Quite upset

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by MissBizz, Jan 26, 2011.

  1. MissBizz

    MissBizz Expecting #2

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    Yesterday I was speaking to my sister, who was meant to be my birthing partner and she told me that she can't just drop everything to be with me at my birth, she has 2 kids and a job. She even moaned at my Aunty who told me.

    I live in London, she lives2 hours away, so it would have been a mad rush for her to get here. But this means I am now going to have to give birth alone.

    I live in London, and have no friends here, no family. As soon as baby is born am planning to move to my home town. I have 12 year old with special needs and I am panicking now. I actually do not know what to do.

    The thought of going into labour and giving birth alone really scares me. I have never felt so isolated or alone. :cry::cry::cry:
     
  2. ummar

    ummar Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I really, really feel for you! :hug:

    You can do this by yourself if you get yourself into the right frame of mind! I'm sure you can!
     
  3. stephwiggy

    stephwiggy Well-Known Member

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    just a sugestion could you look into getting a doula ?? I have one from doula uk and she is amazing !!
     
  4. MissBizz

    MissBizz Expecting #2

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    I don't know if I can. I struggle with my special needs daughter. I have no idea what I am meant to do, or what to do with her. When I got pleurisy in November, she was nearly put into care whilst I was in hospital. No way can that happen. Luckily some friends from Surrey drove up and got her. :cry:
     
  5. MissBizz

    MissBizz Expecting #2

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    I can't afford a doula. I am a full time carer to my daughter, so money is tight.
     
  6. Kazi1976

    Kazi1976 Well-Known Member

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    Hi just an idea but if you're really isolated perhaps you could have a word with your local church or the hospital chaplain who may be able to arrange some support for you and your older child free of charge. I don't think you necessarily have to be religious for them to help you or is there any way you can travel home before labour? Take care:hugs:

    https://img.thebabycountdown.com/ticker/f9y9rlaaj.png
     
  7. lilacmonkey87

    lilacmonkey87 Well-Known Member

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    Hey,

    The above post about asking the local church for help and support is a good idea, its a worth a try! also i wonder if women who are training to be a doula would be willing to help you out? perhaps you wouldnt be charged as much for a trainee? what about your Aunt? im sure there must be online support groups for parents with special needs children who can relate to what your going through.

    I do think your sister is being selfish, i dont mean to be nasty or anything but family are supposed to help and support you not make you feel like you had a cheek in wanting them to be present at this most momentous and special time, granted that she has responsibilities of her own and lives two hours away i understand that but that doesnt mean she has the right to be so heartless about it.

    When i left home at 21 my mum announced a few weeks after that she was pregnant, having been an only child all my life it came as a massive shock, she was at the time 42, unemployed and living with her brother so she wasnt in the best of circumstances to be bringing another person into the world and the baby's dad who isnt my father might i add, did a runner. i supported my mum 100% all the way. i really hope your sister changes her mind about this, i feel it is such an honour to be someones birth partner and i wouldnt have missed seeing my little brother come into the world for anything. i am proud to say that i was able to hold my mums hand through the contractions, touch my brothers head when it was crowning and i even cut his cord. it was one of the best moments of my life...even if i was shitting myself lol your sister doesnt know what shes missing!

    I know its hard but keep your chin up, you CAN do this dont let doubt try and tell you any different! It will still be a beautiful glorious moment whether your sister is there to support you or not, so try not to worry, chances are you will be too preoccupied to worry about being alone when the time comes and none of it will matter once you clap eyes on your brand new little person.

    feel free to pm me if you ever are feeling in need of a chat.

    Take care!

    Zoe
     

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