probably being stupid but...

[scottishgal89]

is anyone scared of never finding someone who makes them happy and who you can settle down with?
im only 20 but i feel like im gonna be alone forever now and that no-one will want me because i've had a baby and my bodys not the same as before- stretch marks and stuff.
but then again maybe i just feel like that cause that asshole put me down for so long and made me feel low
im not sure but i just wanted to share cause wondered if anyone feels the same?

 

[Laura2919]

Yes! I am super scared but if you believe I am sure it will happen!

I am 23 and i was with Chloe and Jaycee's dad for 5 yrs. I have put on weight and looked like a mess for far too long. One day I hope I will find that one that makes me happy!!!

xx

 

[lou_w34]

Yeah i know how you feel, im only 21, but i cant ever imagine being with someone now, i just cant see how someone would wanna be with me, i look a right state most days, and i cant seem to shift the baby weight (then again, im not really trying either i just want it to magically fall off lol)

Its just easier to know that your going to be alone forever, rather then hoping/waiting to meet someone, then being dissappointed when it nevers happens... if that makes sense lol

xx

 

[scottishgal89]

Yeah i know how you feel, im only 21, but i cant ever imagine being with someone now, i just cant see how someone would wanna be with me, i look a right state most days, and i cant seem to shift the baby weight (then again, im not really trying either i just want it to magically fall off lol)

Its just easier to know that your going to be alone forever, rather then hoping/waiting to meet someone, then being dissappointed when it nevers happens... if that makes sense lol

xx

thats exactly how i feel! its a crap feeling.
i do want to find someone else but then i dont want to be hurt again either...
it would put me and small fry threw a whole load of pain all over again xx

 

[faun]

Just wanted to share my story girls, i had my oldest at 18 my bf dumped me when Callem was about 6 months old. It had been a violent relationship and he hit me a lot and put me down said i was worse then the stuff he scraped of his shoe but i still stupidly loved him or thought i did. When he dumped me I felt like crap and thought no one would ever want me with a baby and all the stretch marks etc to prove myself right i went through a spiral of bad choices one night stands, etc. I realise now i was doing it because i felt so rejected and worthless, anyway one day when i was about 20 a man knocked at my door looking for someone he got the wrong house but he was soo hot! Anyway i kept him talking for a bit and he went and i thought nothing of it a few days later he knocked on my door and asked me out for a picnic so Callem could come as well! 10 years on we have 2 of our own children as well as Callem and are happily married. It just goes to show that love will find you even if you aren't looking and there are some very special men out there who don't see a single mother as a bad thing at all. I hope that one day you will all meet your special someone to who will love and cherish you and your lo's.

 

[scottishgal89]

Just wanted to share my story girls, i had my oldest at 18 my bf dumped me when Callem was about 6 months old. It had been a violent relationship and he hit me a lot and put me down said i was worse then the stuff he scraped of his shoe but i still stupidly loved him or thought i did. When he dumped me I felt like crap and thought no one would ever want me with a baby and all the stretch marks etc to prove myself right i went through a spiral of bad choices one night stands, etc. I realise now i was doing it because i felt so rejected and worthless, anyway one day when i was about 20 a man knocked at my door looking for someone he got the wrong house but he was soo hot! Anyway i kept him talking for a bit and he went and i thought nothing of it a few days later he knocked on my door and asked me out for a picnic so Callem could come as well! 10 years on we have 2 of our own children as well as Callem and are happily married. It just goes to show that love will find you even if you aren't looking and there are some very special men out there who don't see a single mother as a bad thing at all. I hope that one day you will all meet your special someone to who will love and cherish you and your lo's.

thank you so so much for sharing this with me!!
shows that the situation i have been in can actually progress into something way better.
after being in a violent relationship did u find it hard to trust someone? was he understanding? how did u manage to get your self confidence back?
sorry for the questions!

 

[AppleBlossom]

I'm the same. FOB mentally abused me for a long time, making me think that I had to stay with him because nobody else would have me. I have had a relationship since then and it didn't work out. I'm sure you'll find somebody. My mum found my now dad when I was about 3/4 and they have been married about 15 years and have 2 other children. There's hope for us all yet lol

 

[faun]

After coming out of the violent relationship i was in a really bad place i did some really stupid things i wasn't ready for a relationship for a while as i found it really hard to let go i had one night stands as i was scared to sleep next to someone as i thought they would attack me while i was sleeping stupid i know but thats when he used to hit me the most he once cut off my hair while i was asleep. When i started dating my now hubby we had a long chat about stuff, for the first 6 months it was more of a friendship we both fancied each other but i wasn't ready to take things further then kissing. As we took things really slow i slowly learnt to trust him and when we did finally have sex it was so nice to wake up next to someone who i could trust. It took a long while for me to get my confidence back and at the start when he told me i was beautiful it made me cringe i thought there must be something wrong with him if he felt that way about me i was a mess. I went to the doctors and explained everything they didn't do anything but it felt so good to get it all out without being judged. I think looking back that my best friend was time they say time heals all wounds and for me it was true. I am just so grateful that my hubby was so understanding about things which i think is what helped me the most there was no pressure.

 

[scottishgal89]

thanks so much for sharing even though its probably not a easy thing to talk about.
maybe i should try not to be so down about it then. just feel pretty crap about myself and like no-one would want me.
i totally know what you mean about the beautiful thing, a guy im friends with said that to me and i told him to shut up, i dont believe it for a second
xx

 

[lou_w34]

Yeah i know how you feel, im only 21, but i cant ever imagine being with someone now, i just cant see how someone would wanna be with me, i look a right state most days, and i cant seem to shift the baby weight (then again, im not really trying either i just want it to magically fall off lol)

Its just easier to know that your going to be alone forever, rather then hoping/waiting to meet someone, then being dissappointed when it nevers happens... if that makes sense lol

xx

thats exactly how i feel! its a crap feeling.
i do want to find someone else but then i dont want to be hurt again either...
it would put me and small fry threw a whole load of pain all over again xx

Exactly... i dont want to be alone, but i dont want to meet another man like my ex as its not just me anymore to think about...



xx

 

[lou_w34]

Just wanted to share my story girls, i had my oldest at 18 my bf dumped me when Callem was about 6 months old. It had been a violent relationship and he hit me a lot and put me down said i was worse then the stuff he scraped of his shoe but i still stupidly loved him or thought i did. When he dumped me I felt like crap and thought no one would ever want me with a baby and all the stretch marks etc to prove myself right i went through a spiral of bad choices one night stands, etc. I realise now i was doing it because i felt so rejected and worthless, anyway one day when i was about 20 a man knocked at my door looking for someone he got the wrong house but he was soo hot! Anyway i kept him talking for a bit and he went and i thought nothing of it a few days later he knocked on my door and asked me out for a picnic so Callem could come as well! 10 years on we have 2 of our own children as well as Callem and are happily married. It just goes to show that love will find you even if you aren't looking and there are some very special men out there who don't see a single mother as a bad thing at all. I hope that one day you will all meet your special someone to who will love and cherish you and your lo's.

Thats a nice story
There may be hope for us yet then

xx

 

[Laura2919]

Thats such a nice story! Hope it happens to me sometime. I wouldnt wanna be single forever! lol xx

 

[jamielou]

I know how your feeling hun. I just always think men won't want me because they all see Archie as "baggage" and that. Doesn't help any guy i like gets cold feet then just wants to be "friends" but i so know how you feel. I'm sure we will all find someone one day xx

 

[vermeil]

ok I'm not quite in the same scenario BUT - I was resigned to think I'd be single and childless forever. Then I met the man of my dreams at 34, got married at 36 and will give birth to our first at 38. Life is full of wonderful surprises, there are just a few small speedbumps in the way sometimes *hugs*

 

[Laura2919]

ok I'm not quite in the same scenario BUT - I was resigned to think I'd be single and childless forever. Then I met the man of my dreams at 34, got married at 36 and will give birth to our first at 38. Life is full of wonderful surprises, there are just a few small speedbumps in the way sometimes *hugs*

Its nice to hear them stories.

I dont we would be human if we didnt think someone wouldnt want us!!

We will all get there someday and look back and go ha! Look at me now!! xxx

 

[lola84]

Hi ladies...I'm not a single mummy and hope you don't mind me intruding but I saw your post and wanted to reply.

My brother's fiancee was a single mummy when he met her - she was 21 at the time with a baby of 2 months and felt like noone would ever want her after FOB left at 13 weeks preg.

My brother fell head of heels for her and her beautiful baby and they are now engaged and looking to buy a house together!

I've seen some of your pics on here and you're gorgeous girlies (just like my lovely SIL to be!! ) and any man would be lucky to have you and your perfect LOs in their lives!!!

 

[Laura2919]

Hi ladies...I'm not a single mummy and hope you don't mind me intruding but I saw your post and wanted to reply.

My brother's fiancee was a single mummy when he met her - she was 21 at the time with a baby of 2 months and felt like noone would ever want her after FOB left at 13 weeks preg.

My brother fell head of heels for her and her beautiful baby and they are now engaged and looking to buy a house together!

I've seen some of your pics on here and you're gorgeous girlies (just like my lovely SIL to be!! ) and any man would be lucky to have you and your perfect LOs in their lives!!!

Thank you for that! We could all do with some cheering up from time to time and I think you did just that!!

I know something will come along but its waiting and I think we have to be comfortable with being single first!! lol

Thanks again xx