Problem with csection date? Am I being too choosy?

[Annie77]

Let me start by saying that the doctors have given me no choice about having a csection - I am not opting for one to be a control freak etc.
Because the consultant met with me so late in my pregnancy there were very few elective slots left for either of the nearby hospitals & I was given mon3rd June, just 2 days short of my due date.
Hubby seemed indifferent to begin with but when I was in the hospital over weekend he made a comment about wanting the baby out that weekend. I jokingly accused him of wanting baby out before this weekends cup final match but when I got home he told me that 3rd June was actually the anniversary of his mums death when he was 9. He thought he wasn't bothered by it but it has gradually got to him and he states he would do anything to avoid the birth and death sharing a date.
I feel so bad - he rarely talks about his mums death as it was very traumatic for him and obviously a life changing event when he moved country, school etc.

My question is - should I ask midwife tomorrow if she could phone hospital and double check if there have been any cancellations for next week? Or should I just wait and see what happens, after all she could come early anyway or theatre could end up cancelling me on 3rd? I just don't want to come across like a diva- asking for a date to suit us when all you ladies are totally unknowing when your babies could be here.

 

[MomPepperdine]

I caan understand wanting to change the date!!! I would call and tell them what u just said

 

[Babushka]

Call them & explain the situation. It's totally understandable.

 

[rowleypolie]

I can relate! Dd was due on my grandmothers birthday and it was totally exciting until she passed away a week before, when I was 39 weeks. I couldn't attend the funeral as I was living in hawaii, and couldn't fly. She was a week late though. It would be hard each year to celebrate on the anniversary of someone's death, but hopefully the date changes or bubs comes early

 

[laila 44]

Change the date I'm sure they can, it's no big deal...

 

[Bubsta]

I would call for sure. Try and change the date. I'm sure they will understand and the word Diva won't even enter into their minds! Good luck! X

 

[MumMumMum]

If there's ever a reason to ask, it's in cases like this! I'm sure they'll completly understand.
If they can't change it, at least you tried.

 

[kirstybumx3]

honestly I wouldn't hesitate to ask for a different date, people use a lot less important reasons to try and change their date.. yours is a very reasonable request! x

 

[o0Squeaks0o]

id change the date. i may be doing the same as my specialist keeps referring to induce me by 38 weeks now if i can get that far. 38 weeks falls dead on my ex husband (DD father) birthday. he passed away in 2011. i don't want my son sharing the same birthday or for lots of people to constantly talk about how his born on that date. i want zach having his own special date. i don't care if they think im being a diva either ! call them hun try get a date your comfy with. xx

 

[Dani_Ldn]

I agree with everyone else, call & explain why you would like the date changed, it is not as if you are asking so you don't miss out on a dinner or football match! I am sure they will be accommodating for you.

 

[Annie77]

Thanks to everyone who got bak to me - I asked midwife and she was so nice about it. She phoned local hospital but they don't have any theatre slots until 14th June! She then phoned hospital 20 miles away who said they would phone me. Stupidly I gave them my home number but they have phoned by the time I got home and the number on 1471 would not accept incoming calls!
Fingers crossed she phones me back this afternoon with an alternative date.

 

[Pink Flowers]

I would try and change the date.

Oliver was born on the anniversary of my nans death and her sons birthday also. 2 babies were born that day in our family. 1 at 10am he was early and oliver at 12.30 he was 2 weeks over due. It made it a "happier" occasion for our family

 

[SamsMum]

Yes, that's absolutely a valid reason to change date. Just know that's it's more likely to be a later date than an earlier one xxx

 

[mspotter]

Fingers crossed they get back to you this afternoon!
For what its worth i'd try and change the date too. Glad the mw was nice about it, i think its absolutely a valid reason for a change
Xx

 

[sue_88]

I hope you get a different date, your reason is perfectly valid.

If by some reason you can't change the date, or only offer later dates that it becomes unsafe - try and both take some solice in your OH's mum being honoured by this new little life.

It will be a sad day turned into a best day and you can collectively remember your OH's mum by celebrating the birth of your baby.

 

[Annie77]

Well there are no elective sections dates available in Lothian until middle of June! Looks like we will be turning a sad day into a happy day on 3rd June or I'll maybe go early myself and have an emergency section before then.

 

[MomPepperdine]

Well at lest u tried! Can they let u know if someone cancels

 

[yoshy]

I agree with everyone else that it's a completely legitimate reason to want to reschedule the date, and I'm sorry to hear you weren't able to.

That said, my little one is due a week after my late grandfather's birthday (he passed away last year, one week before his 90th birthday), and I'd actually be thrilled if he was born on either my grandfather's birthday or the anniversary of the day he passed away. Like someone said, it'd be a way of transforming something sad into a celebration of life.

Hope things work out, regardless!

 

[Annie77]

I doubt they would phone me if there was a cancellation but you never know.

If this baby was due to anyone else's birth or death anniversary it would be different - my poor husband lost his mum when he was very young and without explanation he was taken away straight after the funeral to Scotland and she was never mentioned by his dad again. Two years ago we applied to be foster parents with local council and everything went well til this horrible social worker made out he had emotional problems due to the loss 30+ years ago! She basically sat him in a room and made him talk about his mum for two hours, during which time he didn't shed a tear but found it difficult to remember stuff and found it very intrusive.
He isn't messed up and further psychometric testing by Barnardos foster team showed he is a very grounded and normal guy but the first social worker made him feel like a victim and as a result our relationship with that foster team stopped. Thank god I hadn't let the social worker near my kids - god knows how they would have reacted to her interviewing skills! On a happier note we were accepted with open arms by Barnardos!

Anyway - end of blether, thanks for your replies