Rough Father's Day anyone?

[TinyLynne]

Just finished my 3rd mc in the 9 months we have been trying, got referred to an RE, felt hopeful, found out our insurance covers NOTHING related to fertility. So tried calling OB for new plan of action, still haven't heard back days later. So, stressful time, right?

Now it's Father's Day. My first mc was ON my husbands bday, 2nd just before Mother's Day, and now, a couple of days before Father's Day. I feel horrible that this keeps happening around these tough times.

Well yesterday my Dad and his girlfriend came up to our house and we went to lunch and walked around downtown a bit, in one store my dad said "this is what I want for Christmas" and handed me a coffee mug that said "grandfather" on it, and then made some comment that it better be soon. It bothered me of course, but I moved on. Then later his girlfriend straight up asked me (not for the first time) "so when are you guys going to start having kids?" (Keep in mind she can be super annoying and she never uses her mind and is super spacey) so I said, super annoyed, "Leave us alone" and she kept going "Well it's so exciting!" And "We just want to know!" Ughhhh I said "SO DO WE!!!" And she eventually tapered off and stopped (though it didn't stop her from talking about how adorable HER grandbaby is). Then my night got terrifying in an unrelated to TTC event, which it tends to do sometimes, but that is not for here. I know hard times make me stronger, but I wish I didn't have to be so strong.

Seriously people (aka, my parents... And grandparents and cousins etc) I'm glad that you all had such an easy (mostly accidental) time of conceiving and carrying your kids, but apparently my 28 year old body doesn't work as well as yours did at 15, 18, 20 years old.

They just don't get it! And it is heartbreaking for me to feel that I'm letting down even more people.

How did you all get along?

 

[Trying4first1]

Hey tiny.
Please do not ever feel like you are letting people down. All of his is out of our control. It is such a tough and awful time and when people get on and ask those annoying questions it gets worse that's for sure. I had the same this weekend from some new girls I met. It later came up into conversation that two of them had had MCs before having their own children, then I felt I could tell them my story. They were really lovely and completely knew what I was going through. So this weekend was ok for me I would say. But I am really sorry that you are having a crappy time. I've been there and it sucks
I am starting my therapy soon as I suffer with anxiety and low mood since my second MC where i had the D and C. These feelings we have are normal but I e learnt never be afraid to ask for help if it gets too much. Hope you hear back from your OB soon. Please keep me updated xx

 

[TinyLynne]

Thanks trying, I'm glad you met people that understand. I only know 2 people that have had losses, one isn't very helpful, and the other I really don't talk to. I was hanging out with some girls for a bachelorette party a couple weeks ago (I was the DD) and when the one girl found out I was pregnant she said "on purpose?" Ughhhh it's like everyone around me just hasn't grown up and isn't at the same point in life as me.

I usually do have bad anxiety too, I got so bad I had to leave college for a semester about 8 years ago and constantly had panic attacks when I finally went back. I was so agoraphobic that I couldn't leave the house. My life has changed a TON since then, just little by little working with a therapist for a year. I'm much much better (functional again, lol) but I still freak myself out and get anxious about ttc. I think I get the MOST anxious when I even have the thought of my family finding out about our situation, it's weird.

I hope you are getting along well! Where are you in your cycle? Are you TTC this cycle?

 

[Powell510]

Meeeee!!! 3 year anniversary of our first pregnancy and our first loss

 

[Trying4first1]

Thanks trying, I'm glad you met people that understand. I only know 2 people that have had losses, one isn't very helpful, and the other I really don't talk to. I was hanging out with some girls for a bachelorette party a couple weeks ago (I was the DD) and when the one girl found out I was pregnant she said "on purpose?" Ughhhh it's like everyone around me just hasn't grown up and isn't at the same point in life as me.

I usually do have bad anxiety too, I got so bad I had to leave college for a semester about 8 years ago and constantly had panic attacks when I finally went back. I was so agoraphobic that I couldn't leave the house. My life has changed a TON since then, just little by little working with a therapist for a year. I'm much much better (functional again, lol) but I still freak myself out and get anxious about ttc. I think I get the MOST anxious when I even have the thought of my family finding out about our situation, it's weird.

I hope you are getting along well! Where are you in your cycle? Are you TTC this cycle?

It definitely helps speaking to people who understand. That's what I love about baby and bump 😊 some people are just so ridiculous in the comments they make. Really not clued up in life at all. So sorry you have come across them recently. Not exactly what you have needed.
Sounds like your therapy has helped you a lot 😊 must feel great to know that things have improved over the years. Ttc has started off my anxieties. Well I was ok until the miscarriages.
I am 4dpo today. Me and DH tried this month. We DTD CD 11, 12, 14,15,16. Ovulation confirmed on CD17 but unfortunately didn't DTD that eve as hubby too tired. Are you still going to ttc in the meantime or are you having a break from it all?
I am trying my best to relax this TWW and have promised myself no early testing....

 

[lxb]

I'm so sorry to hear you had a rough father's day.

to your dad's gf. Do they know about the MCs?

It definitely helps finding people who had been through it. You can definitely get more support with those who understands. Those who hadn't been through it will only acknowledge and it is SUPER annoying when they said they "understand". NO. You don't.

fx you'll get your rainbow soon

 

[TinyLynne]

We are taking a break, if we do the same thing, we will get the same outcome. Not up for that again.

And no, they don't know. I have panic attaches when I even THINK about telling them, or anyone in my family really.

 

[Trying4first1]

That's the thing you can't keep going through it each time as its so draining. A break may be a just what you need. I have a month break after my D&C. I felt anxious to get going again but looking back I am so glad that I had that time away from TTC. Helped my try to process what had happened. Really hope you get answers soon x