Ready to give up

[tuckie27]

My BFing journey has been hell
I started out with inverted nipples, bled badly, had to use a shield, was able to wean off the shield, EBF'd for first 3.5 months (it was like 24/7 cluster feeding) but every appointment I was told she wasn't gaining enough...over & over & over. I was at my wits end. She wasn't happy, wasn't sleeping long, never seemed satisfied & I was tired of feeling like I was failing to give her the most basic need. I started giving her a formula bottle at bedtime. Things were going pretty well from 4-5.5 months. I enjoyed BFing and loved how it conforted her and we bonded. The formula bottle took some pressure of me too & she seemed more satisfied & my supply was fine. She started gaining slowly but surely. Then the biting started. At 6 months she got her 2 bottom teeth. I've tried every trick in the book. My LO will go days without biting and then all of the sudden she bites. My nipples have been through hell. I slowly added another formula bottle in and was pumping and giving her those bottles too. Some days both nipples were so incredibly sore from bites that I couldn't bear to BF her & now the last week or so, she hardly wants my breasts at all. My supply has suffered. She is constantly distracted. I've tried eliminating distractions. She takes a few sucks and rolls, takes a few sucks and looks around, etc. she acts like she isn't even interested in BFing anymore but she'll take a bottle & finish it or eat solids just fine, so I know she's hungry. Now I'm not even getting shit when I pump. I use to get 2-4oz. The last week I get .25-.5 oz from BOTH breasts! I don't know what to do. I feel like crying. I wanted to BF her longer but its just been one damn thing after another. Should I just give up and call it quits at this point?

 

[missk1989]

If you really want to carry on there are things you can do to boost your supply and get things back in track but it will take a lot of effort and you need to decide whether it is worth it for or will just cause you more stress. You have dine so well up until now but you need to consider what is best for you aswek as lo.

 

[tinytabby]

I agree with Miss K. You've done brilliantly to get this far. I don't think there is any point in doing anything if it is so stressful. Happy mummy = happy baby and that's true at any stage.

 

[tuckie27]

Thanks for your responses. I feel so torn. Thinking about our BFing relationship ending makes me incredibly sad, but BFing her has become incredibly stressful for me. I tried nursing her last night & again this morning and she bit me both times for now in going to try to keep pumping and pray my output increases. Thanks for the encouragement. I am so lucky and grateful to even have made it this far. I didn't even think I'd be able to BF with my nipples, but I did with a lot of hard work! I'm proud of what I've done so far & they say every drop counts, right?

 

[tinytabby]

Every drop does count!

I think I did my last bf this week. I've been combi feeding since LO was 7 months and she's bf less and less.

I thought I'd be upset but tbh it's a massive relief. I'm proud of what I've done for her but I do feel that at least now the struggle is over!