Public Shaming as Punishment?

[BeachyFeelin]

If I found out my child was bulling others I would be extremely disappointed as a parent and would think it's partially my fault. It's hard to think shaming your child in public and not taking any responsibility for their actions would solve anything. I'm not saying those parents are responsible for their children's actions, but personally I would feel responsible.

I would think banning from social media would be better punishment (at least is it now a days, who knows what it'll be like when I have children). Maybe a family chat to discuss the proper way to treat others would be the best I could do.

 

[LockandKey]

honestly speaking, I don't think I would ever use public shaming as a form of punishment, because to me, that seems to openly invite others to get involved in my parenting, and I am one of those "don't tell me how to raise my kids" kind of people, though I do feel that consistency is important no matter where you are. I have had to discipline my toddler in a public place before, but I have always taken her away from the public eye, maybe the store's private family bathroom and spoken firmly with her, that way she and I don't get stares from on lookers passing by us, she can focus on me only, and it's none of their business what's going on anyway.

 

[Lirpa11]

I agree with another poster that it's a form of psychological abuse. My mom was the type if I did something wrong she would tell the world, including my friends, friend's parents, teachers etc. it made me feel horrible, enough that at times I wanted to and tried to harm myself because of it. She was also a big believe of physical punishment, which I don't agree with to the extent she did it either.

I remember in high school I started taking diet pills and trying to lose weight because she said I was getting fat. She found out and walked me into school to tell my teacher all about it the next day. It was humiliating. Thankfully the teacher was amazing and took it well, she walked me into the bathroom and made me look at myself and say I was perfect the way I was and there was no need for diet pills, or me to change physically in any way. That, in my opinion was much more effective than the way my mom handled it.

 

[Hollynesss]

Lirpa, your story is heartbreaking I'm so sorry you went through all of that. Kudos to you for pulling through and learning from her bad example

 

[MoldyVoldy]

yes lirpa, thanks for sharing your story.

 

[calm]

I don't agree with at all, I think its quite sick really, and could do lasting damage to the kid

 

[Punk_Mum86]

I personally don't believe in public shaming, actually, I'm dead against it. I feel that this would have the absolute opposite effect than the one desired. I think shame is one of the most horrid things you could inflict on a child. I really think that a lot of these public shaming pictures/videos are quite awful.
Everyone, adults included can stray a little from the right path and how would you feel if you made a mistake at work or had a moment with your other half where you acted irrationally and were wrong, and they hung a sign around your neck and dragged you out in public? The only thing this would do is make you feel, well, is ashamed! Could you ever come to that person with a problem? Or looking for advice if you felt you had done wrong? I don't think so. Shame is not something I would want my daughter to feel, she knows right and wrong, will she make mistakes? Of course! I will never make her feel ashamed in that way though.
Each to their own, but I will never shame my daughter, never.

I would also like to add that I was bullied as a child and don't feel a sandwich board would have made any difference to the kids that bullied me, I'm not really sure what would have changed things, public shaming wouldn't have made them feel the way they made me feel...

 

[lily28]

I'm dead against it. When a child does something wrong he or she needs her parents close to her, not turning their backs and making things worse.

BTW children will never listen to our advice, they always follow our example, so I think the one who should feel humiliated is the parent, it is their fault when I child does something seriously wrong on purpose, like stealing.