Protecting Our Children - BBC2 - 9pm - 30th Jan

[Lightworker]

lol..no worries smelly btw wot book was that you were reading?

 

[smelly07]

Its a book i downloaded on my kindle about 2012 (cant remember title or author sorry memory like a seive) and it talks about lightworkers in it .........

basically this https://lightworkers.org/what-is-a-lightworker-are-you-a-lightworker that i found by googling xxxx

 

[Lightworker]

Smelly.. wow we seem to have alot in common..(i liked your contribution to the angels/ghosts and toddlers thread in toddlers)

 

[Lightworker]

Ladies don't forget to watch tonight!

 

[smelly07]

Smelly.. wow we seem to have alot in common..(i liked your contribution to the angels/ghosts and toddlers thread in toddlers)

we do and thank you. xxx

 

[Nibblenic]

Im recording it tonight. May watch it tonight if OH can stomach it, if not tomorrow when Lo is in bed. But I will be back

 

[Mrs_X]

i think, with the right support and no 'arsehole' in the picture then she would of been able to look after the boy and do a good job. the sad reality is that the baby will get adoptive parents, the boy most likely wont.
you could see in her face she was absolutly devestated by her decision and that she did love her children deep down. with the dad? he is the type of person 'who blames everyone but himself' and is a nasty controlling, vindictive little man. if he gave a shit about his kids, he would of stayed in contact with them after he left but he didnt. i got the vibe that he agreed to temporary foster care then retracted it for attention and to have 'control'.
i wish the women well, i hope she goes on to find peace with herself and eventually find a loving partner and live in a happy and stable environment x

 

[Lightworker]

tonights episode was really sad... I felt sympathy in equal measure for all parties...so sad

 

[Mrs_X]

very very sad . the baby was so beautiful and precious too. and im not suprised the social worker went on sick too. so much work and support went into marva and baby, and it ended up worst case scenario. she seems such a lovely lass, but if she cant help herself and get any willpower then nothing can be done to help her x

 

[feeble]

He was just so adorable wasn't he!

I feel for her I really do, but if they had of given her another chance... Well it's likely she would have ended up in a tent somewhere pissed, with a hungry baby and a crazy boyfriend.

 

[Nibblenic]

I thought last nights episode was even more horrible than the last.
The fact she had come so far and threw it all away, for what?
I found it hard that she wasnt offered a second chance, but how many chances do people deserve, where do you draw the line.

But yet again another parent continuing their abuse cycle onto their children, its so very sad.

 

[smelly07]

WOW....... I felt sympathy for the SS and the parents both the father and the mother. They both need a lot more help and guidence without a child even being involved tbh i was suprised after only 8 weeks they thought she was able to care for a newborn and think it would work out.... to me the outcome was obvious and incredibly sad. They both have a lot of deep rooted issues, mental health problems, depression mixed with the alcohol and (drug?) use to, the mutiple attempts on suicide etc.... it would take a lot longer than 8 weeks to solve all that imo... i do think it was right she wasnt given a second chance, i think getting the first chance was amazing enough.... Its so so sad but even now i am wondering if they are okay and if they are getting any help or support and i truly hope she doesnt get pregnant again

 

[ttc_lolly]

I'm finding this programme so interesting. I'm currently studying a diploma in Social Work and will be starting my degree this summer and I'm even more determined now after getting a little insight into their work.

Last night's episode was so sad. I really felt for Annie (the social worker) and the foster carer to after the decision was made to take the baby. You could tell how emotionally attached she was to her case and when she was upset and said ''I always said when I stop caring I'll know it's time to leave this area of work''.

I do think 8 weeks wasn't a lot of time to get Marva prepared and to give her the chance of bringing up the baby, but social workers try their hardest to keep families together where possible (and if safe to do so) so that's why they obviously chose to do what they did. It sucks she only made it to 5 weeks though before reverting back to her old ways poor little boy x

 

[Lightworker]

Also wanted to add...aren't foster carers just the best? Such unsung heroes in my opinion..they do such a lovely job, with no real acknowledgment..the lady took Marva in and tried to help, and you could tell she really cared for both Marva and baby. Such kind hearted people.

Yes I also agree that even at the case conference, had it been me, I wouldn't have allowed Marva parental responsibility..I don't know if she was shy, or what, but she seemed abit almost intoxicated..slow to respond etc, even when she was not under the influence. It was an almost obvious outcome, but heartbreaking nonetheless.

I had to fight with my imaginnation not to try and visualize what baby was going through those 14 hours when Marva went awol.

 

[MrsNorthman]

Have to agree with what everyone else has said, I found it so sad, I was balling!!! Just thinking off that little baby in her womb when she was taking overdoses and drinking so much, wonder if it will have any effect on him in years to come, I really hope not, he was such a gorgeous baby, hope he gets a really good family!!

Then I was thinking about what he went through when she was back drinking and the foster carer said he was starving when she took him home, so so sad.

I really didnt think she would ever be able to care for him but I know they had to give her a chance and I am glad she never got a second chance as God only knows what would have happened.

Such a hard job, really admire anyone who does this job and foster carers as you have to be a special type of person to do it, I just wouldnt be able to handle the emotional element of it!!

 

[smelly07]

Lightworker i felt the same regarding Marva at the case conference x

I would love to foster and so would my husband, if i am unable to go the social worker route then we will definitely become foster parents...........to me that would be the next best thing. x

 

[Yammas]

I would love to be a foster carer the lady is the show was lovely, as for Marva and Shaun I though that they were soo much better apart I was gutted when she moved back in with him but at the same time I dont blame her as she didnt have anything else left.

I think the fact that she lasted 6 weeks shows that she was making progress so I wouldve given her one more chance as there are plenty of addicts who have multiple relapses way sooner than that, and I'd hate to be told I could never see my OH The baby was goregeous but the fact that they missed the contact visits means they probably went back to their old ways ... I just hope hes ok as hes lucky to be alive giiven Marvas drinking and overdoses I thought hed have something wrong with him.

 

[feeble]

At what cost to the child though?

he was already left hours without food the first time she took him, if she took him again and they took a while to find her (or they ran off with their tents...) the worst could have happened... not worth that risk.

If she'd bothered caring for the kid AS WELL as getting pissed... i would probably have agreed with you, but given the circumstances and her neglect of him, even in that short space of time, i think they made absolutely the right decision.

 

[Lightworker]

Ok..I'm just going to throw this out there..but a few months a go we had a debate, and part of it was on the issue of sterilization..I was vehemently against any sterilization and believe women should be in charge of their right to bear children..but in this case..do you think sterilization should have been suggested to Marva? I mean 4 children gone like that.what do you think?

Also, how long does it take to become a foster parent, for those that are interested..is it as lengthy a process as adopting?

 

[smelly07]

Its not as lengthy a process as adoption it can take as little as 9 months to 2 years, i was told.

I think sterilization should definitely of been suggested, i dont see the harm in suggesting sterilization to those who should not keep bringing children in to the world. x