Prepping older kids for home birth

[fionar]

Just a giggle from my son...

We're starting to occasionally watch birth videos (prescreened, I watch them a few times first and make sure I've got answers to questions I think might come up when we watch them together and all that) with our son to prepare him for what birth might look like or sound like, since we're planning to have him home with us. (There are backup plans in case he's not interested or is freaked out or anything like that, but him being at home is the best-case scenario for us.)

We watched this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZJgt4Zwggw&list=PL6dEnnlE_mbBaSINLKvPb0IlTfLBrRAiQ&index=2 last night (water birth, VERY quiet mama, older sibling comes in at the end, baby's pretty clean, but there's brief mention of there being blood in the water), and he watched it with this big grin on his face, asked questions, all that.

When we were done, he looks at me and says "But mom, I think I'm just going to stay down here while you're in the bathtub."

For some reason the way he said it so matter-of-factly was just hilarious in the moment. BUT, I'm really glad he watched the video with a big smile and was more curious than freaked out. We talked about how sometimes it can hurt to help a baby come and that mommy has to work REALLY hard and use a LOT of muscles and he was all good with it. My husband told me when I had him, I wasn't much louder than the mama in that video, too, so... we'll see.

Anywho. How are all of you prepping older siblings, if you're planning to have them be at the birth, or how DID you prep older siblings who were or had planned to be present? Any funny stories? I'm getting totally in to this and love hearing how other kiddos respond to stuff like this.

 

[Sam Pearson]

With my second birth my son was older, 9.5yo, and he took it all in his stride including being on poop scoop duty. With the subsequent births my older children were all sound asleep and emerged from their rooms to find their baby sisters already born.

I really like the book Hello Baby for preparing siblings for homebirths.

 

[aliss]

Mine was only 26 months so he didn't really get it. Fortunately, labour started at 11pm and by the time he was up at 7am (I was in transition), yelling loudly (kept him upstairs as I didn't want to upset him), my sister just put on the Disney channel and blared Special Agent Oso. I still associate this show with transition/pushing now. He had no idea what happened, just that he went to bed and there was a new brother the next morning

 

[fionar]

Mine was only 26 months so he didn't really get it. Fortunately, labour started at 11pm and by the time he was up at 7am (I was in transition), yelling loudly (kept him upstairs as I didn't want to upset him), my sister just put on the Disney channel and blared Special Agent Oso. I still associate this show with transition/pushing now. He had no idea what happened, just that he went to bed and there was a new brother the next morning

Hahaha, that's excellent.

I'm kind of hoping that's how it ends up for me, too (going in to labor while he's either at day care or asleep and he can wake up/come home to a new sibling) but I know if we don't prepare him, he'll be there for it and be totally freaked out.

 

[rachiedata]

Mine will be 27 months at the time of the birth, so I'm guessing he won't really be too interested either. Though I don't want to send him away, and that half the point of a home birth is minimising disruption to the family, he is so clever and into everything and interested in all kinds that I can't imagine being able to concentrate on the business at hand if he's in the room or running about - having focused on his so much for over 2 years I can't imagine that he's there and not the centre of my attention! Any other mums feel this way? My ideal is for MIL to come and stay for the night, that we call her as soon as we think it's happening and she can stay and distract him!

Though I know he'd be good as gold if he was present, and interested... hmm...

 

[bassdesire]

We talked about birthing sounds and my older daughter played in the birthing tub weeks before. She was with me wt all my homebirth appointments etc. In the end, it was too distracting for her to be in the room with me so our sitter played with her, which she appreciated. She was napping when the baby was born lol.

 

[NaturalMomma]

Cute!

We've watched tons of videos and looked at pictures. They are both very excited (they are almost 6 and 3) and seem to understand that baby is coming out of mommy and all that. However, ds2 does think baby is coming out of my belly button since it has popped to an outie.

 

[aliss]

Cute!

We've watched tons of videos and looked at pictures. They are both very excited (they are almost 6 and 3) and seem to understand that baby is coming out of mommy and all that. However, ds2 does think baby is coming out of my belly button since it has popped to an outie.

It's perfectly logical when you think about it!

 

[fionar]

Cute!

We've watched tons of videos and looked at pictures. They are both very excited (they are almost 6 and 3) and seem to understand that baby is coming out of mommy and all that. However, ds2 does think baby is coming out of my belly button since it has popped to an outie.

That was my son's initial concern, too. I just assured him that's not how it goes down.

Do you have any videos you really liked or that your children reacted especially well to? I've got a playlist on YouTube and we're just going one at a time through those, but I'd love to have more!

 

[lynnikins]

so far my babies have all been born at a time of day their siblings have been asleep only the last one was born at home but the boys had no idea that id had the baby, got transfered and come home again when they got up they came in to find me in bed and AJ in the bassinet beside me and we had a nice little welcome party for AJ in my bed

 

[lynnikins]

My plan last time was to have the boys entertained out of the home had they been awake but this time i am likely to have to do a bit more prep work with them

 

[ljo1984]

Awwww I used to watch these you tube videos with Imogen and she still loves baby shows, repeats of obem was on a channel a couple months ago through the day and she cried when I told her no more were on, lol. I'm very quiet in labour/birth and I so so wish I hadn't of transferred as it was day time and she will have seen her baby sister born. Maybe next time.

 

[fides]

so far my babies have all been born at a time of day their siblings have been asleep

that's what i'm hoping for - he just turned 14 months, so he doesn't even understand that there is a baby on the way. i hope this one comes while he's asleep now that he's pretty sound as a sleeper at night - emotionally, he's very touchy and i think if he sees me in pain and crying/screaming, it's only going to get him upset. then again, maybe it won't hurt so much this time around - one can hope!

 

[ljo1984]

Imogen was watching obem yesterday on 4od, and she was all awwwww babies etc so I asked if mummy should have another, and mentioned the pool. But NO she just wants her Freya!!! Very cute but good job she doesn't have the deciding vote lol.

 

[lynnikins]

so far my babies have all been born at a time of day their siblings have been asleep

that's what i'm hoping for - he just turned 14 months, so he doesn't even understand that there is a baby on the way. i hope this one comes while he's asleep now that he's pretty sound as a sleeper at night - emotionally, he's very touchy and i think if he sees me in pain and crying/screaming, it's only going to get him upset. then again, maybe it won't hurt so much this time around - one can hope!

This time you know whats comming so hopefully will be better mentally prepared for it