rant time

[Melissa93]

My daughter is with her dad this weekend and when he jas her its at his moms as he lives on base somewhere else

basically his mom sent me this text earlier

We're filling in a form and can we please know Scarlett doctor and doctors surgery due to us wanting to take Scarlett away x

this is the first ive heard of them takin her away, am I overreacting being annoyed at the fact they havent even asked me if they can, her dad didnt even know about it either

and then to add to it I asked her dad earlier how she was as wasnt right yesterday before she went and I thought she was coming down with something, only for him to tell me they had paramedics out to her and then took her out of hours doctors, shes had a temperature and has tonsillitis, they wasnt goin to tell me until tommorow, just feelin shitty that shes ill and im not there for her and feel im not gettin the respect I deserve as her mom

 

[mummylove]

They cant just take her away without ur permission

 

[Leesy]

How old is lo? Are you comfortable with her going away if it's a weekend which is dad's weekend anyway? If not just say no. And in regards to calling paramedics out, I would be forcefully making them all understand if that ever happens again you are to be phoned immediately.

 

[Melissa93]

My daughters just turned 2 if its a weekend to where they said then I dont mind as not too far away but the fact they never even asked I think is out of order, im going to say to her dad if it ever happens again in the future i want to know

 

[Pearls18]

BANG out of order, what form are they filling out?!

 

[Melissa93]

She hasnt said im so annoyed with the whole situation they should have asked me my permission not just go ahead and do what they want in her mother not her, she just tries to take over and shes used to tellin her kids what to do and controlling them but im not having her do the same with me

 

[Melissa93]

It's apparently one of those sun holidays, they wouldn't be able to take her abroad anyway as I have her passport x

 

[Pearls18]

She should run it by you if she was just taking her for the beach for the day, you are her mother, it doesn't matter how far away or for how short a time, if only for politeness not anything else but I think it is important you know where she is, and if it's for a holiday then even more so!

 

[x__amour]

I can't believe they wouldn't even ask. The fact that she said, "We are taking her away" is awful!

 

[emyandpotato]

I would be absolutely furious at both the holiday issue and at the paramedics/illness thing. I think you need to have a serious talk with your MIL and FOB separately to let them know the boundaries.

 

[Melissa93]

My daughters home now, turns out she was so hot she was having convulsions her temperature was 39.7 if had gone up another 0.3 she would of had to go hospital, I had to stop myself gettin upset hearing it and they never told me as it 'wasnt serious'

 

[JessdueJan]

definitely not over reacting. I would be furious! Hope you manage to have a word with both FOB and his mother about both things. xx

 

[supertabby]

I would try to approach it calmly but firmly. Say you are glad they called the paramedics as that was the right thing to do under the circumstances but you're very hurt that they didn't contact you immediately - and that if that happens again it would be unacceptable for them not to inform you.

With regards to the holiday tell them you're happy to discuss any plans like that in the future but you feel put out that they've assumed it's fine to take her on holiday without asking you first. As her mother you want to be involved in such decisions.

If they get annoyed just try to keep your cool and repeat that it's not the paramedics or the holiday you have a problem with - it's being kept out of the loop, obviously they shouldn't need to get permission to ring paramedics but they should call you after as soon as possible, and all other major things you should be consulted on.

I'd be seriously peed off but you'll have the upper hand if you stay calm and firm.

 

[Melissa93]

Yeah ive said to her dad in future if it ever happens again I want to know, said to my partner in future If I think shes coming down with something when shes due to go his I just wont send her, I knew she wasnt right Friday and if I hadnt had a funeral to go to I probably wouldn't have sent her x