raising a "genderless" baby.. is this too extreme?

[hayz_baby]

And there is nothing wrong with a girl being a girly girl or a boy being boyish. At the eod my lo is a boy has a boys name weres boys clothes and has boys toys. Purely because he is too ypung to make a choice about what he wears. We buy toys on a basis on what we think he enjoys. He has cars coz we noticed he like to push and slide stuff along. He also has a mickey mouse teddy. But when it comes to everything else well its my choice as hes too young to form a decision. He only turned one on friday and if he had his way he wudnt nap and wud only eat wotsits. If he plays with something girly when hes older im not gna stop him. He can dress up when.he wants and can make decisions when hes old enough to male decisons. But untill then thts my job im his mother

 

[Menelly]

Personally I think it's crazy.
The phrase that gets me is this one; 'Storm will choose a gender when s/he is older.' No, Storm bloody won't, because you don't choose gender, you're one or the other.
They've got mixed up with gender and gender stereotyping. My children will be encouraged to play with whatever they want, and if my son declares he wants to wear pink then fine. Same with any daughter of mine. I'm not going to say you should do this because you're a boy, or because you're a girl. I am avoiding gender stereotyping.
But I am not going to tell my son that he is genderless. He isn't! He's a boy, he has male genitalia and can you imagine the confusion when they get older? It's damaging in my opinion.

Someone else may have said this by now (haven't read the whole thread) but gender is actually fluid and mutable. Biological sex is not. Biological sex wise, your son is male. But gender being fluid is how we end up with people who are transgendered, asexual, intersexed, etc. So "gender" can be "chosen" (sort of, I think it's a bit more inborn than a "choice" per se) but biological sex cannot. Sex /= gender though. They are different.

 

[Tacey]

I think it's been misinterpreted really. Of course they'll show him wearing 'girly' clothes - it wouldn't be newsworthy other times. Photos of days when he may choose jeans and a t shirt aren't going to sell papers. I want to raise my children to know that although there are two sexes, gender is a spectrum, and they may find themselves at any point on that. Storm's parents may have gone about that in a sensationalist way, but I think they have the right idea.

 

[Lil_Pixie]

I agree there's a difference between genderless and having your little boy dress as a girl. Lots of boys have long hair these days and generally I think it looks so so cute, but doesn't the boy in that pic have pigtails? Sorry - but that 5yo didn't plait his own hair. And if your keeping your kid at home because you know he'll be bullied? That just makes me really sad for the poor little boy.

 

[hayz_baby]

I jus cant personally see how hiding someones gender will male them more open to choice. It jus seems to put a negative view onto it. Transgenders r completely different they didnt choose as such.. Jus like we never chose our sexuality etc we always jus knew. Tht child will know weather he is a boy or girl and will only have to look down. They.cnt keep it secret forever and eventually the child will "conform" jus like a male qho is a transgender wears dresses coz he wants to b a she

 

[futuremama88]

I am divided on the issue.

I believe strongly in gender roles and the natural differences between the sexes, so one would think I would be against raising a 'genderless' child.

But since I believe that the differences between the sexes are natural, I believe that under natural and unbiased circumstances a healthy normal child would naturally act their gender without needing to be 'taught' that girls do such and such activity or that boys act in such and such a way.

But it's difficult to argue such a thing in modern society where there are all sorts of chemicals in our food and environment that alter our hormone levels. Men's sperm counts and testosterone levels have been dropping over time for instance. I'm not sure that natural conditions exist in western society anymore so its a whole new ballgame.

Also you tend to find that these people raising their children as 'genderless' are usually extremists who are champions of their political views. They aren't being neutral and unbiased with their children; they're actively teaching them about 'alternative' gender identities, reading them strange children's literature, exposing the child to things that a child of unbiased parents wouldn't be exposed to.

 

[futuremama88]

By the way my bet is on Storm being a girl. There's no way that parents like that would give that name to a boy.

 

[Dragonfly]

Its not fair either because this isnt going to hide away as its in the media, it will be dragged up time after time and leaves this child open to ridicule from peers.

 

[smelly07]

i Just want to punch the parents in the face!

I am all for letting children have a right to choose what they wear, what toys they play with and encourage their interests but this is just plain stupid x

 

[stepmum]

By the way my bet is on Storm being a girl. There's no way that parents like that would give that name to a boy.

I say girl too

 

[lozzy21]

Thinking about it it seams that they could be using it as a way to deal with gender disappointment. They wanted a girl, got a boy so decided to grow their hair and pretend they really had a girl.

 

[babyhopesxx]

What get me also is 'storm will choose a sex when he or she grows up'. WTF?! You don't choose a sex this is decided at conception you can't choose if you want to be a boy or girl.

I don't get what benefit anyone will have from this, the poor child will grow up confused.

 

[Welsh mtb]

I am a little inclined to agree with Lozzy and and have a feeling that Storm is most likely a boy - just a guess.

 

[Yammas]

I agree Welsh mtb I think he is a boy

I worry about how they intend to continue this as the child gets older, what do they intend to do when the child hits puberty they are going to have to explain the changes that are happening according to his sex I definately think he will be confused heck im confused just trying to get my head around it

I agree with the gender stereotyping I think especially in this day and age where there is more role reversals going on with the number of stay at home dads, 'mompreneurs' and equal rights they are outdated. As a girl I have always been a tomboy and am not fond of the colour pink but would let my child wear it if they wanted to, on the other hand I also like to dress up and be glam for the night when going out so it goes both ways.

As for 'picking' a gender what a joke you cant just pick one how do they know that when they decide thier 'old enough' to choose that they will be able to pick one and stick with it theyll probably either swap and change constantly or stay genderless as thats all they know. I think the best way is to teach them that they are a boy or girl BUT they can still do whatever they want.

 

[JASMAK]

I think they are effing up the child, tbh.

 

[Brookey]

Im sorry but its just totally ridiculous.

They are saying that the baby will choose when it gets older....No it wont. It will look between its legs and know if its male or female.

Also, they say they are doing this to give the child the right to choose. But ultimately they are forcing their opinions on this poor baby.

I think this is a classic example of this "new age" parenting where its suddenly cool to do things like this because it must mean you are really "out there" and "intelligent".

Actually it just makes them look arrogant, selfish and slightly stupid. makes me a little angry for the baby who, although no doubt is very happy and loved at home, will sadly be bullied and laughed at for as long as this article keeps circulating.

 

[ZannahRain]

I know I'm late, but I just saw this. Wow. Just wow.

In 2006 my son was born. He has Matchbox cars littered all over his room. He went as Queen Amidala for Halloween one year. He also loves the 800 MILLION Legos that are scattered all over my house. He asked for an Easy Bake Oven for his birthday this year. But if you open his bedroom door at night, you'll find him sprawled out on his bed in just his underwear with his hand on his crotch. His favorite color is pink.
But none of that matters. He knows he's a boy and he can be whatever he wants. If he grows up and wants surgery to physically become a chick, fine. I'll still love him, because he's my child.

He will chose his own gender, not because I stripped him of both, but because I've given him the freedom to decide by nurturing, not starving.



Oh... and I'd love to hear the conversation when he asks why someone elses genitalia look different. "Oh, well, kid... some people have the one thing, and some people have the other. And that's all I will ever tell you." ?

 

[smokey]

I know I'm late, but I just saw this. Wow. Just wow.

In 2006 my son was born. He has Matchbox cars littered all over his room. He went as Queen Amidala for Halloween one year. He also loves the 800 MILLION Legos that are scattered all over my house. He asked for an Easy Bake Oven for his birthday this year. But if you open his bedroom door at night, you'll find him sprawled out on his bed in just his underwear with his hand on his crotch. His favorite color is pink.
But none of that matters. He knows he's a boy and he can be whatever he wants. If he grows up and wants surgery to physically become a chick, fine. I'll still love him, because he's my child.

He will chose his own gender, not because I stripped him of both, but because I've given him the freedom to decide by nurturing, not starving.



Oh... and I'd love to hear the conversation when he asks why someone elses genitalia look different. "Oh, well, kid... some people have the one thing, and some people have the other. And that's all I will ever tell you." ?

Exactly, to me this is the real way to avoid gender stereotypes rather then deny them the identity of what they are.
My boy has loads of cars, transformers and typical boys toys yet his faverite large toy is a kitchen, his faverite colour (for the moment it will propably change soon enough) is pink and you wont find him anywhere without his daisy duck and mini mouse teddies
To me that is true gender nutral where your not pushing one or the other on them but still letting them develope thier own personality and identity

Gender plays a huge role in who you are, yes for a few it isnt the gender they want to be and there are solutions to that further down the line but for the masses gender is part of what makes up your identity and sculpts who you are and will be.
To take that away is just taking away part of thier identity and not providing them with the means to and knowledge to know themselves

 

[jenniferttc1]

I think its nuts!

 

[meli1981]

you cant choose your gender, you are what you were born with. if anything it seems like the parents are making the child feel ashamed for what it is! this is beyond ridiculousness!