Recent miscarriage

[ScarletCas]

At the end of March, I experienced heavy bleeding. I saw several doctors and they all dismissed what was happening. I ended up in the ER because of the severity and they ran a pregnancy test. It came positive. But the bleeding was not normal and they told me to follow my hcg levels. My levels continued to rise, but very slowly. I was so hopeful, though. Even though I kept bleeding, I should've known. My boyfriend knew. But I thought maybe the baby would be okay. I didn't even know I was pregnant.

I went back to my obgyn and he said the next test would tell us what to do. By the number of days that had passed, my levels should be around 800. They took my blood and two days later the nurse called to tell me I was around 100. I had to go in to the office for a methotrexate shot. He told me the pregnancy was not viable or it was ectopic but I could try again in 2-3 months.

We're still following my levels down to 0. I find out tomorrow where they are. If not low enough, I have to go in for another shot.

I'm so sad right now and I don't know how to move on. I didn't even know I was pregnant. We were going to start trying in the next month but hadn't really started yet. Does anyone know how to feel less sad? I was barely even pregnant but I just feel so awful. And it's even worse that I had to take that awful shot to make it end because it wasn't ending on its own and it wasn't getting better.

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

 

[tcinks]

I'm so sorry. It is natural to feel sad, only time will heal that. It doesn't matter how early it was, a loss is a loss. In my experience, my hcg didn't drop right away but took a few weeks to get down even after taking the medication. So don't worry. Take care of yourself. Talk about it if you need to, on here or others in your life who may understand. How is your boyfriend taking it?

 

[ScarletCas]

Thank you for replying. I don't have any friends who have gone through this so it's hard to talk about with them. My boyfriend has been a rock and so supportive but I can tell he doesn't understand why I am so sad. It frustrates him that he can't help me. Thank you for letting me know about your levels. It's so hard to find information online aside from these forums.

I see that you're expecting now and I'm happy for your good news. Congratulations!

 

[AnnieMac2]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Tcinks is right -you don't have to minimize your pain - you were pregnant, there's no barely. My loss was pretty early and I went to a therapist. It is sometimes hard to find people to talk to. There are wonderful women on here that felt exactly like you do.

It will start to get easier and feel a little more in the past. Until then, be gentle with yourself and just get through one day at a time. I had a d&c on Feb. 22 and waited for 3 weeks prior to that for it to happen naturally. In the last couple weeks is when I started to get better. So it finally does happen. All I could think of was to try to distract myself with reading and exercising (although, I was a basketcase more often than not. I won't pretend I always made the healthiest choices). There's a nice thread on here called how did your loss change you - or something like that - that especially helped me. A few women talked about how their feelings progressed even into their next pregnancy. Maybe that will be comforting for you to read. It will get better xo