Realistically how old is too old??

[softy]

Hi everyone, I am currently going through a missed miscarriage and just waiting for things to hopefully happen naturally.

I turned 43 in February and I have an 18yr old, 16yr old, and 3yr old. The two older children are from first marriage and 3yr old is from my current marriage. My husband is 16years younger than myself. I dont feel 43 and my 18yr old even asks us to go out clubbing with him occassionally. Dont worry I dont dress like a teeny bopper and try look cool lol!

Does trying to have another child at my age really matter? For me I am so hot and cold. One day I just want it so badly then the next I watch a show on Europe and think ok it's time to think about a holiday sight seeing the world. Then I think well that will only take a month or two and then what? Is it unfair to have another child at my age? I mean is it unfair on the child? Are there any mums on here with this situation or experience? I met a mum years ago who was older than me, she had a son around 14yrs of age and she said as much as she loved him she wished she'd not gone back again as she is over doing the sames things later in life.

Sorry for the long story but I'm not sure what to do. I think the fact I keep coming back to the situation means Im not done and im afraid of regret which ever path I choose.

 

[future_numan]

What feels right for you ?
I think age is just a number. I have met 45 yr olds that you'd swear is 30..
I also have older children ( 21, 20 , 18 & 14 months) and I plan on having another ( God willing)..
I have seen programs where women ( with the help of IVF) have had babies well into their 60's..
I know that I wouldn't want to be a 60 yr old new mom but if it works for them..kudos..

 

[softy]

That's the problem I dont know. We were trying for about 15 months then didnt actually stop but just didnt try at right times or even bother finding out when right time was. I have lost this one and now I dont know what to do. I wonder if I am selfish having another baby now because he/she might feel like the odd one out at school having an old mum when potentially lots of other kids will have a young mum. I also wonder will I die that much earlier and leave my child to grow up without me from a young age. I know young mums can die too but the odds are it would be the older mum. Will I tire more easily in another 10 years time when I should be running someone to swimming lessons. Are my thoughts just based around stereo typing from media and doctors and the general public. I'm in australia but I googled this question and some thing from Dr Phil came up saying it's not a good idea cuz you have to start having the death talk with your kids from a much younger age. I am all for everyone doing what they believe is best and I would never in a million years think badly of anyone for their choices. Im just wondering has anyone else struggled with these thoughts or did everyone just jump in and not give it a second thought? It would be nice to know if anyone has felt this way too, and how did you resolve it?

 

[future_numan]

I haven't personally felt this way but my DH has..
He's 43 and struggled with the idea of being in his 50's with a teenager.
I think he came to the realization that who cares what others think because he has alot to offer a child by being "older".. we are finacially stable, more patient, have life experience then he / we did back in our 20's.
I see alot of public women who have babies well into their 40's and nobody blinks an eye at that..
Do what feels right for YOU..