Really struggling today ladies. 1wk on :(

[BabyBoyle]

Hi girls.


Spent Thurs - last night keeping busy and with friends and i felt so much better, bit more lifted, but still thinking about her constantly.

Today i cant stop clock watching, remembering how much in pain i was at certain times, every hour that i got the pessaries and the pethadine, every feeling i had in my tummy...

This is going to hurt forever isnt it?!

I want my little girl here, i want her here NOW. i should be getting ready for my 20wk scan in a few weeks.. This is HORRIBLE.


Cant stop bursting into tears.

Im a strong person and reading other peoples posts have filled me with sadness, but today im turning into a complete mess with it all.

She should be with me now.





Im hurting so much, and i feel so empty.. I want her so bad, i want to try for another baby but i feel guilty and people will judge me.

Im not even in a relationship and Madisons dad is a twat and i would never go back there.. But i would do anything for a baby.. please dont critiscise me, im hurting SO much...

is this normal

 

[miss cakes]

hey came back here to see how you were probably not much use to you my heart goes out to you and you are a very strong lady babyboyle xxx

 

[oldmamamia]

hey donna, was going to send you a pm to see how you were getting on, you are still in my thoughts every day. I cant give you any advice or tell you that things will get easier but people do talk about time being a great healer, i dont know, if and when you do get pregnant again it will never be a replacement for madison, she will always be your 1st born daughter with the beautiful blue eyes and your love for her will be there forever, i thought your tatoo was amazing, shes there on your arm every minute of every day. I think the dreadful shock of what happened last week has now sunk in and you are now living the nightmare reality of it, a huge piece of you is missing and i really dont know how you start to mend that xxx big hugs xxxx wish i could take some of your pain away xx

 

[moonbeam_sea]

 

[jojo23]

hope your ok hun, think days like this are gonna come and go!!! take all the time you need for yourself and dont worry about anyone else, your number 1 right now.
madison wouldnt want to see her mummy sad, really hope youre ok and we can all help each other along xxx

 

[babesx3]

Massive how you are feeling is completely normal and exactly how i felt

 

[cindersmcphee]

Some days will be better than others. I had a bad time last night as dh was in bed as going back to work. Think it was realisation that life was going back to "normal". I understand wanting new baby. I am really lucky as have a wonderful husband who I love very much. But I am waiting to try and find out reasons for the losses before I consider trying again. I know one thing though I will never be able to relax and enjoy a pregnancy.

 

[nattys]

Hi,
No one will judge you at all x I understand completely where you are coming from Its been nearly 3 weeks since I said goodbye & the days are starting to getting easier, I still think about our baby everyday and like you keep thinking about what should be happening
I also understand your desire to try for another baby, I want the feel emptiness to go away. I am hoping to TTC fron 01 Apr and to be honest this is the only thing keeping me going at the moment. Nothing can ever replace our special babies and we just have to take one day at a time xx

 

[maggsy11]

xmagsx

 

[LilMissHappy]

aww darl. it will get easier but you just take it at your own speed. you are an amazing woman and mummy to madison. hugs xxxxxxxxx

 

[Imalia]

Losing our angel was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life, and yes, you're right, it's going to hurt for a long time. But it does get easier. I still think about him everyday, and it hurts everyday that he isn't here with me. I'm not going to say you'll get over it, because you won't, I won't, not now, and not ever. But you will learn to live with it.

I think we can all understand the want or need to have another baby. I would have done anything to be pregnant again right away, in fact the first time I got my period, I was literally floored, reduced to a sobbing heap on the bathroom floor. I'm pretty sure everything you're feeling is normal.

It's ok to feel the way you do, you're dealing with something no parent should ever have to.

 

[RobenR]

I understand the guilt you feel for wanting another baby, and it will always be a catch-22 bittersweet joy when another one comes. This is normal.

I know your pain and I empathize with you. The pain will fade in time, trite but true. Madison will always live in a special place in your heart and eventually there won't be as much hurt on a day to day basis. It's been 2 years for me and I find anniversaries the hardest to get through.

Everyone is here for you. Spill out all you need to on this site if you have to. I did and it helped me stay sane.

Message me if you ever need someone who has been in your position.

Bless.

 

[Barbiegirl90]

You are an AMAZING person, a very very strong and beautiful woman. Madsion is resting with the angels now and yes you will miss her everday, why shouldnt you?! But you shouldnt feel any guilt ive told u this u couldnt of done any more for that beuatiful little girl hun !!! Yes her Dad is a twat (know u in person and can confirm u should NOT go back there, I think id have to slap u babe haha) well u know were I am if u need me and if u feel it right to have a baby do it for you, why should you worry about what other people are saying or critisising you. You need to do things for YOU now!! Take some time and think about yourself! Love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[faun]

It will still feel so raw as it was only a week ago hun, Madison will be so proud of how you are coping you are showing amazing strength x

 

[chrissy5]

hunni. already spoken to you but thought i'd pop here and see how you are. Its a natural reaction to want to be pregnant again, nobody should judge or criticise you. I really feel for you hunni and feel free to pm me here or messgae me on facebook or even text. my number is on my fb profile xxx big babes xxx

 

[CeeCee2010]

Aww hun, wish I could give you a hug and take your pain away. Stay strong sweetie and remember how proud Madison is of you for always giving her everything and for always being you XXX

 

[BexyD]

Been thinking of you ma darlin xxx

Think everything you are going through and thinking is natural

It's not the same and cannot be compared, but i had 3 m/c between my 2nd and 3rd babies and each time to urge to try again immediately was overwhelming. Not exactly to replace the babies but to replace the feeling i was missing something and to prove i 'could' do it.

It also helped me move on and deal with life by having something to plan/look forward to. But we are all diferent. A friend who m/c over a year ago still cannot face trying again. xx

It's still early days and there are still lots of emotions to go through until it begins to feel better. Just dont bottle it up, and you mightfind some 'friends' think you are better because you are trying to go out and take yr mind off it, so they may need to be reminded of the gravity of the situation xx

xxx

 

[USAF_WIFE]

Came in to see how you were doing hun and send you loads of

 

[Ladybugbaba]

come to see how you were, thinking of you x x x