JoHio
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2011
- Messages
- 624
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Here it goes -- I'll try to keep this short. Today, we found out the sex of our fourth baby: a boy. We would have been delighted either way, but are super happy because this means my son - my oldest - finally has a brother. I was also delighted because it means I get to name my babe Harvey - after my uncle as well as a great uncle - two men I adored and adore, who have both passed.
My husband is totally on board with the name, and has been since we thought our 3rd might be a boy (which obviously was not the case). However, when my mother-in-law asked about possible names and I said we had one, and told her what it was, she actually freakin' recoiled her body, scrunched up her nose, and said, "Can't that be a middle name?"
For my husband's sake, I hope my face did not belie the violence of my thoughts. I did manage to just smile and say, "My baby. My choice." But I wanted to slap her. Well, no: I felt like I had been slapped.
I have spent the last 4 hours trying to calm down. I told my husband when he got home, and he was mortified, and very disappointed in his mother. I asked he NOT bring this up to her: I don't want it to seem like I am not capable of handling myself or that I was tattling on her. He pointed out she will almost definitely make a remark about the name to him, and he will not be as kind as I was. I asked him not to be as rude as she was, but to try to make her see how hurtful and rude her comment was - especially since she knows how much the death of my uncle hit me, and how much I love him.
However, I feel I may be over-reacting. I would love some opinions and perspective from other mothers. I don't know if it is worth pointing out she (and that entire side of the family) also were pretty awful about our name choice for our second child, Fionnuala. (An Irish name. Very old, quite common in Ireland, but not here in Canada. My husband's choice, and I thought it was lovely.) My husband asked them to mind their business and be civil then, and now...this. Again.
My husband is totally on board with the name, and has been since we thought our 3rd might be a boy (which obviously was not the case). However, when my mother-in-law asked about possible names and I said we had one, and told her what it was, she actually freakin' recoiled her body, scrunched up her nose, and said, "Can't that be a middle name?"
For my husband's sake, I hope my face did not belie the violence of my thoughts. I did manage to just smile and say, "My baby. My choice." But I wanted to slap her. Well, no: I felt like I had been slapped.
I have spent the last 4 hours trying to calm down. I told my husband when he got home, and he was mortified, and very disappointed in his mother. I asked he NOT bring this up to her: I don't want it to seem like I am not capable of handling myself or that I was tattling on her. He pointed out she will almost definitely make a remark about the name to him, and he will not be as kind as I was. I asked him not to be as rude as she was, but to try to make her see how hurtful and rude her comment was - especially since she knows how much the death of my uncle hit me, and how much I love him.
However, I feel I may be over-reacting. I would love some opinions and perspective from other mothers. I don't know if it is worth pointing out she (and that entire side of the family) also were pretty awful about our name choice for our second child, Fionnuala. (An Irish name. Very old, quite common in Ireland, but not here in Canada. My husband's choice, and I thought it was lovely.) My husband asked them to mind their business and be civil then, and now...this. Again.