Questions from First Tri!

[ttcbambino#1]

Hi Ladies

There have been a couple of threads in 1st tri lately that have got me thinking and I have a few questions about breast feeding if thats ok?

1. How did you make your OH feel part of the process? My Hubby and all his siblings (6 in total) we're bottle fed and he is taking a lot of persuading to accept the BF is best all round as 'we all turned out fine'. I think it's because he might feel left out, as he's already spoken about wanting to be getting up at night and helping etc, but if I exclusively BF then he won't really have much of a role in the actual feeding. I could express so he can bottle feed, but I'm not 100% about this, so...

2. How do you find expressing? Does it mess up natural rythm of BF?

3. I am a fairly shy person and I will not be BF in front of anyone other than OH. It's not down to just shyness, I'd rather it was a private moment between me, bubs and OH. How did, in particular, your families respond? I have a feeling our families might take offence if I up and leave the room with bubs to feed. Especially OH family as they really don't do BF and when his sister had her baby they all took turns to bottle feed him, in fact I rarely saw her give him his bottle, the family we're all over him, almost fighting as to who's turn it was!!!

4. I have, erm how do I say this, 'big baps' already!! They feel a little bigger at the moemnt, not enough to move up a size just yet, how much bigger did you get and do they start to decrease as you breast feed or do they stay consistent size??

Sorry know it's a lot of questions!!! Hope you can help, I know your all busy mummies, so any feedback is very much appreciated! xx

 

[TigerLady]

1. How did you make your OH feel part of the process? My Hubby and all his siblings (6 in total) we're bottle fed and he is taking a lot of persuading to accept the BF is best all round as 'we all turned out fine'. I think it's because he might feel left out, as he's already spoken about wanting to be getting up at night and helping etc, but if I exclusively BF then he won't really have much of a role in the actual feeding. I could express so he can bottle feed, but I'm not 100% about this, so...

Have OH do baths or nightime reading routines or something similar at first. Assure him that you can express after the first few weeks and LO can get EBM (expressed breastmilk) in a bottle. Yes, FF babies "turn out fine" but breastmilk REALLY is better for them.

2. How do you find expressing? Does it mess up natural rythm of BF?

TBH, it is a pain in the butt! But it works fine. Get a good pump! That is key. It doesn't mess with the natural rythm when done properly. I pump twice per day at work and occassionally besides that to let DH feed LO, too.

3. I am a fairly shy person and I will not be BF in front of anyone other than OH. It's not down to just shyness, I'd rather it was a private moment between me, bubs and OH. How did, in particular, your families respond? I have a feeling our families might take offence if I up and leave the room with bubs to feed. Especially OH family as they really don't do BF and when his sister had her baby they all took turns to bottle feed him, in fact I rarely saw her give him his bottle, the family we're all over him, almost fighting as to who's turn it was!!!

My views on feeding in front of people really changed once LO was born. I suddenly saw my bbs as feeding machines, not private or sexual tools. I make a point to feed in front of other women, especially teen girls, as I want them to see it as natural and normal. As for feeding in front of adult men, that makes me a little more uncomfortable, but I just put a blanket over LO or around him (as he doesn't like his head covered) and cover myself up. I have even BFed on a plane RIGHT next to a middle aged man that was a stranger. I also BFed in public at stores and resturants. It is normal and natural! LO and I get private BFing and bonding time plenty still.

Family just needs to understand it is best for LO! They can bond in other ways. But nursing is best for you and LO. I woudn't trade that bfing bond for the world -- sod the rest of them! haha!

Also, stress to them they can help feed LO when the time comes. It is only a very short time until weaning (6 months) and they can help with that more.

Also, I have found family that is allowed to bottle feed too often also tend to take too much ownership of raising the baby and tend to think they have too much say in how it is done. This is YOUR baby. Remember that.

4. I have, erm how do I say this, 'big baps' already!! They feel a little bigger at the moemnt, not enough to move up a size just yet, how much bigger did you get and do they start to decrease as you breast feed or do they stay consistent size??

Everyone is different! I was a small B before, went up to a D at my biggest (end of pregnancy and early BFing days) and have currently settled at a full C. We'll see what happens when BFing is over! They tend to settle down and don't get engorged anymore after about 8-12 weeks of BFing.



Feel free to keep asking!!!

 

[florabean1981]

1. How did you make your OH feel part of the process?

2. How do you find expressing? Does it mess up natural rythm of BF?

3. How did, in particular, your families respond?

4. how much bigger did you get and do they start to decrease as you breast feed or do they stay consistent size??

1) Whenever I was feeding Harry in the early days, my OH would get me a drink, get me clean breastpads out, ask me if I needed anything, or whether Harry needed new nappies etc... That made him feel of vital importance to the process, lol! he was also keen to burp him after a feed too, which gave me a chance to pee & stuff! when H was a bit older, i started expressing, so he now gives him a bottle at about 8pm, which alows them time to bond & have cuddles & such in the evenings.
2) i find it hard to find the time to express as much as I'd like too, lol! I only express once a day, then freeze it for OH to use in the future or keep it in the fridge for OH to use later that day, depending on how much I get out, iykwim? It doesnt mess up our natural routine or anything, as I tend to do it either first thing in the morning when LO is either alseep or content on his playmat, or in the evening when i have a bath...
3) neither of our parents BFed us, however my sister Bfed both her 2 kiddies & she is my main supporter, so to speak! My mum thinks it's weird, but doesnt make me feel bad or anything; i just go in another room, or try to be discreet on the sofa, lol. I wont BF in front of OH's parents though, altho I'm sure they wouldnt care if i did. When they've been round, I've just gone in my room to feed my LO & they never seem offended or anything. Luckily, they all see it as my choice so they dont interfere & I always make sure they get plenty of cuddles with him, so they arent left out.
I dont like BFing in public, so I always use a feeding room in either Boots or Mothercare when we're out & about... And I've done it in the car a few times too, lol. If my LO would tolerate being covered by a blanket or aomething, then I would probably give it more of a go, but right now, he hates being covered up, so I dont think it's fair on him... Maybe when he's older he wont mind so much.
4) my boobs went up 2 cup sizes & one back size. (I'm a 38D now!) they seem to have settled down a bit now & as I'm losing weight & my milk is regulating itself, I think they may even be starting to get smaller again, lol. Nearer to when your LO is born, go get measured, then get measured again once your milk comes in.



also, good for you for thinking ahead

 

[lindypops]

Totally agree with Tigerlady - esp on the dealing with bf in front of other people. Your baby, your choice - and I wouldn't give up the privilege just to make other people feel good. It's not about their needs, but my baby's needs!

Re bf, I am the same - I do it anywhere. Tbh, I don't even bother to get my muslin out to cover up - I am so clumsy I know I'd draw more attention to myself by trying to do this than just quickly getting my nipple out. So I just do that!

And re not doing it in front of other people - if they've got a problem with you doing it, I'd ask them to leave the room...

 

[lyre]

i'm really shy and never thought i would feed in public, but now i do all the time with a shawl over us. otherwise i would spend no time with family and friends as my lo feeds constantly most evenings.

 

[GersPrincess]

Hi Ladies

1. How did you make your OH feel part of the process?

Because my hubby works in Germany, and is only home every other weekend for a few days, it was doubly important for us to find a way for him and Emily to bond. He gets in the bath with her when he is home, reads her a story and does her baby massage. In the early days, he was happy to make me gallons of juice, feed me and give me the odd shoulder massage whilst i was feeding.

2. How do you find expressing? Does it mess up natural rythm of BF?

Aside from doing it once when I had to go to a funeral when Emily was 6 weeks old, I have only just started expressing daily. Emily has dropped her 3.30am feed now, but I still get up to check on her, so I pump then! I can now get about 4oz from each boob which goes straight in the freezer. I also do it mid-morning if Emily isnt super hungry. Doing it this way doesnt seem to affect anything for us.

3. I am a fairly shy person and I will not be BF in front of anyone other than OH. It's not down to just shyness, I'd rather it was a private moment between me, bubs and OH. How did, in particular, your families respond?

MY family are fantastic. We were all BF so for us it's natural. Even my Grandad doesnt mind me BF at the dinner table sitting next to him!!
Hubby's family on the other hand.. well, I dont want to go into too much, but it's very difficult. They are all of the view that BF is "un-natural". They are all for bottle feeding so they can do it, and we can leave the baby with them.. erm, dont think so!!!

Strangely though, I have no issues at all feeding in public!! I'll do it any time, any place, just not round hubby's family.

4. I have, erm how do I say this, 'big baps' already!! They feel a little bigger at the moemnt, not enough to move up a size just yet, how much bigger did you get and do they start to decrease as you breast feed or do they stay consistent size??

I was a 36G pre-preg and went up to 36J. I am still there at the moment but dont seem to be getting any bigger!!

Oh, and congratulations on your BFP!!!

 

[ttcbambino#1]

Thanks so much ladies for your replies, I want to Bfed so much and want to make it as stress free as poss, so planning well in advance!! I know hubby will come round, I just think it's difficult for him to see a different way when no one he knows has bfed in his lifetime! I'll start looking out for a breast pump next year, I have to say I find that exciting, is that weird!?

I have to agree with the family feeding/ownership of baby comment Tigerlady, my MIL totally took over a lot of the time from my SIL and I found that difficult to watch and it wasn't my baby!

 

[Lu28]

1. How did you make your OH feel part of the process? My Hubby and all his siblings (6 in total) we're bottle fed and he is taking a lot of persuading to accept the BF is best all round as 'we all turned out fine'. I think it's because he might feel left out, as he's already spoken about wanting to be getting up at night and helping etc, but if I exclusively BF then he won't really have much of a role in the actual feeding. I could express so he can bottle feed, but I'm not 100% about this, so...

DH does bathtime etc and has lots of cuddles. Believe me, all the ideas he has of getting up in the night for feeds is great but I bet he ends up being pretty grateful when the time comes and you're bfing!! My DH had ideas about this too, almost like it was a right of passage he was missing out on but he soon changed his tune!

I pumped so DH could do the last feed of the night but once my supply regulated I ended up pumping at least 3 times a day just to get enough for that one bottle and we ditched it in the end, it just wasn't worth it. Others produce more for the pump though, you'll only know at the time.

2. How do you find expressing? Does it mess up natural rythm of BF?

I think it depends on how much you're looking to express. I'd pump after the first 2 feeds of the day and last thing at night. It didn't mess up the natural rhythm of things but it is time consuming and if you're expressing to get the last bottle, you may end up stressed like me if you were out for the day and missed a pumping session which meant there wasn't enough for the bottle.

3. I am a fairly shy person and I will not be BF in front of anyone other than OH. It's not down to just shyness, I'd rather it was a private moment between me, bubs and OH. How did, in particular, your families respond? I have a feeling our families might take offence if I up and leave the room with bubs to feed. Especially OH family as they really don't do BF and when his sister had her baby they all took turns to bottle feed him, in fact I rarely saw her give him his bottle, the family we're all over him, almost fighting as to who's turn it was!!!

I remember asking exactly the same question when I was starting out and someone said that they had just had 'the girls' out for a feed while her DH and business partner were in the next room - I was like , couldn't imagine ever doing that! Now I don't care who I feed in front of. This is how my baby gets her milk and it's that simply. I honestly didn't think I'd get to that point but it happened very quickly. You can be so discreet and alot of the time, no-one even knows I'm feeding

As for the family bit, I know a girl on here who pretends she still isn't comfortable bfing in public so she has an excuse to go home from the inlaws!!

4. I have, erm how do I say this, 'big baps' already!! They feel a little bigger at the moemnt, not enough to move up a size just yet, how much bigger did you get and do they start to decrease as you breast feed or do they stay consistent size??

Mine increased in the early days but are now pretty much as they were pre preg.

Sorry know it's a lot of questions!!! Hope you can help, I know your all busy mummies, so any feedback is very much appreciated! xx

Keep asking questions, the more prepared you are the better!

 

[TigerLady]

hahaha!!! I totally agree that the reality of getting up in the middle of the night is much different than the thought!

My DH totally thought he would get up at night with LO... he never has, not ONCE in 5 months. And has no desire to start now!

 

[GersPrincess]

Nope, its not weird that you're excited about a breast pump! I really believe that the more prepared you are for something, the easier you will find it. The fact that you are thinking so far in advance, not just about how to feed your baby, but about expressing already is brilliant.

As for changing your hubby's mind.. I'm not sure if this would work for you or not, but I made my hubby work out how much we'd spend on formula in the first year, and add this to the cost of bottles, new teats (cos they do get bitten/chewed) etc and compare all of that to the FREE top quality milk I'd be producing.. being a Scot and lets say he's "cany" with his money, it didnt take long for him to see the financial benefits.

His son wasn't BF either, and he says he can really see the difference already with Emily, in so many ways - plus, with the money we dont spend on formula, it means he has extra to spend on things he wants to buy her which I dont consider necessary (a full footie strip bought when she was 6hrs old for one!!).

 

[aevenstar]

1. How did you make your OH feel part of the process?

2. How do you find expressing? Does it mess up natural rythm of BF?

3. How did, in particular, your families respond?

4. how much bigger did you get and do they start to decrease as you breast feed or do they stay consistent size??

1. DH did everything except feed Eleanor in the early days as I was really tired after the birth and he wanted me to take it as easy as possible so that we got the best chance to get BF established. We'd talked a lot about BF and both of us were really committed - I think it's really important that your OH supports you in this as well. He would change her, wind her, settle her etc and I just had to worry about the feeding. He'd also bring me plenty of drinks and snacks -really important to keep hydrated. Now, bath time is his and Eleanor's time, and he is very much an equal parent with me in her life.

2. I don;t express now - tried, but Eleanor wouldn't have a bottle for love nor money, so we gave up. Working on a doidy cup now!

3. Family have been supportive -my Dad definitely brews up more than he used to though as I think he gets a bit embarassed! As to sharing the feeding - feeding is not the only way that a family can bond with a baby, and it certainly IS important for you to BF if you want to. They need to support this choice too, and if they don't, at least not make any negative comments - it's hard enough as it is! Then again, if it's not feeding, it'll be something else!

Feeding in public - if you're not going to be a hermit, you may have to bite the bullet and do this. Eleanor still feeds about every 2 hours through the day which isn;t much time to go out and do anything. I did work out where I can feed her though in the early days - feeding rooms in places like Boots, Mamas and Papas, Mothercare etc are nice and private especially if LO needs a bit of help to latch on.

The money thing is nice too - I was going to get some formula the other day to put on cereal etc since she's not quite 6 months so I don't want to use cow's milk yet, and was horrified at how much it costs! So if you want another reason to BF, say it's cos you're tight! We do Same with the real nappies!

4. I started as a 36D pre preg and hit a 38E by the end - now down to a 36DD - typically you'll go back to your normal band size but up a cup size apparently.

HTH and keep asking questions - the more you prepare for this, the more likely you are to succeed. I read 'So That's what they're for' which was a really useful book, and made sure I had the phone numbers for BF support groups etc in the area before Eleanor was born.

Rachel x

 

[K477uk]

Hi Ladies

There have been a couple of threads in 1st tri lately that have got me thinking and I have a few questions about breast feeding if thats ok?

1. How did you make your OH feel part of the process? My Hubby and all his siblings (6 in total) we're bottle fed and he is taking a lot of persuading to accept the BF is best all round as 'we all turned out fine'. I think it's because he might feel left out, as he's already spoken about wanting to be getting up at night and helping etc, but if I exclusively BF then he won't really have much of a role in the actual feeding. I could express so he can bottle feed, but I'm not 100% about this, so...

I expressed from 4 weeks for LO to take a bottle for that exact reason. But there are other ways in which my husband gets involved. He nearly always gives LO his bath and massage, and often will change his nappy in the middle of the night if needed. In the early days he would also wake up with me to keep me company whilst feeding.

2. How do you find expressing? Does it mess up natural rythm of BF?

I don't find it effects my supply or rhythm, I tend to express twice a day, in the morining whilst feeding (when I tend to get the most) and then in the afternoon on the other boob again whilst feeding.

3. I am a fairly shy person and I will not be BF in front of anyone other than OH. It's not down to just shyness, I'd rather it was a private moment between me, bubs and OH. How did, in particular, your families respond? I have a feeling our families might take offence if I up and leave the room with bubs to feed. Especially OH family as they really don't do BF and when his sister had her baby they all took turns to bottle feed him, in fact I rarely saw her give him his bottle, the family we're all over him, almost fighting as to who's turn it was!!!

My family are all really supportive, even those who used bottles, most took it as my choice and I haven't had a problem. I find there are other ways that the family can get special times, through play (or even the nappy changes!) If you want it to be private then just explain and IMO if they don't like it tough! As for feeding when you're out, I found it nerve racking at start, but find it so easy now.. much easier than taking a bottle - although if you express you can always take that out with you!

4. I have, erm how do I say this, 'big baps' already!! They feel a little bigger at the moemnt, not enough to move up a size just yet, how much bigger did you get and do they start to decrease as you breast feed or do they stay consistent size??

I've gone up 2 cups and 1 band size and as yet haven't gone down, although they are feeling as if they are getting smaller!

Sorry know it's a lot of questions!!! Hope you can help, I know your all busy mummies, so any feedback is very much appreciated! xx

Hope that helps! As aevan says, keep asking!