Ready to call it quits - sensitive

[mentormel]

I am 16+6 weeks pregnant after a mmc at 6 1/2 weeks in Feb. This entire pregnancy has been filled with uncontrollable anxiety and now depression. I am on medication and see a counselor, but I can't get it out of my head and heart that something is wrong. There is no physical evidence, so everyone thinks I'm nuts. My dh is exasperated and doesn't know what to do. Honestly, I cannot go on like this for another three weeks before I get my 20 week ultrasound. I have an 18 week appt. next week, but I don't feel like I can wait until then either. I feel as if I need to demand one now, but what would be the reason? What do I do? I can't take this anymore.

 

[v2007]

Pregnancy is a stressful time but after a loss its even more so.

If i was you, i would call your MW and ask if there is any chance of a reassurance scan.

To 'demand' one probably wont get you anywhere but tell them your anxieties and they may help.

V xxxx

 

[Beadette]

Could you afford a private reassurance scan? A friend of mine is having one near us for £45.

Or hiring a doppler?

HUGS xx

 

[mentormel]

I had a doppler and was using it every day. I just smashed it because I thought I was becoming too obsessive with it. My OB knows my anxieties. I've never asked them for a reassurance ultrasound. I can afford a private ultrasound, but I think that would scare me if something wasn't right.

 

[hb1]

no harm in asking and if they say no then a private scan might help - especially if you explain your circumstances to the sonographer.

Hope you get it

hx

 

[secretbaby]

Sadly I know exactly how you feel ((((hugs)))) - I lost my son at 27 weeks gestation after my waters went (with no warning at 20.6 weeks). I am constantly on my guard for any sign of anything going wrong - people can tell me till there blue in the face that this is a 'different pregnancy' but the worry is very bad for me.

BUT - I have passed the stage where I had problems last time, I still am very panicky but to pass a milestone has helped. Your 20 week scan will be a very nerve racking experience I hope it will also give you more peace once you have passed this.

I just have to take the pregnancy one day at a time, each day just hoping there are no bad symptoms and breathing a huge sigh of relife once the day is gone! It does make the pregnancy seem long - but I can only manage one day at a time without thinking too far into the future.

ANYONE who has had a loss of any kind will feel huge huge anxiety in the next pregnancy (and maybe to a slightly lesser degree in every pregnancy). Keep posting on here - we may not have any magic words but we do know what you are going through (you should read my post of a few weeks back I was TOTALLY freaking out - the replies from people who knew what I was going through helped so much).

 

[Peril]

I am 16 3 today. I feel exactly the same as you. I was told at 16 weeks last time that LO was not viable and I had to deliver. I am so worried and panicky with no cause. Scans so far have been fine, bloods were good, no pain & no bleeding. But I just can't help worry something is wrong and LO won't have a heartbeat. Due to my history I am being scanned frequently. I have one today and I have barely slept a wink. I have lain here most of night trying desperately to feel some sort of movement to reassure myself.

Give your mw a ring, mine is keen to keep my anxiety down, hopefully yours will be same and will refer for a reassurance scan. They did this for me a couple of weeks ago, they did not measurements etc but just a 30 sec scan just so I could see hb and movement xxx best wishes Hun xxx

 

[marnie79]

give them a call hun, the peace of mind u would get from it is worth it, i hate the worry of pal so get every reassrance u can xx

 

[SmileyShazza]

Mentormel – our stories are quite similar our last pregnancy ended in mmc at 6w 3d although it wasn’t discovered till 13w 3d. I am just a day behind you and I do get these worries too – they are perfectly natural.

We heard the HB last week when I went for my 16w midwife check which did put my mind at rest. I brought a Doppler but when I tried it after it arrived last Thursday (two days after the mw appt) I couldn’t find the babies HB so I have put it away in a cupboard and haven’t dared try it again as I am worried that if I keep trying it will actually start me getting really worried again.

If you are feeling this anxious can you give your midwife a call and ask if you can come in so she can check the babies heartbeat for you? I know it isn’t the same as having a scan but I do think that scans can be very addictive as the anxiety soon builds up again afterwards. Our 20 week scan seems so long away but I keep telling myself the likelihood of anything happening now is so small and that worrying myself really is not good for me or the baby.

Nothing that anyone can say will make you feel any better I know PAL is so scary and so filled with anxiety and emotions that it makes it a very difficult experience but you owe it to yourself and bubs to remain as stress free as possible. We may not be able to do anything but we can listen and understand how you are feeling

 

[ecenur]

I am 16+6 weeks pregnant after a mmc at 6 1/2 weeks in Feb. This entire pregnancy has been filled with uncontrollable anxiety and now depression. I am on medication and see a counselor, but I can't get it out of my head and heart that something is wrong. There is no physical evidence, so everyone thinks I'm nuts. My dh is exasperated and doesn't know what to do. Honestly, I cannot go on like this for another three weeks before I get my 20 week ultrasound. I have an 18 week appt. next week, but I don't feel like I can wait until then either. I feel as if I need to demand one now, but what would be the reason? What do I do? I can't take this anymore.

I think you should talk to someone about it.

 

[ecenur]

Pregnancy is a stressful time but after a loss its even more so.

If i was you, i would call your MW and ask if there is any chance of a reassurance scan.

To 'demand' one probably wont get you anywhere but tell them your anxieties and they may help.

V xxxx

Yes i agree

 

[ecenur]

I had a doppler and was using it every day. I just smashed it because I thought I was becoming too obsessive with it. My OB knows my anxieties. I've never asked them for a reassurance ultrasound. I can afford a private ultrasound, but I think that would scare me if something wasn't right.

you shouldnt be worried

 

[ecenur]

give them a call hun, the peace of mind u would get from it is worth it, i hate the worry of pal so get every reassrance u can xx

that's a good idea

 

[ecenur]

I am 16+6 weeks pregnant after a mmc at 6 1/2 weeks in Feb. This entire pregnancy has been filled with uncontrollable anxiety and now depression. I am on medication and see a counselor, but I can't get it out of my head and heart that something is wrong. There is no physical evidence, so everyone thinks I'm nuts. My dh is exasperated and doesn't know what to do. Honestly, I cannot go on like this for another three weeks before I get my 20 week ultrasound. I have an 18 week appt. next week, but I don't feel like I can wait until then either. I feel as if I need to demand one now, but what would be the reason? What do I do? I can't take this anymore.

not a good idea!

 

[ecenur]

Pregnancy is a stressful time but after a loss its even more so.

If i was you, i would call your MW and ask if there is any chance of a reassurance scan.

To 'demand' one probably wont get you anywhere but tell them your anxieties and they may help.

V xxxx

aww that's so cute, i agree with you.