Pregnant at 17. Need to talk to someone.

[mrs168]

Two days ago I found out I was pregnant. I was given birth control, failed to remember and here I am. I already told my mom. She's mad and isn't talking to me, she asked how I could be so stupid, how could I fail to remember one pill daily and how could my boyfriend not use a condom. I can't argue with her because I'm mad at myself for it too. I told her I loved her and I'm sorry that I disappointed her and all she could say is that she's sorry for me and my fetus. and she told me about statistics how its a high chance my child won't graduate high school and all of this. She did tell me to call the Ob tomorrow and I picked up some over the counter prenatal vitamins today. I've just been thinking if I really am ready for this baby. I'll be 18 in 3 months, my boyfriend and I both have fast food jobs and he's 21, I have a car, he doesn't. I want to be happy and confident about having this baby but all I can think about is being poor and not being ideal parents. Am I feeling this way because its a new thing and will I be more confident as the pregnancy progresses? Are there any teens out there who raised their children and wouldn't change a thing? Did your parents come around to the idea? I just have so many questions and right now my moms not in the position to answer me. I also plan on going to beauty school after high school and my boyfriend wants to get a better job and go to college. Any advice would really be helpful right now.

 

[teenmommy15]

Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to BnB! my names Bethany im 15 and im due June 18th with a baby girl My mom was pretty pissed about my pregnancy for a while to and she did come around to the idea she's definitely handling it alot better now. There are some days were i worry what kind of parent i'll be and then they'res others where im like im gonna be a fantastic mom and i cant wait for my little girl to be here. Its all about the hormones in the pregnancy to though my hormones have been a crazy messy roller coaster but im sure you and your boyfriend will be terrific parents!! its good that you have a car and its fantastic that you both have jobs fast food or not, my advice for the beauty school thing is either take a year off or try to find online courses Good luck!!

 

[mrs168]

Thank you! Even a little support helps a lot! During the day I will think about my future and one moment I'll be terrified and crying and the next I'll be so excited and picturing what the next years will be like. I'm only 4 weeks so if that's hormones I have a long journey ahead!

 

[Mandyblur]

I'm not a teenager myself anymore (wish i was though!!!)

But i got pregnant at 17 (had my son at 18), the first few months were hard, family were annoyed and not very supportive, my hormones were all over the place and i kept questioning whether i was ready.

10 years later i'm now pregnant with my 3rd and can honestly say with all my pregnancies i was questioning if it was the right thing, if i could be a good parent, if everything would work out.

This is all a normal part of pregnancy, all i can say is your hormones will calm down, your pregnancy will get a whole lot more exciting and family will soon come round to the idea and start enjoying the pregnancy with you.

Being a young mum is the best thing in the world, i would never change the age i was when i had my son - not in a million years!

The best way i found to help my family get used to it was to ask them about their pregnancies, and what i would need to buy for the baby, all of a sudden they would remember the excitement and involve themselves more.

Good luck to you hon, honestly being a parent is hard work, but it will be the most rewarding thing you have ever done x

 

[MommyGrim]

Hey! My name is Treslyn, I was pregnant at 16 and had my daughter at 17. At the time me and her father weren't together and it was really rough. My mother had SO many problems with it and was extremely angry for a long time, especially since I struggled in school for a while and actually did drop out of a traditional school and continued to finish my senior year in high school online. I graduated from high school while juggling raising my daughter alone. I'm now about to finish my second year of college and me and my daughters father have completely worked everything out, and are doing fantastic, getting married next year and are currently pregnant with #2!
I was pretty sure that when I got pregnant that my life was over and everything was going to be so horrible but what I realized is that it wasn't over it was just going to be different. Yes, you are going to miss out on things but at this point I couldn't imagine not having my little girl. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. I would go through every hardship that I went through the past 3 years over again 3 fold, just for her.

You should know that you can have a child and be successful! You will have to work twice as hard, but you will be twice as motivated because once you really connect with your baby you will do anything and everything you can do to make sure they are the happiest and healthiest they can be! Never underestimate what you can do. Plus, BnB is a wonderful support system and they helped me through my pregnancy, raising my daughter, and now the conceiving of my little bean. I love all the girls here and I'm sure you'll love them too once you're hear long enough!
I really hope you have an amazingly healthy and happy 9 months and if you ever want to talk you can PM me! =]

(Sorry for any errors, it's late and I'm tired lol)

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

Congrats and welcome

It's completely normal to feel the way you are feeling, it's a big thing to happen and it will ultimately change your life. I conceived my first at 17, delivered her at 18, had my second at 19 and expecting my third in a couple of weeks, at 21. I absolutely wouldn't change a thing about when I had my children or the way I have been bringing them up. My partner and I have been together over 5 years now and going strong despite not being engaged, although we had already moved in together before conceiving our first.

A job is a job at the end of the day. Continue with it if you can, and save as and when you can. Give yourself time to get your head around the idea of being pregnant and take things a day at a time. I hope your mum comes around soon, mine also flipped at finding out about my pregnancy, but she now dotes on my children, it's just a shock and not what she wanted for you. Despite what people think, being a young mother does NOT mean your child will not finish school etc etc, age is JUST a number.

 

[ClairAye]

Congratulations and welcome

I got pregnant at 16, I turned 17 around 10 weeks and 18 when my son was 4 months old, I definitely wouldn't change him for anything, yes being a mum is really hard, but it's amazing and so rewarding.

My parents wanted me to get rid of the baby, but a few short weeks after I told my mum she started coming around, my dad around 27 weeks.

It's great at least that you both have jobs, as a PP said, a job is a job at the end of the day

If you need to talk you can message me

 

[x__amour]

Hi sweetheart! Congratulations and welcome to BnB!
I'm Shannon, 21, and I have a 2 year old named Victoria "Tori".

I was about your age when I became pregnant with my LO. You will be able to finish high school though! You won't be very far along when you graduate so you will be okay. Your mom will come around, I promise. It's scary but it'll all be worth it.

 

[skyesmom]

hey hon! congratulations on your pregnancy. i'm not a teenager myself, i'm 29 as a matter of fact but i can tell you one thing: children change your life completely regardless of the age. weather you are in high school, college, working in a fast food or running the career of your dreams - becoming a mother is something beyond all these things and is always both exciting, overwhelming, scary, life-changing...

i know it's easier said then done, but try not to panic too much, as it won't lead you anywhere. your mom is just in shock and she'll come around it i am sure. she had her idea of the future you should have and this is not what she wished for you, which doesn't meant it is absolutely the worst possible thing FOR YOU. but as soon as the initial shock settles you'll see you all will start to enjoy it more.

i know you must have thousands of questions rumbling in your head now, but don't worry because you can't and you won't find all the answers to them in a day - and you know what - you don't need to find them in a day. take a deep breath when it overwhelms you and just give the things some time to unfold.

wishing all the best to you, your baby, your boyfriend and your family!

 

[Lucy139]

I got pregnant At 16 had my son at 17 my bf was 19 it's not easy but then again it's not easy if your 40 and having your first baby... Age doesn't reflect how good of a mother u will be, I worked in a solicitors and then went onto finish a college course my son is 4 now and I'm 22, bf is 23...my nan (I've always lived with my nan) wasn't angry but she wasn't pleased either, she soon got used to it though... I DEFO wouldn't change him for the world !! Congratulations and a happy and healthy 9 months xx

 

[Bradley202]

You will make it I had my first at 16 still finished high school. I was number 2 in fact I'm now 22 I have my Bachleors of Art from Howard. You can do anything you set your mind to

 

[Pheonixsmummy]

Hi there, I'm Tasha! I'm 16 in a month and will be 21 weeks as of tomorrow. I know exactly how you feel, in fact, I was pregnant 2/3 months before this pregnancy, so since I managed to get myself pregnant yet again, my parents were furious. Not only that, but the father of my baby is 4/5 years older than me and my sisters old friend. Talk about a lot to take in.

At first, I wanted nothing to do with my baby, and just wanted it gone. I was so disappointed in myself, I cried every night. Now, I love that I have decided to parent and can't wait to be a mom. I basically raised my now 10 year old sister, so this is second nature to me. My father did nothing but scream at me at first, but he has turned out to be my biggest support and is excited to be a grandparent! I can sure tell you it doesn't end up horrible like everyone seems to think or say.

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me

 

[lil lovey]

Hello:wave:Congrats and welcome to BnB I'm Lovey and I had my baby boy wen I was 17. I'll soon be 18..when I first told my mother she was extremely disappointed..it took her a couple of weeks to be happy..on the other hand. I waited for 6 weeks just to tell my dad as I was way to scared to tell him..when I did I was so :shocked: to hear that he aint happy. He was excited and couldn't w8 to meet his grandchild. The day I found out I was preggo I truly did thing I'd get an "A" and I'm so glad I didn't my son makes me so happy. He brings so much joy to me and my family..I'm currently doing my grade 12 which isn't that easy with the baby but I know it will b all worth it in the end...Good Luck

 

[Caitie44]

Hi! My name is Caitie, I'm 18, and found out I was pregnant when I was 17 as well. I was also disappointed in myself when I found out - and now at 10 weeks, I still get moments where I think "what have I done?". But those come and go, and more often than not I'm happy. I actually haven't told my parents yet - so I'm really no help to you there. This is my second pregnancy, however, my first ending up in miscarriage around 9 weeks - which only my mom knew about. So I'm fairly sure my mom will have a similar reaction to yours once I do manage to tell her.

I really do think your mother will come around. Like others have said, she only wants the best for you. Teenage pregnancy isn't exactly ideal for a lot of people. She knows it's going to be difficult, and I'm sure she's just worried about you. Unless she's a truly horrible person, I'm sure she'll come around eventually and be a huge support for you.

As for your worries, they're natural for any pregnant woman. It's pretty overwhelming, but with time it'll become a lot easier. If you have any questions or just want to chat, I'm always available through PM! Sorry if this whole post seemed impersonal, too. I'm really bad about that! Lol.

 

[magic93]

Hey hun, congrats & welcome!
My name is Lisa im 19 and two days overdue with my son!
Let me just say its normal to feel that way about an unplanned pregnancy no matte

 

[magic93]

Hey hun, congrats & welcome!
My name is Lisa im 19 and two days overdue with my son!
Let me just say its normal to feel that way about an unplanned pregnancy no matter what your age. Your feelings will change alot along the course of your pregnancy... Its jus the beginning of those crazy hormones. Your mom will come around too itll take a little time for her to adjust as well. It sounds to me like you are at a good place and are mature. Its good that both you and your boyfriend are working.. I suggest saving up as much as possible! Everything will work out tho, it takes alot of work but itll be worth it!!

 

[chelsealynnb]

Hi,

I had my first son when I was 16. My mom was very supportive. The best thing I think I can say about being a teen parent is that it's only as hard as you make it. If you don't graduate high school, don't go on to college, stay with a partner who brings you down (not saying yours is - just seems like there are a lot of immature guys out there) then yes, your life will be extremely hard.

I graduated high school 6 months early because I attended school, and then after school I went to credit recovery to get ahead. I really wanted to get high school out of the way because not having a high school diploma was not an option for me. After high school, I went to college and got my medical assisting license. I knew for me to give the life I wanted to give to my son that I had to go to college, there was no choice. I just recently purchased my own home, have a job that I love and am still in school pursuing a bachelors/masters degree.

I think the statistic about children of teen mothers not graduating high school is only because teen mothers themselves are less likely to graduate, and children follow the example their parents set for them most of the time. I believe the statistic of "children to high school drop outs are less likely to graduate high school themselves" rather than just "children of teen mom's less likely to graduate".

What you need to do now is take into consideration what life you want your child to have, and then give your child that life. If you don't think you'll graduate high school, go to college, etc then maybe adoption is the right choice for you. If you think you are able to provide a great life for your child, then you will. The only thing standing in your way is yourself. Age is not an excuse. There are many bad statistics out there about teen mothers, but only you can prevent yourself from falling into that category. Try not to take other people's opinions into consideration too much. I know it's hard to hear hurtful things from people you love, but the truth is that they have high expectations for you because they love you. The best way to reverse that disappointment is to prove to everyone that you are smart enough, strong enough and competent enough to pull through the struggle successfully and be a great parent and provide a great life for your child.

Good luck, I hope everything works out the way you want it to

 

[jozylynn896]

Being prwgnant and having a baby is the most life changing thing in the whole world! Of course its scary and will be questioned!
I know it feels like the whole world is looking down on you right now but trust ne it will all be worthit when you see that littlw baby in there. Once your belly starts to grow. Once you feel fluttets, then kicks and squirms.
I'm due in two weeks and I'm so excited! I still get so nervous. The other day i found myself crying to my friend asking things like, will i be a good mommy? What if he gets sick, i have to be tje one to take care of him? Like our moms did us? I have that responsibility now?
Its scary scary scary!
But you'll be amazed at how this 'fetus' in your stomach can turn into the thing you lovw the most.
My mom was very supportive right off the bat. Ahe was happy as she knows my OH and i would make fine parents and that she would be a grandma.
When we found out it was a boy everyone just died! Lol!
We've never had a man in the house. It was always my single mom and my 3 sister and myself.
But things definatley DO get better.
I was absolutely terrified in the beginning, wondering if i should bring thia poor life into the world, how I'd do it, what would i do?
But now its just more "well i guess i gitta find a way".
It all becomes worth it.
Good luck.
Btw, I'm Kristina. I'm 16 and 38 weeks with my little boy William.