"Ready" to TTC, but still waiting... :(

[bmo88]

Just a bit of a vent. DH and I are very ready emotionally to start TTC. However, our logical rationale is having us wait.

We are still young (27 and 29) and have time, but still would love to have a family of our own. We are waiting 1 1/2 years or more for a few, very good reasons:

1. I just started a new position as an Executive Director of 75 person organization. I am working 60-70 hours a week and it will be very stressful and demanding in the first year as I get my feet under me and establish myself.

2. Financially, we make very good money and could afford a child. However, we have about $20,000 left in student loans and $11,000 in a car loan. Our current payment plan has us pay it off in a year. So, we want those gone before TTC.

3. Emergency fund balance is finally at 4 months expenses, but we want to have $5,000 in baby savings (for medical, start up and lost wages). We have about $1,000 so far of the $5,000 goal.

So, we agree on our plans and logically it all makes sense, but emotionally it is still really difficult to accept that it will be over 2 years before we have a child.

Is anyone else dealing with waiting for "logical" reasons, but so ready emotionally to become a mother? If so, how are you coping?

 

[lovemybubba]

Hi, I'm not in the same position as you, as we're only waiting to try for medical reasons. But I just wanted to say that you both sound very responsible and I love that.
It must be hard emotionally to put your wants aside and wait.
I think want you're both doing sounds brilliant because it means once you both do start trying and fall pregnant, then you'll be in a position where you can just enjoy every second of it.
Good luck with everything xx

 

[ccoastgal]

We are the same age! However I feel old not young to have a our baby #1. I admire the fact that you and you hubby are so responsible! I know it is hard and for me my DH and I waited (still waiting) for the right time. Now that we have our finances in order and a huge apartment I am so ready. My DH on the other hand wants to wait until God knows when which is really frustrating. So at least you and your husband are on the same page. But I completely understand how you are feeling!

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

I'm in a very similar position. I want to be a SAHM so we are paying off all our debt and working on getting a year of income in the bank for me so I can which is why we are WTT

 

[gigglebox]

We're waiting as we're starting a business and need to "feel out" if it's going to be profitable or not. It could be as early as 6 months from now or as late as another year +. We should also get our savings back on track (we all but wiped it out buying a house)...honestly it hadn't occurred to me to do that before TTC but we probably should, especially to pay for hospital bills. There are also some things I want to do around the house that having a baby will make quite difficult to do (like DIY projects and fixing up our messy basement, organizing our stuff, etc.).

This will be our second, though...but I remember all too well how insanely painful it could be at times WTT for #1. You're doing the right thing though

 

[xstitcher87]

My husband and I are 27 and we're doing the logical wait too, although only 6 more months to go! As Australian's our University debt is actually interest free from the government (at the moment) and is taken out in our taxes before we even get our salaries, so we aren't worried about that debt, thank goodness, student loan stuff sounds really stressful and expensive.

However, we are waiting until January 2016 so that my husband will have been in his new job (police officer) for 12 months, it lets us get used to the shift work again and allows us to take 1 more overseas trip and still have savings for the baby. I am also hoping to be promoted (should hear in the next few weeks so fingers crossed!).

I also had a hysteroscopy, d&c and polypectomy in May, my follow up appointment is in 2 weeks, so once she gives me the all clear (fingers crossed again) I can lay my plans with more certainty.

12 months out from TTC - Got an overall health check from my Dr, work on getting fitter and eating better
6 months out from TTC - Another health screening (my dr does a pre-pregnancy screening for iron levels, thyroid function, kidney function, full blood count, STIs and immunisation status)
4 months out from TTC - Immunisations for whooping cough, flu shot etc and any others that need updating like tetanus.
3 months out from TTC - Pre-natal vitamins, change my Blood Pressure meds to a pregnancy safe one
TTC date - cease pill.

I like having a clear timeline and looking forward to each new step in the process breaks it down into smaller chunks. Plus, I have a list of things I want to do because I often find if I make a list and try and cross everything off, time flies....so, time flies when you're busy?

My husband and I have a conversation every now and then, usually triggered by an article in the news or on facebook about what our parenting will look like, are we baby wearers? are we comfortable with co sleeping? will we use dummies (pacifiers)? What type of discipline will we use?

We have been waiting for about 18 months now I think...only 6 more to go...getting there slowly.

 

[bmo88]

@xstitcher87: thanks for your response, I love the idea of having a timeline with tasks to complete and things to look forward to.