Rant.......

[lalitas charm]

Sorry for the rant but I'm in the house on my own and I've nobody to rant at right now.

I'm so fed up with this pregnancy malarky. I'm in constant pelvic pain, murdered with heartburn and for the last few days I've been barely able to eat for vomitting. ARGH!!! Because of all this I'm pretty sleep deprived and its all getting a bit too much for me. I'm losing my patience for my animals which annoys me and I'm finding it too much effort to be nice to people at work when they say stupid things to me. Normally I'm nice to everyone but now I can't speak to people as I am so irritable all the time.

I live in northern Ireland and my DH has to be in England during the week for work which leaves me to try and cope with everything on my own and I'm really struggling. My DH had to work this weekend and my mum is going on hols for 18 days tomorrow which leaves me completely alone and it scares me so much. I saw my mum today and she was saying how worried she was at how depressed I am and how she is leaving me...... If she was that worried why the hell did she book a holiday for 18 days?!?!?! There are people I can call upon if I am stuck but I'm still worried...... I feel so abandoned.

I'm feeling let down by the hospital at the moment as well. I still dont have my notes. My consultant held onto them after my 12wk appointment for reasons known only to himself and at each MW appointment I have been given grief by the MW for not having them........ Dont ask me, ask the consultant!?!?! When I try to ask questions they are dismissive and when I say how miserable I am they dont even listen.

I just feel like I am trapped in this never ending misery and there is nothing I can do to escape it. I dont blame the baby, it isn't her fault that my body is doing this. I just want her born soon so it can all be over.

I had a full on panic attack over it all last Tues after my MW appointment so my DH has arranged with his work that he is going to be able to come home for 5 weeks from the week before the baby is due which is a huge weight off my shoulders but until then I have to struggle on as I have been.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to get it off my chest.

 

[clarabella]

aaww hun, your baby will be here soon. From previous experience, i'd say that at least your mum is going on hols BEFORE lo arrives, as you will most definately need her after your baby is here.. I know what you mean though, i've been feeling pretty up and down over the last couple of weeks, and I feel like i am getting little emotional support. I am still working, have a toddler to look after, dh is away most of the week (in northern ireland funnily enough!) and sometimes having to cope with all this on my own gets too much, but when i have a moan to dh, it falls on deaf ears most of the time, which really doesn't help matters. Anyway, this isn't about me. It's about you, you should call your consultant and demand your notes back, you should have them on your person at all times, and it's shocking that he/she has kept them all this time. Also, if you feel that you are depressed, you MUST speak to someone, as this feeling won't magically disappear once your baby is here, as your hormones, coupled with sleep deprivation will be all over the place for the first few weeks. I'd make an point of going to see your midwife/gp for this reason alone.

Hopefully this is all just a temporary blip, but you really need to be looked after right now.

 

[bana]

I just want to give you the biggest hug ever. I have the symptoms as you and its not nice. I was getting to the point where i wanted something to be wrong with me (not baby) so i could be induced and just get it over and done with. It really is getting to much. When yr sick after EVERY meal u just dont feel like eating anymore. and Heartburn well the meds arnt working anymore. My OH recently left for 4 days whilst he went fishing! nice, i felt like shit for the first two days had a panic attack felt really anxious so i totally no how you feel. The worst part of it was i couldnt ring him as his phone had no signal in the part of england that he went to. Just take deep breaths and stay in bed- cant believe yr still working! get signed off or call in sick! Hope u feel better!

 

[lalitas charm]

Thanks ladies, I appreciate your kind comments. Its horrible when you're left to get on with it on your own, its nice to know that other people feel the same about it. I'm not very good at asking for help at the best of times and now I have nobody to ask anyway.

I know what you mean about wanting there to be something wrong with you Bana, I feel like that as well. I'm literally clinging to the fact that baby is still breech in the hope that somehow this will mean that they will give me a section or some kind of date which I can work to knowing that it will all be over.

My mum goes on a lot of holidays!! Fair play to her and I dont begrudge her them. She's going on hols in December as well but at least by then I'll have some of my independence back.

I'm still going to work as if I didn't I'd be completely on my own for days on end. I'm going to use some annual leave to make them short work weeks tho. My last day will be 25th Sept so it isn't that bad really. I just get fed up with people constantly saying stupid things to me so I kinda hide out in my office with my team, they know better than to make stupid comments to me!! LOL!!

 

[bana]

Funny you should say that about the breech, my baby was at first and yes i was fingers crossed everytime i went to my mw appointment- really wanted a c section! but no he turned- damn it! knowing my luck he'll be overdue- just you wait! For stupid comments i dont no if youve read it already but the other day there was a thread with a load on them and they were funny to read and makes you feel better to know that other ppl get them aswell- worth checking out! x

 

[sara k]

its really not easy to spend these days on ur own...specially when partner is on job for a week...i couldnt even suggest u to go with ur mother on holidays...but atleast i can give u hugs,,,whwn ever ur husband come back ..dont forget to go some where on weekend