Really Upset :-(

[fairy_wings]

Has anyone has any bad experiences when asking for advice/support from midwives units? Having been told at every appointment to monitor movements - which I take obviously seriously - and having a diagnosis of anxiety prior to and during pregnancy, today I basically got made to feel I was an inconvenience, wasting their time because I'd been a couple of times before. I've been really upset. I was seen eventually (at a different place) and all is okay, but I've just been left feeling so awful. I'm scared about going to my next midwife appointment now. I would never knowingly waste anyone's time, it's my first baby and a bit of a miracle one and I was very ill before I fell pregnant so I am a little anxious but I'm not phoning every day or every week! I only asked for some advice and now I'm feeling too embarrassed and ashamed they made those comments to see those midwifes again
Any experiences would be appreciated? Am I being stupid?

 

[Flower15]

Seriously I wouldn't care what they think. They are getting paid to do their jobs. Your babies health is your priority and if your worried you should get checked out. You are doing all the right things. Please please please don't let this experience put you off getting advice and support if you have any concerns. Reduced fetal movements can be very serious, rather have a grumpy midwife and a healthy baby. Just ignore them, your just doing what's best for your LO (and your sanity haha ) x

 

[noon_child]

It's difficult to say whether they were unprofessional without hearing exactly what they said, but you should never be made to feel like your worries are a waste of time. If these midwives think your anxiety is unwarranted then they should be offering support/referral for those issues not getting annoyed.

I was never told to specifically count movements or anything but to get to know what is "normal" and take abnormal movement seriously. I went for monitoring at 33weeks due to reduced movement. By the time I got seen LO was dancing around like crazy and I thought they'd tut and sigh at me, but actually they said it was important they still monitor LO and when all was fine they didn't say anything negative at all.

 

[my1stbump]

I know exactly how you feel, I went to triage because I hadn't felt baby move and was advised to go. When I got there the MW said to me..." Oh I have seen you before, you have been here a few times!"

And then at the end said you know where we are if you need us!!

I felt horrible and felt the need to explain myself. I get embarrassed now if I have to see a MW because I feel like I am over reacting and prob not need to be there, but our babies health and wealth fair come first.

Try not to feel upset, just raise above it. X

 

[Misscalais]

I've been pretty lucky in my pregnancies and have never needed to go into maternity for monitoring or anything like that *touch wood* but I've had a heap of issues this pregnancy. I had 9 gallbladder attacks and had to go to the ER every single time, 7 times in my local hospital where ill be giving birth and twice at my home town 5 hours away when visiting my mum. My local ER is a disgrace, the 1st attack I had I honestly thought I was dying I was in that much pain I couldn't stand I was balling my eyes out on the floor and no one came to my aid, it took my hubby to loose his shit for them to rush me in and it was with rolled eyes by the triage nurse. Ill never forget how I was treated by them, like I was an attention seeker wanting drugs. I never even had and drugs when I gave birth to my boys so I was just so livid at the way I was treated, told to be quite cause there were 'really sick people' next to me. What the actual fuck? Excuse my language but I'm really not pleased with how a lot of medical 'professionals' treat people. The other hospital were amazing and treated me really well and felt really awful for what I was going through. I ended up having surgery at 23 weeks to have it removed, and I had to stay on maternity ward over night just to keep a check on baby. I was made to feel bad about having surgery while pregnant. It's just an awful hospital.
If you are really worried about anything you should be able to call when ever you need to, that's what they are there for. Yes they might be busy, and yes there might be time wasters that are truly wasting time but that shouldn't effect the way they treat the next person.

 

[laylas]

As someone who use to work in the medical field I HATE hearing those stories. Every patient should be treated kindly and warmly. I am so sorry for what you ladies have gone through. Screw them. Seriously. You know what's best for you and your baby, keep your head up and be firm. Don't take their crap.

 

[mayb_baby]

I have been there I went to fetal assessment a few weeks ago due to less than 4 movements in 24hours, I was advised to go by MW.
When I was seen baby kicked up a storm as they do lol, I think it's the monitors and she was questioning me if I had anxiety before pregnancy which I was offended by.

I felt like I needed to explain myself to her and like I was time wasted.

Your babies health comes first xxx

 

[Confusing]

I know how you feel I already feel uncomfortable ringing the triage if i'm worried as is but last week my OH told me to ring because baby was moving non stop erratically for 2 days. I was panicking because she couldn't have slept for 2days straight and reading other peoples stories there was quite a few saying their naby was so lively because they was struggling being tangled in the umbilical chord and how they wished they'd been checked.

Anyway when I rang the receptionist had the most hostile attitude and was sighing all the way through the phonecall. I kept apologising but she was still a bitch. She said why didnt i ring sooner and I explained why, anyway she put me on the phone to the midwife and the midwife said straight away I wouldnt worry cause shes moving!? And that was the end of the conversation. It's really put me off with concerns now so I cant give you any decent advice. I hope you feel better soon though.

 

[fairy_wings]

I know how you feel I already feel uncomfortable ringing the triage if i'm worried as is but last week my OH told me to ring because baby was moving non stop erratically for 2 days. I was panicking because she couldn't have slept for 2days straight and reading other peoples stories there was quite a few saying their naby was so lively because they was struggling being tangled in the umbilical chord and how they wished they'd been checked.

Anyway when I rang the receptionist had the most hostile attitude and was sighing all the way through the phonecall. I kept apologising but she was still a bitch. She said why didnt i ring sooner and I explained why, anyway she put me on the phone to the midwife and the midwife said straight away I wouldnt worry cause shes moving!? And that was the end of the conversation. It's really put me off with concerns now so I cant give you any decent advice. I hope you feel better soon though.

I know how you feel; I think the advice from the midwives is misleading - any changes in pattern of movement it said in my book; yet I got told yesterday over the phone by the first unit 'you're feeling some movements so I wouldn't really worry. It's only a problem if you have no movements' - yes, I thought, because then it's too late! I was upset yesterday but today I just feel really angry about everything that happened

 

[fairy_wings]

I know exactly how you feel, I went to triage because I hadn't felt baby move and was advised to go. When I got there the MW said to me..." Oh I have seen you before, you have been here a few times!"

And then at the end said you know where we are if you need us!!

I felt horrible and felt the need to explain myself. I get embarrassed now if I have to see a MW because I feel like I am over reacting and prob not need to be there, but our babies health and wealth fair come first.

Try not to feel upset, just raise above it. X

I got that comment too yesterday, although the place that actually saw me were supportive in the end. In the first place she actually counted up how many times I'd been in to see them, which weren't routine appointments. I felt like a naughty school kid having had detentions or something. If they don't want us to go in, then why on every single appointment do they keep saying 'monitor movements' call if they change? It doesn't make sense x

 

[Bambino123]

Better safe than sorry. No midwife should make you feel like that. I went running to the doctor with my little newborn baby for (in hindsight) the most ridiculous reasons. (Panicky first time mom!) I would always apologise at the end of the appointment for wasting their time, but he always says "not at all, the only people I get annoyed at are parents that ignore possible symptoms and then only look for help when the baby is very very ill"

I'm another that recently went running into the hospital for reduced foetal movements, only for baby to kick up a storm as soon as the doctor examined me. Instead of making me feel stupid, they said I did the right thing and to come back if I have any more concerns

 

[Krissy485]

I actually just posted something similar on someone elses post so forgive for being lazy and copy/pasting lol

dont ever feel like a neurotic person for getting checked out!!! I personally have suffered 3 losses before this baby and I had to use the progesterone supplements this time. I also have had contractions that have landed me in the hospital. the doctors there made me feel like I was doing the right thing getting checked out and told me to never applogize for getting checked out better safe then sorry. my personal OB on the other was a HUGE B and made me feel stupid whenever I asked questions, never really answered them, and sucked at reassurance. told me that the conctractions I was having at 26 weeks was nothing since my cervix didn't change even though they had to use medication to stop them. told me basically to suck it up and keep going as normal and to ignore them even though she could not promise they wouldn't turn into anything. then when I started measuring big, 35cm at 27w she told me it was my anatomy did say it could be bc of too much fluid(which I had with my 3rd child) or bc of big baby which all mine were well over 8lb at birth.....I saw the high risk dr bc of some other issues with baby...told him everything and I agreed time to FIRE my OB...I see the new one he recommend Monday!

so I guess what I am getting at...I am soooo happy your baby is great!!! but NEVER second guess getting checked out and if a dr makes you feel like you are crazy...decide if they are really worth seeing....I turned 30 weeks today and strating over with a new OB...tells you how bad mine was!

Good luck sweety!!!!