rant.... support needed

[justkitty]

First off... I love bfing. I am proud to have got to 7 months and am not ready to stop

BUT!

I am soooo tired. I am tired of 2/3/4 night feeds, every night being different. I am fed up of being the only one who has to drag themselves out of bed to go calm the baby (don't want to co sleep). I am emotionally upset that I feel like this.

There isn't much of a daytime routine, dds napping is inconsistent and short. My ds who is 2 is missing out on my individual time and attention as I am so tired or spending ages trying to feed her and get her to fall asleep. Then we only get half hour 45mins max.

Its her last night in our room and I can't bear the thought of traipsing across the hallway several times a night or having to leao out quicko so she doesn't wake ds who is asleep jext door.

I'm so run down I'm recovering frim a throat infection. I start working in a few weeks time just 2hrs a week so I know she will take a bottle if dh needs to give her one. But then he has never done this. It's been me trying. I don't know whether to wean her onto formula and off breast gradually or whether to keeo feeding and let her drop feeds naturally as she eats more.

My ds was ff and this is so different.

 

[luna_19]

ff babies don't always sleep better, all babies are different.

 

[Darlin65]

Could you pump? That may help you find somewhere in between breast and formula that works for you. Then she is still getting all the nutrients and things from the breast milk but you can trade off night feeds with DH. She may even drink more from the bottle than the breast so she fills up more and sleeps through the night. I know from my 2 boys sometimes they are so pokey about bf'ing because they just enjoy the comfort of the nipple like a pacifier that they don't drink as much or take so long to finish they end up hungry quicker. Good Luck! We have those moments where we feel we want to stop but I'm sure if you just ride it out you can find a solution to keep everyone happy

 

[Misscalais]

You've done so well
I agree with the pumping, if you're not ready to stop just yet build up a stash in the freezer and have your OH get up for at least one feed a night? I still found that even when my DH fed my boys once they moved into formula I'd be still awake anyway because he's so noisy lol!
Do what you feel you need to do Hun

 

[justkitty]

I don't want formula to make her sleep through. I only want my dh to be able to help out occasionally. Pumping sessions are hard with a 2yr old too but I might give it a go.

 

[Kirstiedenman]

I have a 2yr old and when I am pumping I usually either put on his favourite show get out some pencils and paper or read him a book that way he is occupied and I can pump.
When my little one was born he was feeding like crazy and he didn't need to be my midwife said push him out a little even though he may be upset try and occupy him for an extra half hr and then an hr and you will start to be able to go longer between feeds. As soon as I started this he started sleeping better and for longer period. I also made sure that he always had both sides for at least 10 15 minutes each side even if he fell asleep I would wake him by stripping him off or what ever I had to do. He is 4 months and still falls asleep before he is finished. So maybe give that a go with extending of the feeds
You ladies are lucky my husband would never get up in the middle of the night to do a feed as he works 12 hr shifts but I am ok with that but good for those of you that hubby will get up

 

[ButterCup17]

Omg in feeling this way about the inconsistent sleep and it's only been tow months! I was hoping it would be better by then!

 

[justkitty]

Well we have moved my dd into her own room tonight. Dh thinks she will sleep better. I remain sceptical. I can cope with twice a night but I want her to cut down to once a night.

 

[babicyntaf]

I've just started to cut down the night feeds myself. She's almost a year old and until last week was waking 6 or 7 times a night for the boob. I've introduced a bottle and tried to feed her a weetabix just before bed. It seems to be working.
I don't want to do CC or CIO so have swapped boob for bottle. It has cut down her wakings. We're on 2 or 3 a night now and I'm hoping that it'll keep improving. I still give her the boob for one of the night wakings so am not weaning her completely. It does get better!!!

 

[Mummafrog]

Heya, firstly well done for what you have done so far, you should be proud.

I'm a FTM and I'm still pregnant so I have no personal experience. But I was just browsing around and if you decide to try pumping as these other lovely mums have suggested I wanted to share this link with you that I spotted from another BnB user:

https://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/595/calma---breastmilk-feeding-nipple

They are teats for bottles that are designed to imitate the sucking motion a baby needs to use in order to get breastmilk out of the breast, making the transition between bottle and back to the breast easier.
I cannot vouch for how good they are though! But thought I'd share.
Good luck

 

[justkitty]

Thanks all.

I've decided that I'm going to gradually transition to formula so I can get some help from dh or family. My ds has been inconsolable all day and we had a bad night. She has a cold so I'll give it a week or so while she settles before gradually swapping over.

I just feel a sh** mum because I have no vague routine for her so its all my fault. I miss out on so much with my toddler some days eg feeding hourly like today.

I feel sad about it but feel the time is right.

 

[history_girls]

I've just moved over to formula after 7 months of BF.

I LOVED feeding my little Moo but I go back to work fairly soon and knew it had to end then as I really don't want to pump at work. What sealed it was that fact that her weight gain was non exsistent and I was getting into a state about that. She only put on 1lb in 12 weeks, was constant waking up hungry and would only feed for 5 minutes at a time. I tried to introduce a 10pm bottle but she wouldn't do it.

I had stressed about her taking a bottle before. But my HV came round and gave me a good talking to. I have found she takes a bottle of formula really well from me - something I never tried as I thought it had to be Dad.

We've been on formula only for 3 days and I've been sadder than she has. She has only tried to find boob twice but is happy if a bottle is produced. We went swimming on Saturday and I was upset when another Mum just whipped out a boob to feed.

However, my 4 year old was missing out on Mummy lots. So it was the right decision for us. I sobbed through my last feed but she hasn't minded.

I never thought I would feel this sad as I always planned to stop now. I think maybe it is more the fact that my baby is getting bigger which is the problem.

x

 

[justkitty]

Thanks for sharing. I can't even decide which feed to swap and part of me thinks what's the point as it's so convenient to just whip out a boob.

But I also know how much I'll value getting some help occasionally.

It's an emotional roller coaster.

 

[lau86]

I know you are sad to be stopping but I really do think we just 'know' when the time is right. For some that is years for others it's a few months. Whatever it is we can know we've wholly given and sacrificed ourselves for our babies during that time.
I would really like to stop now but am going to continue to 6 months then move over. You can also stop gradually so your LO will still be getting breastmilk for a while yet. Be proud of yourself!