Really getting me down :(

[sophiecouldwe]

hello. ive not bin on here 4 a while cos ive bin having a lot of problems at home that have affected me so much that ive jst not had chance. as ive said before me n my other half were planning to start a family together and i was so so happy. we both were. i didnt tell my mum wot we were plannin becos i thought until im pregnant this is between me n my boyf. but for sum reason my mum guessd that sumthin was goin on and instead of tlkin to me read my text messages and found out our plans. she didnt tell me 4 weeks jst kept shouting and arguing wiv me and i had no idea why. then she told me that she knew everythin and that she just wanted to help me....
but i dont need help! this happend about a week ago n every single day since then we have argued about it. she has made me feel like im stupid and tht i dont no nethin. shes made me feel like im not normal cos shes sed how many 18yr old plans 2 get pregnant which made me so mad. shes made me a doctors appointment cos she thinks there is sumthin so wrong wiv me tht i need 2 go see sum1 about it like a phyciatrist (however u spell it lol) they are making arangments for me to go to India to stay wiv my aunite for a few months to 'sort myself out'! shes made me and my boyf have a 'talk' with my parnets about everythin and cos im 6 yrs younger than my boyf they made it seem like he was being irresponsible and not caring to let me even consider having a baby and it must be him puttin ideas into his head when actually i want this so bad for me not jst for my boyf n wat he wants! they making me feel guilty for seeing him n spending time wiv him!!!
rite now my life is a mess. i stopped takin the pill cos thts wot i wanted to do not because sum1 was influencing my decision. but because my dream,our dream was to have a baby and now i feel like im being made to feel guilty for tht like its such a bad thing. my OH has told me he wants me to go back on the pill now cos he thinks im too young wen we both no im not its jst wot my parents have sed. im so confussed and dont no wot 2 do!!
so sorry bout the incrdibly LONG rant but im goin insane! i need to talk 2 ppl hu r my age n understand what its like to have the feelings tht i have cos rite now i feel like im the only 18yr old in the world!
xxxxx

 

[brewanneanan]

it is your decision what you do in life, you're 18 your an adult, you can make youre own decisions in life, she cant tell you to go live in india and bla bla bla..... this is up too you an youre oh!

 

[dannyboygirl]

Your an adult now and a mom...Do whats best for you n your child...I agree with Brew you make your own decisions your not a minor anymore..Good luck

 

[Amy]

You should do what you think is best for you and your child but remember your mum is just looking out for you as her child, im sure you'd do the same for your daughter, she just wants the best for you.
Do you have a house for you and your baby or do you still live with your mum ?
All your mum wants you to do is think wisely about your desicion as it is very hard being a teenange mum and not being able to go out with mates or have wild holidays etc

Everything will work out in the end for you, try not to stress to much cos if you do get pregnant stress aint good for you.

Good luck sweetie

 

[Lyrah]

Sweetie, you are 18 now. Your parents can't tell you what to do or make decisions for you.. they are only trying to protect you though as in their eyes, you will always be their little girl and I should think it probably scares them to think that you are about to start a family of your own. However, if you both do want this hun, then you go for it and don't let anyone tell you any different. I'm 18 too and me and my OH are ttc too.. I also don't want my parents knowing my plan until I'm pregnant. So I do understand how you must be feeling right now. Just make sure you do want YOU want to do and not do something different for somebody else. This is your life, your choices and you are an adult now. I'm always here if you wanna chat flower. Keep your chin up about things and be strong, I'm sure it will all work out well in the end.
xxx

 

[Char&Bump-x]

I'm 18 too and me and my OH are ttc too.. I also don't want my parents knowing my plan until I'm pregnant. So I do understand how you must be feeling right now. Just make sure you do want YOU want to do and not do something different for somebody else.

Me too, and i agree with Lyrah, do what YOU want to do. x

 

[polo_princess]

Can i just ask you ladies why you dont want your parents to know you're TTC?

 

[Lyrah]

I just dont want to get shouted at. I know that they would be the most supportive parents in the world but a few times I've wanted something in life and have told them.. and they have put me down about it. I'm really sensitive so I do get hurt easily and I don't want them to upset me if they were to find out. However, if they were to find out, I'd still do it anyway because me and my OH are ready for it and it's what we want. I just don't want them to upset me or anything

 

[Alexas Mommy]

i think that if you guys have your own place, then it is your business, but if you are still living with your parents, it is completely their business. their house their rules no matter how old you are. i was 19 when my oh and i started ttc, but i had already been living in my own place for two and a half years, and oh had been living with me for a year. not to mention, we discussed it with his parents and asked for their input, and they gave us their blessings and were very pleased.

 

[Char&Bump-x]

I dont want my mum to find out because she'll 'mummy' me to much, IYKWIM.
And i dont wanna have to deal with her asking me questions all the time.

 

[xxEMZxx]

I feel for you, Im 19 and me and my fiance are trying. I have friends that have had babies at 18 and have never been happier. At the end of the day YOU ARE AN ADULT and your parents cannot force you not to have a baby they should support your decison. I can understand why you havent told them, me and my partner havent told anyone and Im dreading telling his family as they are sooooo interfering but at the end of the day it is your life and ou should do what makes you happy.

 

[sparkswillfly]

i think that if you guys have your own place, then it is your business, but if you are still living with your parents, it is completely their business. their house their rules no matter how old you are. i was 19 when my oh and i started ttc, but i had already been living in my own place for two and a half years, and oh had been living with me for a year. not to mention, we discussed it with his parents and asked for their input, and they gave us their blessings and were very pleased.

I totally agree with you, you cant expect your parents to not be concerned and express their opinions if you still live with them. They are probably worried that they are going to have to help you, financially and practically. Which is completely understandable.

 

[charliesam]

your mum is just shouting at u because they want the best for you and know how hard it is bringing up a child, i am 18 and my baby is due on friday, i am so exited and its worth it but i thought i knew better than my mum and being pregnant u realise how much u need your mum and how much she went through to bring you into the world

 

[Nik_]

i think that if you guys have your own place, then it is your business, but if you are still living with your parents, it is completely their business. their house their rules no matter how old you are. i was 19 when my oh and i started ttc, but i had already been living in my own place for two and a half years, and oh had been living with me for a year. not to mention, we discussed it with his parents and asked for their input, and they gave us their blessings and were very pleased.

I whole heartedly agree with this. Even if you're no longer a minor, if you're still living at home you have to listen to what your parents tell you as it's their house, not yours.

 

[Elli21]

The way im going to look at it is as if it were my daughter TTC at 18.

I wouldnt shout, i wouldnt tell her no, coz we all know what happens when you tell someone no when they want something so badly!! I would just let her know its hard and although its lovely being a young mum, it does have its hardships.
I would want for my daughter what she wanted for herself. But i dont think id try and encourage it.
Now before someone jumps on me...Im a teen mum, well i was, i was 17 when i fell pregnant first and 19 when i fell pregnant with my second.

 

[sophiecouldwe]

thanx guys for all ur support and oppinions. im struggling a lot at the mo! i totally agree wiv the fact tht living in my mum n dads house means living by their rules but me n my OH at the mo are looking for our own house before i become pregnant so we can be settled in for wen the baby finally does cum. im exactly the same as lyrah i didnt tell my parents because i am sooooo sensitive and hate arguments and my parents no that and almost use it to their advantage cos they no the more they shout at me in the end i will give up. but im 18 and feel like i shouldnt even be gettin shouted at anymore about sumthin that is to do with my life.
my mum is taking it so badly blaming herself thinkin shes brought me up wrong. she now dusnt trust a word i say. shes taking my phone of me, my car keys, this morning she even forced me 2 take the pill in front of her! wen ive told her that its not wot i want. im goin insane and i actually jst dont no wot 2 do!!

 

[Alexas Mommy]

good job on realizing that! can i just suggest that you just try to prove to your mother that you are responsible, by taking your bcp until you guys do get a place, and maybe wait a few months after you get your place, to try, just to make sure you can handle the responsibilities of taking care of yourself and living together as a couple. just a thought good luck! edit just wanted to add that even though you may be pretty much taking care of yourself already, there are so many things you take for granted when living with parents, you just dont realize it. also, living with your oh is way different than living separately, so it is a good idea to wait a few months to get used to the lifestyle change, before you bring a baby into the world. not to mention your relationship will change majorly when you have a baby too. not trying to sound like a know it all just wanted to inform you! again good luck with your decisions!

 

[xarlenex]

I'm sorry but you're 18..she cant take your car keys from you (unless shes paying for it?) or your mobile.

I was 17, just turning 18 when I fell pregnant..A little different from you, but as my boyfriend was 2 and a bit years olders than me, my family accused him of all sorts, like yours are doing. My family went as far as saying he put HOLES in condoms..Asked me how I knew that he didnt, he cuda done it before we had sex, and had the condom waiting by the bedside, crap like this. Was so frustrating, but eventually it all passed. So from that side, I know were your coming from.

I was never actually ttc, but I reckon they would have reacted the same way. Maybe not as extreme as sending me away. They really have no right to do that. I agree, if your under her roof she could have her say, but it sounds like shes bullying you. And going through your messages it totally out of order, she should have came out and asked you.

The only thing I can advise, is to get your own place as soon as possible. Really hope it all improves soon xx

 

[Lyrah]

Hey again sweetie.

I want to say I completely agree with this:

also, living with your oh is way different than living separately, so it is a good idea to wait a few months to get used to the lifestyle change, before you bring a baby into the world.

Reason being is that I moved 200miles away from home when I was just 16 to be with my OH and I'll be completely honest with you here, it is a lot harder than you may think. I thought it would be soo easy living away from home and with my OH.. but it does take a lot of work. Everything is so much different when you are living in your own place away from parents and it does take a little while to adjust to it all. I just wanted to say this because I think it's a good idea to wait a few months when you and OH do have your own place, just so you can get used to being around each other in your own home and adjust to it all. Of course honey, it's completely up to you but while you are under your parents roof.. it might be a good idea to prove to your mum that you are responsible and that you are ok about everything. I hope I haven't come across wrong in this post.. I didn't mean to sound like I'm telling you what's best for you or anything because that is entirely up to you, I'm just saying from my experiences that it does take a lot of getting used to. Saying that though sweetie, I really do wish you the best of luck with it all. I hope that you can work this out with your mum, it's not fair of her to take your phone and car keys.. you are 18 at the end of the day. Again, I apologize if I've come across wrong in this post! Good luck lovely

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I just wanted to say that wanting to TTC when you're 18 obviously is at least partly normal because there seems to be a fair amount of us around that age in here. I'm 19 and would start tomorrow if my OH would let me! On the topic of your mum, i just wanted to possibly agree with the others in terms of showing her you're responsible and respect her wishes until you move out. But also that it is completely out of order to take your mobile and your car keys. I know you live under her roof but you are, at the end of the day, an adult