Rant rant rant!!

[JenniferS92]

You know when someone makes your blood boil!!!!

So ive been trying to conceive for 3 years.
My 3 closest friends have all had children, two of the 3 have two children each.

Its great im happy for them and jelous of course because one .. Lets call her D.. D got pregnant accidentally the first time with only being with a guy she barely knew for 3 months and then 2 months before her first turned one she popped out a 2nd.

Then there is E. Iv'e known her the longest, she is with a guy a few months and gets pregnant at 17 her daughter is 4 in october and she struggled to conceive a second after 2 miscarrages finally caught (joy for all) and 2 months ago gave birth to a beautiful boy.

Finally there is S ... I see S the most these days im also school friends with her OH who is my OH best friend. S is known to be a attention seeker, loves the limelight .. she got with A a month after i got with my OH and they got engaged shortly after (2months) and the month after that she became pregnant and now at almost 20 months old her son is the best my OH and i take him on days out and he is the sweetest ever. now she is complaining because she cant shift the baby weight and shes not a size 8 anymore (what was she expecting??) and then she tells me that they have been trying for number two for three months and she thinks somethings wrong with her .. she thinks that her body doesnt work and the world is pretty much comming to a end because her boy is 20 months and she stil has no second on the way.

I'm Ranting because ive been trying for three years .. she knows this .. they all do and the others understand how i feel and dont rub things in my face. but with S if its not about her it doesnt matter. it doesnt matter if we go to a mutual friends house and they start chattering about baby infront of me it doesnt matter that i cant join in the conversation because i havn't expirienced the act of giving birth and having gas and air etc.

She knows how hard its been on me and knows how painful it is for both me & my oh but shes the desperate one trying to conceive again.

im not a selfish person and eveyones always before me but when is it my turn

 

[libbysue]

I know exactly how you feel!! Some of my closest friends have had one and even two babies during the time we have been trying. We are on 3+ years too. AND we haven't yet gone to a fertility specialist due to cost.

And all the "your time will come" and "it will happen when you stop trying" are just really annoying.

When is it our turn!?

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

Hi girls, I know the best how u feel. My OH and me have been trying for 6 years now. I won't mention how many babies have been born. It hurts every time I hear about someone I know that is pregnant. We have just started testing and I am so scared of having bad news. I really want to have a baby and because I can't I feel faulty. And I hate people thinking "Poor Desi she can't conceive tc tc tc"....

 

[Northern Jane]

Yup, I hear ya! ARGH! All my friends have little ones and it's hard to know what to say to all these "come to baby's first birthday" invitations. I had dinner with a friend in February, and she said she and her hubby weren't ready to start trying for a baby yet after I told her about the my LTTTC journey. Well wouldn't you know it, by summertime she announced that she was 12 weeks pregnant!

I also had a friend who knows we've been TTC for some time, and she tells me she's thinking of having baby #2 soon and wants to know if I'd like to get pregnant at the same time as her so we can be preggers together. ????? I was in total shock and haven't talked to her since. As if I'm delaying having a baby so that we can be on mat leave together! Crazy!

It's just no end to these frustrations, I know. But if it's any consolation, I was scared to get testing done too and it turned out ok. They haven't found any obvious reason for not being able to conceive, but my hormones are sometimes out of whack which may be a factor. The good news is that there are many things that can be done to help with TTC. It took a load off my back to know that I'm now doing everything that I can (doing IUI now). Hang in there! You're not alone

 

[JenniferS92]

I'm just glad i am not the only one who feels this way!!

i know i need to go down to the doctors but i dont know if i can bring myself to do it the beginning of this week i decided i'd ring tuesday as it was bank hol on monday .. i didn't and i never rang today because my OH was going to have his stitches out and i more than likely wont tomorrow morning because im a wuss.

I don't have the excuse of my doctors miles away as its round the corner from where i am living.

The thing that worries me the most is the fact that i have a form of depression (docs wont say what form) and i'm worried they will think me nuts because i want a child.

I wish you all luck on your LTTC journeys no matter how long or short they may be from this point!! any advice would be appreciated as ever!! x

 

[star25]

Hi
Just wanted to say Jennifer I was scared too about all the testing and making that step, its natural to feel that way. However, like Northern Jane they did not find anything wrong with me or DH, I just don't ovulate enough.

I was so worried as DH had an undescended testicle operated on when he was about 4/5 when its meant to be done earlier. We weren't even sure if it was 1 or both and can cause infertility, turns out after 4 SA's his count ranged from 13-84 Million so there was a lot of worrying for nothing!

Next I was scared I had endometriosis as my periods are so heavy, painful and irregular. After having a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy and hsg they found nothing wrong at all. This was all done in one under general anaesthetic so was just day surgery

The relief of making that first step is so much better than worrying when everything could be fine. I know its scary and I was scared at every appointment but it was always for nothing and I was making myself feel worse. I waited years to get help but I really wish I had gone sooner.
Even though I'm in a better position now to have a baby I have been ready for years and cannot stand this wait any longer

Good luck x

 

[Hannurr]

I also had a 'friend' like that. She knew that me and my partner had been trying for two years at the time and how upset it was making me, then she met somebody and four weeks later she told me they were trying too. Four weeks! About three months ish later she came to me complaining that she was having trouble getting pregnant and was really worried something was wrong. I couldn't help but think hello what about my two years? As it happened she fell pregnant the month after and now has her baby whilst I'm still going month after month with no sign of a becoming a mother.

I don't want to sound like I'm not happy for people having children it just gets harder and harder every month that goes by.

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

I also had a 'friend' like that. She knew that me and my partner had been trying for two years at the time and how upset it was making me, then she met somebody and four weeks later she told me they were trying too. Four weeks! About three months ish later she came to me complaining that she was having trouble getting pregnant and was really worried something was wrong. I couldn't help but think hello what about my two years? As it happened she fell pregnant the month after and now has her baby whilst I'm still going month after month with no sign of a becoming a mother.

I don't want to sound like I'm not happy for people having children it just gets harder and harder every month that goes by.

I think it is natural for us to feel in this way. I feel so let down because I can't conceive and have a baby. And I have been living with this feeling for 6 years now. I don't wish this to anyone. It's a horrible pain.

 

[peachaeo]

I'm sorry, JenniferS92! Having someone close to you like that is the worst. You know what I did that made me feel better, I actually talked to my two friends about their behavior. One is older and she was sort of skeptical about me going to an RE and I said "no offense, but you have 3 kids, so you don't know" and she actually respected that. It also feels good to get it off your chest.

My best friend sent me an email once that said "i know its hard" after I got a BFN and I replied "no you don't" because she hadn't even started TTC yet. She was very understanding after that.

I will say my friends sound a lot more mature than yours, but if they are good friends they will understand your positions somewhat and hopefully provide you with a little more support! Try talking to them calmly and see if they respond....no one who has not gone through IF will ever understand what it's like, but it never hurts to have people that can hold your hand during the process.