who's making the sacrifices. His mom looks at me like I'm the devil or something. How could I do this to him. How could he do this to me and walk away!? Guys are just as responsible as we are, whether or not they accept it is another question.
BTW he had another girl friend a couple days after he childishly dumped me on myspace. How ******ed is that, and apparently he was already sleeping with her. What a slut.

How frustrating is it!? His parents are the same but I was the one with plans to go to university etc and he had nothing planned for the future, had never even had a job. Don't get me wrong I love him to bits (why exactly I'm not sure) but it just really gets on my nerves when people treat him as a victim!

omg I know, he dropped out of school and has no job, I'm in college still and the only reason i don't have a job is nobody wants to hire me right now.

 

[indianorchi]

Are we secretly the same person?? I stayed at school to finish my exams, have been working Sundays as a waitress and looking for more work and he's been doing nothing.

 

[graceS]

i would not get rid of it.
i no i`ll cope and i no i have friends and family supporting but...its just i would of liked the ex goign fru it with me. x

 

[PixieKitty]

Hey lovely, don't worry, there are plenty of others in your situation. I was until I met Danny, I'm only 16 and when me and the father split I was worried like you, but then I accepted it and the minute I'd got used to the whole 'single mum' idea Danny came along!
So just keep your head high and your eyes open, there are plenty of good men out there, and regardless of what everyone told me I found one even with a little baby inside me!
Even without a man you can still be a fantastic mum, so don't worry about a thing

 

[MummytoOscar]

im new to this website as from this morning
im only 18, and pregnant!
My boyfriend (the father of the baby) broke up with me yesterday.
He says hes not happy and he dont want a child.
I was going for an abortion i went to the hospital, and the date was arranged but i cant bring my self to it.
now i have my self in mess single, young and feeel like crap.
does anyone no how im feeling at all?

Hey there,

Just read your post and thought that my best friends story might help. She was maybe 2 years older than you when she fell unexpectedly pregnant with her 1st baby, the father, who was a couple of years younger than her said he wasn't interested. He and his family tried their hardest to convince my friend that she should have an abortion, though she refused. The father has not had any contact whatsoever with my friend or their child since Dec '07. He doesn't pay CSA, he doesn't buy clothes, he hasn't even ever changed his own babies nappy. It was a struggle, but she had her family and friends to support her.

Now 2 1/2 years later and she has met someone else, they have their own house together, and a lil baby girl of their own. He's a great father to both of the girls, smashing! And treats my friend like a princess.

No doubt my friend felt just like you, but it wasn't long before things started getting better for her as I am sure it will do for you. You never know whats round the corner...

 

[graceS]

aww thank you all so much.
this site rele cheers me up
i just made new thread of the latest news ov what been said. xxxx

 

[Jkelmum]

I was 14 when this happened to me then again at 18 ...I now have 3 children and married to my youngest dad with another on the way ....I know its hard now but you will come thru this wishing you all the luck in the world if you ever wanna chat pm me
hugs Serina xx

 

[Novbaby08]

Are we secretly the same person?? I stayed at school to finish my exams, have been working Sundays as a waitress and looking for more work and he's been doing nothing.

lol....are we? lol

 

[Kris0309]

Everything will be ok. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my baby. Im also a junior in college. And like 2 weeks before i took a pt my b/f broke up with me for another girl (his ex) who didnt even like him. Then when i told him we gotback together and he was so excitted i was pregnant and it lasted 3 months until he left me. Now Im 5 months pregnant and 20 yrs old with a little boy. He still comes around and tells me he loves me and everything but I seen messages he sent and recieved abotu him seeing other people and going out drinking. So I just got to think of my baby. I want him to be in my sons life but you cant force someone so its ultimately his decision. Most of my family is being supportive in my decision tohave my baby. But keep your headup everything will workout in the end. dont let yourself get stressed over a guy and upset your baby its nto worth it.

 

[Eve]

Hi hun,

I know how you are feeling. I got pregnant with my first child at 17, delivered at 18. The father and I were not getting along at all and it was rough. I too contemplated abortion but couldn't do it. I went through my pregnancy sharing all of the milestones with my best friend and mother. When I delivered my friend and mother were in the room with me. It was scary and hard at times but I got through it and you will too. You have friends and family and even lots of people on here to help you through this. You can do it!! You made the right choice! God bless xxx

 

[graceS]

thank you all!
Well recently i have spoke and met up with my ex and things seem to be going very well.
He wants everything to do with the baby, he wants to come to scans and be there all the time.
We have also talked about me and him....we are taking things slowly...we text all the time and shared few little cuddles and kisses. =]
MY 12 week scan will get us back together as he is soooo exited, and cant wait till we go shopping!
He was the one who came running to me, i didnt bother getting in contact with him.
Hopefully he has now realised.
=]

 

[indianorchi]

thank you all!
Well recently i have spoke and met up with my ex and things seem to be going very well.
He wants everything to do with the baby, he wants to come to scans and be there all the time.
We have also talked about me and him....we are taking things slowly...we text all the time and shared few little cuddles and kisses. =]
MY 12 week scan will get us back together as he is soooo exited, and cant wait till we go shopping!
He was the one who came running to me, i didnt bother getting in contact with him.
Hopefully he has now realised.
=]

I'm really glad he came running to you and I hope he supports you all the way through, as a friend or boyfriend, whichever you decide is best xx

 

[elle777]

hey chin up you will do just fine...i dont know how you are feeling but my friend is a single mum and wouldnt have it any other way like leanne&bump says its his loss